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Colfax McLiverneck

The number 800 is the sum of four consecutive primes. Charlemagne was crowned Emperor in 800 AD. There are 800 kernels of corn per ear. You do the math. It’s right there, clear as day.

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The number 800 is the sum of four consecutive primes. Charlemagne was crowned Emperor in 800 AD. There are 800 kernels of corn per ear. You do the math. It’s right there, clear as day.

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      Just wait until you read this, it's going to blow your mind while simultaneously sticking a finger 2 knuckles deep into your sense of awe: Sure, everyone knows that Charlemagne was crowned Emperor of the West by Pope Leo II but does everyone know that Leo and Charlie-Magnets* each had a secretary? No. Hold the applause and zip up your pants because that wasn't it, that wasn't even "tip of a pinky" awe-inspiring. Now get ready to pull down your zippers with good reason because Pope Leo's  secretary's name? Wedgemore Lincorn Korneddy. BOOM! Finger in the light socket shocking, right?  Well that's just the half of it, so get your fingers ready to pull down your butt zippers because Charlemagne's secretary's name? Lincorn John Corncy Adams Korneddy. 

 

Mic dropped. On your balls. The Illuminati just got a little  Illumi-naughty. 

*What his friends called him because nobody knew how to pronounce or spell Charlemagne and because he was a notorious close talker, like nose to nose no matter what the situation and a weird inclination to lean his pelvis towards you slightly and hold the awkward posture for the remainder of the conversation no matter how long it went.  The theory is C-Mags (what his pen pals called him), was attempting a power move, unfortunately the strain on his face to keep his spine in a backwards question mark made people laugh at him more than they already did for having the name Charlemagne, in fact, they would make bets on who could keep Chucky-Magazine (what his harem calls him because of his habit of keeping magazines around to read to the girls during any lulls in the nightly wine orgy) talking the longest; records show the amount of money changing hands during a CHARMAN OF THE BOARDS (what his P.R. guru insisted the media call him which they did because of the beheading penalty for failure to comply was quite persuasive)

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