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Episode 190 - Hurricane Heist: LIVE!


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#101 gigitastic

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 09:38 AM

View PostPollyDarton, on 13 June 2018 - 08:08 AM, said:


Well yeah. There's no way you could go with a brand new yacht. You'd have to go craigslist for that shit. Like this https://miami.craigs....org/search/boa

At this point I'll put a disclaimer: I'm just a nerd who loves movies... I'm not actually planning a heist.
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We're all just nerds who love movies. In no way have i been looking into how much you could make annually if you owned a strip club and where in the U.S you would see the most money . It's a $ 5 billion industry. According to one article I read a mid-sized club can generate $15,000-$20,000 in revenue on a Saturday night.

But seriously you guys we should buy a fucking stripclub. It can be hard work for the dancers but with good mangers (which I would hope we would be. As a feminist myself I would demand we treat them kindly and fairly. ) I know for a fact you can make fucking BANK as a dancer. You can have your costumes and shoes count as a tax deductible as well as all make up and beauty stuff and tans ( and at least in in one documented case I found, plastic surgery.) Some clubs make you tip out and pay the house which I'm not sure i would be comfortable doing but it depends.
( Should I be saving this shit for the Striptease episode?)

#102 grudlian.

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 10:11 AM

View Postgigitastic, on 13 June 2018 - 09:38 AM, said:


We're all just nerds who love movies. In no way have i been looking into how much you could make annually if you owned a strip club and where in the U.S you would see the most money . It's a $ 5 billion industry. According to one article I read a mid-sized club can generate $15,000-$20,000 in revenue on a Saturday night.

But seriously you guys we should buy a fucking stripclub. It can be hard work for the dancers but with good mangers (which I would hope we would be. As a feminist myself I would demand we treat them kindly and fairly. ) I know for a fact you can make fucking BANK as a dancer. You can have your costumes and shoes count as a tax deductible as well as all make up and beauty stuff and tans ( and at least in in one documented case I found, plastic surgery.) Some clubs make you tip out and pay the house which I'm not sure i would be comfortable doing but it depends.
( Should I be saving this shit for the Striptease episode?)

If I stole $600 million, I'm not looking to work ever again. I'm certainly not managing a strip club. Once I wash enough cash to live the rest of my life, I'd probably throw it into stocks.

#103 The Triple Lindy

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 10:30 AM

View Postgrudlian., on 13 June 2018 - 10:11 AM, said:

If I stole $600 million, I'm not looking to work ever again. I'm certainly not managing a strip club. Once I wash enough cash to live the rest of my life, I'd probably throw it into stocks.

You don't have to have a 9-to-5 office job, but you have to do something with your time. Everyone needs a reason to get out of bed every day. You don't want to end up aimless and without purpose, like they do in Adore.

#104 gigitastic

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 10:41 AM

View Postgrudlian., on 13 June 2018 - 10:11 AM, said:

If I stole $600 million, I'm not looking to work ever again. I'm certainly not managing a strip club. Once I wash enough cash to live the rest of my life, I'd probably throw it into stocks.


I mean you don't have to RUN it. I just think it would be a great way to clean money and make a profit. Open up a bunch all over the country maybe go international and live off yacht cruising from one luxury marina to the next or whatever floats your boat (I had to.. the pun was just THERE). I would give you a reason to have a lot of money coming in and would keep even more money coming in.

#105 PollyDarton

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 11:38 AM

I dunno guys. grudlian has a point. There’s an adage that goes something like: “Own your own business so you can decide which 18 hours of the day you work!”

#106 grudlian.

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 11:59 AM

View PostThe Triple Lindy, on 13 June 2018 - 10:30 AM, said:

You don't have to have a 9-to-5 office job, but you have to do something with your time. Everyone needs a reason to get out of bed every day. You don't want to end up aimless and without purpose, like they do in Adore.

I was unemployed for three months out of college and I couldn't stop sleeping with my friend's kids and/or moms. Thank goodness I finally got that job.

#107 sycasey 2.0

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 12:25 PM

View Postgrudlian., on 13 June 2018 - 11:59 AM, said:

I was unemployed for three months out of college and I couldn't stop sleeping with my friend's kids and/or moms. Thank goodness I finally got that job.


Must have been tough with all the lezzos around.

#108 gigitastic

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 12:37 PM

View Postsycasey 2.0, on 13 June 2018 - 12:25 PM, said:


Must have been tough with all the lezzos around.

View Postsycasey 2.0, on 13 June 2018 - 12:25 PM, said:


Must have been tough with all the lezzos around.


No the real hard part was having to smuggle their damn cigarettes to their fucking raft.

#109 PollyDarton

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 12:51 PM

View Postgigitastic, on 13 June 2018 - 12:37 PM, said:


No the real hard part was having to smuggle their damn cigarettes to their fucking raft.


I'm telling you guys... nature's pocket.

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#110 Ryan Sz

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 09:13 PM

View Postgigitastic, on 13 June 2018 - 09:38 AM, said:


We're all just nerds who love movies. In no way have i been looking into how much you could make annually if you owned a strip club and where in the U.S you would see the most money . It's a $ 5 billion industry. According to one article I read a mid-sized club can generate $15,000-$20,000 in revenue on a Saturday night.

But seriously you guys we should buy a fucking stripclub. It can be hard work for the dancers but with good mangers (which I would hope we would be. As a feminist myself I would demand we treat them kindly and fairly. ) I know for a fact you can make fucking BANK as a dancer. You can have your costumes and shoes count as a tax deductible as well as all make up and beauty stuff and tans ( and at least in in one documented case I found, plastic surgery.) Some clubs make you tip out and pay the house which I'm not sure i would be comfortable doing but it depends.
( Should I be saving this shit for the Striptease episode?)

It's been over a decade since I last went to a strip club, but the one i frequented was well maintained and not dingy, the dancers there were raking in a few hundred a night, more if there was a guest dancer in town and it was standing room only. In regards to pay, I think a club is either like a salon or a restaurant, where the dancer either pays a rental fee for their spot to management, or in lieu of a full on wage, they get paid less hourly but they keep whatever they make in tips and dances. And what I've seen was only in Sacramento, I can't imagine how much more dancers are making in a place like Las Vegas where the high end clubs are uber high end.

So now I think our plan is set, first we have to raid a Treasury depot, buy a bunch of strip clubs and car washes, and then wait a couple months before we can truly enjoy our money.
2018 DLM Challenge: 219 movies (189 new) https://letterboxd.c...vies-challenge/
2016 DLM Challenge: 618 movies (478 new)
"I'm gonna fuck the 'Mind of Mencia' out of you!" - Paul Scheer
"Fuck you, I watched this fucking movie bro!" June Diane Raphael
"Everyone is a fucking idiot in this movie!" - Zouks
"How's yo dick?" - Nicole Byer

#111 PollyDarton

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:20 AM

View PostRyan Sz, on 13 June 2018 - 09:13 PM, said:

So now I think our plan is set, first we have to raid a Treasury depot, buy a bunch of strip clubs and car washes, and then wait a couple months before we can truly enjoy our money.


You forgot the most important part! We've got to wait for just one little Hurricane and we'll be set!

#112 The Triple Lindy

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:49 AM

View PostPollyDarton, on 14 June 2018 - 09:20 AM, said:


You forgot the most important part! We've got to wait for just one little Hurricane and we'll be set!

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#113 EvRobert

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 02:11 PM

It's been a couple of years since I've read Diablo Cody's book Candy Girl, but if I remember correctly, she says that she had to pay a fee to the club to dance and a certain percentage of her tips went to the house or maybe it was a percentage of their lap dances went to the house or something.

OZARK also utilized the Strip Club model. They also did a thing where you buy a tank of gas you get a burger for free or something. There was a restaurant that just opened up near me where when you order you get your app, drink, entree and dessert. I think there would be a way to cook the books using that method too.Your moving product but your app and dessert isn't as big or something.

Also from Ozark, a church is a cash heavy industry.

I have friends that are hairdressers and they have to pay a "chair rental" to the salon, that could be another small cash heavy business a person could invest in.

The gym membership though, that's brilliant.

#114 gigitastic

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 04:30 PM

View PostEvRobert, on 14 June 2018 - 02:11 PM, said:

It's been a couple of years since I've read Diablo Cody's book Candy Girl, but if I remember correctly, she says that she had to pay a fee to the club to dance and a certain percentage of her tips went to the house or maybe it was a percentage of their lap dances went to the house or something.

OZARK also utilized the Strip Club model. They also did a thing where you buy a tank of gas you get a burger for free or something. There was a restaurant that just opened up near me where when you order you get your app, drink, entree and dessert. I think there would be a way to cook the books using that method too.Your moving product but your app and dessert isn't as big or something.

Also from Ozark, a church is a cash heavy industry.

I have friends that are hairdressers and they have to pay a "chair rental" to the salon, that could be another small cash heavy business a person could invest in.

The gym membership though, that's brilliant.


I was just about to grab my copy I bought from one of the library book sales I worked to do even more research while i recover from getting the nerves in my back semi burned (the joys of herniated disc / pressed nerve fun)!
Sidenote I'm a volunteer of my library's Friend's Association and my god has it enabled my book buying addiction. Four or five sales a year with books at a dollar and 50 cents a pop and half off on Fridays/ a dollar a bag on Saturdays... it's like giving a druggie access to the warehouse that they stash the drugs seized by the cops. PLUS we just started a deal with a local resale shop to sell our nicest books there for a higher price (red a dollar for paper backs and $2 for hard cover up to a whopping $5 for the really nice sometimes super pricey art coffee books we get in) It's a miracle I have room to move in my house. If you want to buy books cheap and help your local library see if they have any sales throughout the year.) What i'm saying is I will soon be found dead hordes style with cats nibbling my exposed limbs after a tragic book avalanche and I'm ok with that.

#115 gigitastic

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 04:32 PM

View PostThe Triple Lindy, on 14 June 2018 - 09:49 AM, said:

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Well it looks like we need to build ourselves a satellite to make a hurricane then.

#116 Ryan Sz

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:36 PM

View Postgigitastic, on 14 June 2018 - 04:30 PM, said:


I was just about to grab my copy I bought from one of the library book sales I worked to do even more research while i recover from getting the nerves in my back semi burned (the joys of herniated disc / pressed nerve fun)!
Sidenote I'm a volunteer of my library's Friend's Association and my god has it enabled my book buying addiction. Four or five sales a year with books at a dollar and 50 cents a pop and half off on Fridays/ a dollar a bag on Saturdays... it's like giving a druggie access to the warehouse that they stash the drugs seized by the cops. PLUS we just started a deal with a local resale shop to sell our nicest books there for a higher price (red a dollar for paper backs and $2 for hard cover up to a whopping $5 for the really nice sometimes super pricey art coffee books we get in) It's a miracle I have room to move in my house. If you want to buy books cheap and help your local library see if they have any sales throughout the year.) What i'm saying is I will soon be found dead hordes style with cats nibbling my exposed limbs after a tragic book avalanche and I'm ok with that.

At the public library where I work, our Friends are selling books everyday since we get literally hundreds of books a month, minimum, sometimes going into thousands if a family is clearing out a dead relative's collection. Right now we're trying to clear space so we're selling books for either a quarter or fifty cents, and up to two bucks if it's a hardcover in the Friends' bookstore inside the library.
2018 DLM Challenge: 219 movies (189 new) https://letterboxd.c...vies-challenge/
2016 DLM Challenge: 618 movies (478 new)
"I'm gonna fuck the 'Mind of Mencia' out of you!" - Paul Scheer
"Fuck you, I watched this fucking movie bro!" June Diane Raphael
"Everyone is a fucking idiot in this movie!" - Zouks
"How's yo dick?" - Nicole Byer

#117 PollyDarton

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:49 PM

View Postgigitastic, on 14 June 2018 - 04:32 PM, said:


Well it looks like we need to build ourselves a satellite to make a hurricane then.

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#118 joel_rosenbaum

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Posted 15 June 2018 - 02:25 AM

Just an aside, you're definitely not going to launder $600 million through a strip club.

It has to be something high value, like real estate. To make a cash transaction, you'd probably want it to be in another country, one that accepts USD as a reserve currency but is not friendly with the United States. Of course in that scenario you're at the mercy of a hostile foreign government. Obviously, extensive bribes would be necessary. If you don't cover all your bases, your collaborators might end up dead/permanently imprisoned and you would be out of your money. In any event, it would not be a pretty transaction, and you'd be working with a lot of bad actors.

This would have been a much more interesting movie, btw.