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DaltonMaltz

Episode 66 - A Bathroom Stall Story, Dominatrix Therapy + Dave & Matt's Firsts w/ Sam Kieffer

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Earwolf’s own Sam Kieffer joins Dave and Matt to dig in deeper about his recent coming-out, crushing on Pee-Wee Herman, working out issues with a dominatrix, Henry Caville hotness and more! Plus, Matt and Dave talk about their “firsts” and Dave tells a *shocking* story you don’t want to miss!

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First off - supes one of my fave Homophilia episodes ever.  You've inspired me to share a story I have literally (actually, literally) NEVER told anyone before.  A prequel to the story - I bought my first porn when I was 12 at a corner store.  They sold Playgirl and had them out with other magazines and not behind the counter (this was the early 1980s).  I grabbed a bottle of cough syrup, a Playgirl, put them on the counter and told the cashier, "My mom is sick and sent me to the store for these things."  I was vibrating with anxiety and hormones, but she rung it up and I dashed out...only to realize a block later I had grabbed the wrong Playgirl - see, there were two issues out - the regular one and a special, all-photo one that featured at least twice as many penises.  So after waiting the amount of time it would have taken to go home, I returned and exchanged the Playgirl, telling the cashier, "My mom says she already has that one."  Bold.  Because mom needs fresh porn to feel better.  That successful purchase led me to the verboten, never-expressed story I will share with you now...

 

Sophomore year in HS, I took a government field trip to Washington D.C. (from Carmel, CA, so this was a big deal).  For some reason, they let us 14 year-olds wander freely in the nation's capital (which was really not safe back then) and I went to a magazine stand to buy another Playgirl.  The salesman, certainly in his 30s or beyond, asked if I liked what I saw in "those magazines."  I said, "I guess."  He asked if I wanted to take a walk with him and I agreed.  I remember he took me to the Women's Museum a few blocks away - we were definitely curiously stared at - I was a blond, blue-eyed skinny twink who looked his 14 years.  We went into the men's room - I would later reason that he chose a woman's museum that would likely have fewer male visitors and thus a quiet men's restroom and probably a place he'd been to before.  I don't know if he was even gay, but I jerked him off into a sink.  When I asked, "What about me?" he pointed to the magazine and said, "Use that."  I don't know that I regret the exchange, and I guess am glad it wasn't more jarring, but it happened and was the first time I got a guy off.

 

My official first "real sex" was with a boy on the beach when I was 16.  After a romantic picnic at sunset, we messed around and I returned home (the night before the SATs) to find out I hadn't zipped up my backpack all the way and my retainers - that were all of 2 days old - were not in there.  Clearly I took them out for the date.  So I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and went back to the beach where I had to approximate where we were and sifted through the sand for 45 minutes before I found one.  Ten minutes later, I successfully had them both, didn't have to tell my parents I'd lost these $1500 devices and did not really do all that well at that particular SAT sitting.

 

You guys rock - love the podcast, you guys, the guests.  Did 2 marathons myself for AIDS/HIV fundraising and your tales from your run took me back to those.  Keep on keepin' on!

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