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DaltonMaltz

Episode 248 - Triumph At Comic-Con

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Sean and Hayes do a commentary to celebrate their live show at Comic-Con with guest MOSHE KASHER.

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Continued big fan of this "release the ep when I personally get home from work" strategy. This may be what synergy feels like; to arrive home to an ep this all-time glorious B)

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The sentence should have been “I certainly don’t think Dalton wouldn’t have written a great description of the best podcast ever.” Kind of a double negative there.

 

Eat dirt dirteaters.

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Yeah, the only downside is for the poor advertisers. I'm sure everyone was skipping past them to get straight back to the action and not praying, for the sake of the boys' well-being, the ads were going to take up a large chunk of the remaining time.

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Holy crap this is funny, too many laugh out loud moments. Now they know they can sell out any room anywhere at least!

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Oh My God. I've only heard the first 15 minutes or so. I just want to give The Boys a big hug and remind them how much I appreciate them and love them and am in love with them.

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there's no worse feeling than when a joke/scene/segment doesn't land, but when an entire set doesn't land? this is my nightmare scenario.

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[intro]

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment

Would you capture it, or just let it slip?

 

[Verse 1]

Yo! His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready

To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting

What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out

He's choking, how? Everybody's joking now

The clock's run out, time's up, over—blaow!

Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity, oh

There goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad but he won't

Give up that easy, no, he won't have it, he knows

His whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter, he's dope

He knows that but he's broke, he's so stagnant, he knows

When he goes back to this mobile home, that's when it's

Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody

Better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

 

[Chorus]

You better lose yourself in the music

The moment, you own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better lose yourself in the music

The moment, you own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better…

 

 

 

[Verse 2]

His soul's escaping through this hole that is gaping

This world is mine for the taking, make me king

As we move toward a New World Order

A normal life is boring; but superstardom's

Close to post-mortem, it only grows harder

Homie grows hotter, he blows, it's all over

These hoes is all on him, coast-to-coast shows

He's known as the Globetrotter, lonely roads

God only knows, he's grown farther from home, he's no father

He goes home and barely knows his own daughter

But hold your nose, 'cause here goes the cold water

These hoes don't want him no mo', he's cold product

They moved on to the next schmoe who flows

He nose-dove and sold nada, and so the soap opera

Is told, it unfolds, I suppose it's old, partner

But the beat goes on: da-da-dom, da-dom, dah-dah, dah-dah

 

[Chorus]

You better lose yourself in the music

The moment, you own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better lose yourself in the music

The moment, you own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better…

 

 

[Verse 3]

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage

Tear this motherfuckin' roof off like two dogs caged

I was playin' in the beginning, the mood all changed

I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage

But I kept rhymin' and stepped right in the next cypher

Best believe somebody's payin' the Pied Piper

All the pain inside amplified by the

Fact that I can't get by with my nine-to-

five and I can't provide the right type of life for my family

'Cause man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers

And there's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life

And these times are so hard, and it's gettin' even harder

Tryna feed and water my seed, plus teeter-totter

Caught up between bein' a father and a prima donna

Baby mama drama, screamin' on her, too much for me to wanna

Stay in one spot, another day of monotony's

Gotten me to the point I'm like a snail, I've got

To formulate a plot or end up in jail or shot

Success is my only motherfuckin' option—failure's not

Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got

To go; I cannot grow old in Salem's Lot

So here I go, it's my shot: feet, fail me not

This may be the only opportunity that I got

 

[Chorus]

You better lose yourself in the music

The moment, you own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better lose yourself in the music

The moment, you own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo

You better…

 

 

 

 

 

[Outro]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

 

 

 

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Paul Rosenberg May Have Just Revealed The Title of Eminem’s New Album

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What Every Producer Should Know About Getting Paid

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this is like the Mount Everest of podcast episodes, in that it's awe-inspiring and badass as hell and I think it might physically kill me

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Rarely drop by anymore (long story but also very simple story) but just had to praise this ep.

 

Great stuff.

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I just wanted to add I am still thinking of "Mrs. Batman" and it getting no response at all and laughing out loud, hours later. I ain't even joking, I thought they were hitting home runs still, and to hit dingers in normal HH style and get no response at all is so so funny.

 

And then I think of a Mrs. Batman TV show starring Kate Mulgrew and I love the idea! It could even have ratings problems and they keep changing the title until it has nothing to do with Batman.

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Does this replace the Pauly Shore episode as cringiest ever?

 

Man. I haven't thought about that one in a while. Didn't he call Hayes a 'fag' or something LOL?

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And the Oscar goes 2, this episode of Hollywood handbook

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I feel grateful to have access to a forum full of other HH fans because in my irl experiences of listening to the podcast with other people, it feels like being a lone fan among the live audience in this episode. Now I know to just mention Andy Richter and they'll perk up a bit!

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Next show they should listen back to this show of them listening to the previous show. And so on until infinity.

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some good diversity in the forums this week, folks. nothing like an all-timer to bring the fans together.

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Hey guys, just wanted to say I loved the return of the TF! didn't have much to say about the main except it was obvi a Corker, busted guts all around.

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This episode was so good. It was like they were doing an RSS ep on themselves 😍

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