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DaltonMaltz

Episode 252 - Joe Mande, Our Southern Fried Friend

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Comedian Joe Mande joins The Boys again to talk about his new stand-up style.

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Great job Dalton.  

Bet his new stand up style is basketball. 

And a NHTSA ad to boot!   Now that’s the way I like to see my tax dollars spent!

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To everyone wondering if it's weird listening to Joe Monday on a Tuesday episode. It is. But also very funny. This one* is definitely a MUST LISTEN.

 

*And all episodes so far

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As my Mexican friend said after I offered him some of my MDMA: "thank you, I am going to enjoy joe mandy". 

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1 hour ago, Foltaire said:

As my Mexican friend said after I offered him some of my MDMA: "thank you, I am going to enjoy joe mandy". 

Your Mexican friend then turned to me, gave a sly lil' wink and said "Joe Mande the alternative comic, that is, who is making waves in the comedy podcasting world with his boisterous character work, celebrity impressions, and outrageous observations on things you and I see every day but take for granted. Don't worry, Joe Knows Things™ "Don't Worry, Joe Knows Things®©" coming soon to an audiobook discount warehouse or in the backseat of a Mercury Topaz near you, maybe on top of you, depends on where the night takes us. And how good this molly is, ammirite?"

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5 hours ago, Pure Guava said:

Your Mexican friend then turned to me, gave a sly lil' wink and said "Joe Mande the alternative comic, that is, who is making waves in the comedy podcasting world with his boisterous character work, celebrity impressions, and outrageous observations on things you and I see every day but take for granted. Don't worry, Joe Knows Things™ "Don't Worry, Joe Knows Things®©" coming soon to an audiobook discount warehouse or in the backseat of a Mercury Topaz near you, maybe on top of you, depends on where the night takes us. And how good this molly is, ammirite?"

Oh yeah I forgot he did say that too didn't he? 

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So I retroactively apologize that this isn't funny*, but sometimes you gotta get seruos.  My life is absolutely riddled with synchronicites that especially seem to revolve around shows like CBB and HWHB where things that are said off the cuff are affected by some kind of retrocausality from my future that influences the shows or something.  They end up talking about shit that is stuff that just happened in my life and then I'm like, wtf, are we living in a computer simulation?!?  I will attempt to document them.

SYNC 1:  I saw this amazing looking mechanical pencil last week that someone had left on the supplies cabinet and I wanted it, but the supplies Nazi wanted to hold it at her desk in case the pencil-loser returned.  I told her I'd come get it Friday and she meanly squinted, "MONDAY" and then clicked her heels together, extended her palm high, and put her finger over her lip like a little mustache.  She just wanted to make me wait.  On Monday (my 45th b-day) she wasn't even here so I grabbed it and high-tailed out of there.  It's fan-farting-tastic, except that it's .9 which is a little big for my tastes* cause like sometimes it's sharp and sometimes it's too flat depending on the topography of the thing which keeps changing as you use it (also *.)

IMG_2795.jpg.9cab30927adb386cb336b54ce648756a.jpg

Anyway, this bad boy is mine.  And yes, those crappy yellow ones are the source of all complaints about leads going back in.  Most other mechanical pencils have a one way butthole, but the yellow PaperMate Sharpwriters are freaking loose in the caboose if you get my meaning.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, unless you're a pencil.

* like my p****.

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got some tickets to see joe mande live after hearing the caliber of his material on the podcast. i cant wait to hear these great bits irl. VERY refreshing after so much alt comedy bullshit on this network

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4 hours ago, greggy said:

VERY refreshing after so much alt comedy bullshit on this network

Alt comedy bullshit makes me madder 'n a tongueless fella at a lollipop factory

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I kindly request that Chef Kevin not throw fits on mic and get himself scolded because honestly it was triggering and made me feel like a bad boy when Erin Gibson scream "KEVIN!" at him

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Alt-right comedy is even worse.  The yelling and the spittle and stuff, it's just not that good.

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15 hours ago, greggy said:

got some tickets to see joe mande live after hearing the caliber of his material on the podcast. i cant wait to hear these great bits irl. VERY refreshing after so much alt comedy bullshit on this network

GITURRDUNNN

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All the new characters on the pro version were great fun. They're the cinnamon bun and swedish fish etc flavored oreo to Intern Andy's Double Stuf tho, daddy wants the classic

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yes it was nice to hear @JulyDiaz one of the greatest thread posters of all time on there but the fans demand the return of andy kneis @kneisage

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On 8/21/2018 at 10:31 PM, Mediocre Joe said:

Alt comedy bullshit makes me madder 'n a tongueless fella at a lollipop factory

Lollipop factories giimme’ worser falshblacks than a coastal Frenchman with ankle to hips hives. 

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Listening to Listeners Again, Our Close Friends, and... are they talking about THIS forum?  It sounds like this place used to be hopping.  What happened?  And is it like the bible where the gods used to walk among us back in the day and now they just sneer at a distance and laugh when we fall over?

Clipboard082.jpg.9357f56c7d136ca9d2c4dabb26d5a71b.jpg

 

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^

Re: Huh?:  What I meant with the gods on the earth thing was, did the boys used to actually interact on the forums?

Re: Bette Midler is a reference to the nighmarishly haunting "at a distance" song that those of us old enough were assaulted by against our will for many years, in shopping malls, radios... it was so awful.  But we lived to tell the tale.

Bonus conspiracy theory:  What if the ComiCon show wasn't really as terrible as they lead on?  I mean, the audience did get some chuckles in and maybe it felt a bit stilted or not up to their usual standards (e.g. an audience full of HH fans), but that nobody would have walked away saying "jesus, that was awkward..." - I mean, Comicon audiences are used to terrible jokes and people making half-hearted attempts at humor.  Just a thought.

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check out some old threads from around that time KindaGamey and heck while your there maybe click like on some funny posts!

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This place was popping like a bag of genuine popping corn back in the day. Then, like with all bags of popping corn, the weak kernels couldn't take the heat again and got burnt all up. Some of us are all that's left, the skellingtons if you will. Sure, it's scary, but all are welcome to this ghoulish popcorn party..... If you dare! Hahahahah! 

 

If you didn't turn away from being spooked too hard then you passed the test and have officially been jumped into the HH forums gang. Congratulations! We will remove any tattoos that might affiliate you with other podcast forums and give you a different one that is actually much cooler if you ask me.

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re: Re: Huh?: huuuuh?

Heh heh, okay, but seriously, I was huh'ing at what happened, not what you meant.

I recently took a gander at an older forum thread and I gotta say I don't believe it! My first thought was it must be doctored. Crisis actors that couldn't cut it as Hollywood actors. But then I thought maybe I missed the boat and it make me sad so I'm now thinking again it's lies or maybe aliens? Honestly I don't know what to think! but I know what not to think. Join me in not thinking it!

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You guys want me to bring in the crisis actors to fluff the old forum stats or should we do it ourselves?   

How do you think they keep getting those prime ass advertisers for the boyz?   A:  prime ass reads by the boyz. B:  those stats where erybody listens to the boys.  C:  all the not drunk driving I’m now doing.  

IN that ORDER.  

 

HEY GUYS.  buy some boner cream already.  

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