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Bizby Moomoo

Advice Needed

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I've recently set out to listen to every Hollywood Handbook episode, starting with the very first. As of January 2016, the law of diminishing returns has not yet set in.  Could you please tell me the exact episode in which it does?

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Law? Returns? Episode? What is this, the debut of "Where Are They Now: Jude Law Edition" on the network that has that contract to broadcast this show? I hope my DVR's Jude Law and/or Bizby Moomoo alert(s) was still set to RECORD ALL NEVER DELETE or some unlucky DVR is sleeping in the dog house tonight! 

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The Jude Law and / or Bizby Moomoo RECORD ALL NEVER DELETE setting comes factory installed on most devices.  So unless SOMEONE turned it off...

 

25 minutes ago, Pure Guava said:

Law? Returns? Episode? What is this, the debut of "Where Are They Now: Jude Law Edition" on the network that has that contract to broadcast this show? I hope my DVR's Jude Law and/or Bizby Moomoo alert(s) was still set to RECORD ALL NEVER DELETE or some unlucky DVR is sleeping in the dog house tonight! 

 

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OH SNAP,  AMBIEN SLEEPWALKING COMA HAS FUCKED ME AGAIN. Better let the rest of mommy's little blackout friend sleep in the dog house tonight. DVR, your sentence has been reprieved by Governor MooMoo with a last second call to the gas chamber that showed up fully installed and in working order in my basement one night (gophers that refused to make funny faces while holding a golf ball were the test subjects, not people, I may be a sick fuck but not a twisted sicko)  after what I'm guessing was an Ambien sleepwalking coma but I don't have any tools, technical know-how or a truck that can haul 7,000 tons of death machinery, much less the ability to transport and install it within an 10 hour window.

      I've never got a bill or weird charges on my bus pass, just a letter from England saying "I'm going to kill you in this very soon, "this" being the gas chamber that I paid to have installed during one of your weekly walking coma adventures and "kill" meaning murder you by strapping you into it and "you" meaning you and "soon" meaning within a fortnight." Sincerely Yours, Signed By Your Future Murderer,  J. Law.

     So random, do you think it has anything to do with the gas chamber? Best I could come up with is this Jlaw feller must be inviting me to play Fortnite. Oooohh maybe it's J-Lo spelled in an ethnically mysterious to me way. Playing Fortnite with J-Lo,  that'd be dope, right Mayor?

4 hours ago, Bizby Moomoo said:

The Jude Law and / or Bizby Moomoo RECORD ALL NEVER DELETE setting comes factory installed on most devices.  So unless SOMEONE turned it off...

 

 

is

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Yes, playing Fortine with J-Lo would be dope. As dope as playing any video game with J-Lo. Perhaps Link to the Past on Snes?

As for everything else you said?  I've never owned a D-V-R, as I "live" in Wisconsin.

Best wishes,

J. Law, I mean, Mayor/Governor Bizby Moomoo

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something is fishy here

ok that's better, I stepped out of the salmon fishery

At least that's what I want you to think...I"m on to you "Mayo Moo" like a burger with mayonnaise on it, hold the burger. Tasty. 

In a place that may or may not smell like a salmon fishery, I will be waiting, bee repellent in hand, writing 0 star reviews for The Young Pope

 

 

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In a place that may smell like a salmon fishery? Bee repellent? The Young Pope?  I'll have to get the 'gang' together to solve this one.  Hopefully the short, orange-sweater-wearing girl with what I'm assuming to be macular degeneration will show up. She's a straight up master sleuth.

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From the diary of Velma Dinkley:

"Later that night we followed the trail of clues to the old, abandoned salmon fishery.  There, hiding behind a stack of empty fish barrels, we found who Mayor Moomoo believed to be our perpetrator (the simplicity of his detective work is so adorable, someday he will be all mine)...Mr Adam Scott!

Something wasn't right.  Why would someone with that level of starpower leave a trail of clues on a podcast forum?  And although the Morrissey t-shirt displayed outstanding attention to detail, it was clearly not the same shirt Adam's uncle bought him in 1985.

I reached out and peeled away a cheap, party supply store mask to reveal...Jude Law!!??

Looking back on previous forum comments, it couldn't have been more obvious. Well, I'm off to bed. Can't wait to pick up my new, unscratched trifocals in the morning."

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The jig is up. The dance is done. The bird has left its cage. The fat lady has warbled her tune, which in this case is the Scooby Doo theme song. You caught me, this "Pure Guava" character was created to spread buzz about Jude Lincoln Law's upcoming projects. And I would have if it weren't for Ambien night walks of blank. Oh and of course you meddling kids. Grrrr. 

 

 

 

Be sure to watch "Young Pope 2: Popin' Ain't Easy Movie only on TV" starring Adam Scott as Jude Law in his most memorable role yet: ( get ready for this twist to knock the fuckin' bees off your beard)  Fred, the scarf-wearing detective as Adam Scott as  Jude Law as Young Pope (Popius Ponti-Raid I, the First of His Name, he thirsts for that Fame (SPOILER ALERT) but can only find "Fame 2: Coco'n Ain't Easy" a direct-to-laserdisc disaster that tried to cash in on that Fame fame but could only wash out like a lame-lame. Fame 2: Coco'n Ain't Easy starring JUDE LINCOLN LAW AS COCO AND HOLY SHIT HIS SECRETARY WAS ALSO NAMED KENNEDY

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From the diary of Velma Dinkley:

"I can't wait for Mayor Moomoo to wake from the medically induced coma that he has been put under due to the 2nd degree bee repellent burns he suffered at the abandoned salmon fishery (he's still so adorable, ooooooo I just want to smootch his chemically irritated cheeks so so super bad oh kissy kissy all night long, smooch smooch, DOUBLE smooch). 

He'll be absolutely thrilled to know that not only "Young Pope 2: Popin' Ain't Easy Movie only on TV" is coming to network, but that also "Fame 2: Coco'n Ain't Easy" is available on what he calls his 'silvered records machine'.  I hope he leaves his curtains open while he watches it.

Note to self: Remember to call Mr Kennedy tomorrow morning and ask him to hold all of my non-Moomoo related calls. I have no desire to speak to Mr. Frederick Herman Jones. Superstardom has gone straight to his hanker-tie."

 

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Frederick Herman Jones? I coulda swore Fred's last name was "The Scarf-Wearing Detective" that's what Scooby told me and if there's one thing we A-List celebrities originally from Santa Cruz that have co-hosted 2 podcasts on Earwolf with Scottrick "Rude Jude" Lawkerman agree on is that Scooby don't lie, bitches, Scooby is on the up and up, and if you flying higher than the giraffe's vagina that's sitting in a bucket of dry ice on seat 23A on Jet Blue flight 501 (Oakland to JFKENNEDY) as we speak in hopes of getting to the nunnery on time for the transplant surgery  (animal vagina transplants are all the rage among rich nuns these days thanks to the discovery of a missing piece of the Dead Sea Scrolls that contains a quote from Jesus during the Sermon on the Mount: "It's all good, bae, you still a virgin in daddy's eyes if the sex be happening  in your new animal hoo-haa, word up) to have a chance of success than you are too paranoid to lie, besides, he'd sell his own bitch mother out for just a nibble of a Scooby snack, lies are too hard for the desperate to keep track of;  It's easier to spill the beans and walk away rather than to rearrange the beans into different patterns you have to memorize. 


I don't know if this is the beginning or the end of another caper all I know is fathering triplets with Leslie Knope ain't knope picnic, brother. 

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The end (pop-up question mark)

Written and Directed by Adam Scott

Cast

Jude                          Adam Scott

Adam                        Jude Law

Mayor Moomoo      Brad Pitt

Velma (voiced by)    Morgan Freeman

Fred (voiced by)        Freddy Prince Jr

Ponti-Raid                 Adam Scott

Young Adam             Justin Fields

Mr. Kennedy           Scott Lawkerman

 

"Scooby Theme Remix" performed by Jennifer Lopez

Speacial Thanks to Morrissey

Shot on location at the abandoned fishery

No animals were seriously harmed in the production of this film

An Adam Scott Joint

©2019  All rights reserved

Ant-Man will return

 

 

Music that I forgot to start at the beginning of this post (maybe 'Life is a Highway'?) trails off...

 

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On 1/8/2019 at 1:22 AM, Pure Guava said:

Frederick Herman Jones? I coulda swore Fred's last name was "The Scarf-Wearing Detective" that's what Scooby told me and if there's one thing we A-List celebrities originally from Santa Cruz that have co-hosted 2 podcasts on Earwolf with Scottrick "Rude Jude" Lawkerman agree on is that Scooby don't lie, bitches, Scooby is on the up and up, and if you flying higher than the giraffe's vagina that's sitting in a bucket of dry ice on seat 23A on Jet Blue flight 501 (Oakland to JFKENNEDY) as we speak in hopes of getting to the nunnery on time for the transplant surgery  (animal vagina transplants are all the rage among rich nuns these days thanks to the discovery of a missing piece of the Dead Sea Scrolls that contains a quote from Jesus during the Sermon on the Mount: "It's all good, bae, you still a virgin in daddy's eyes if the sex be happening  in your new animal hoo-haa, word up) to have a chance of success than you are too paranoid to lie, besides, he'd sell his own bitch mother out for just a nibble of a Scooby snack, lies are too hard for the desperate to keep track of;  It's easier to spill the beans and walk away rather than to rearrange the beans into different patterns you have to memorize. 


I don't know if this is the beginning or the end of another caper all I know is fathering triplets with Leslie Knope ain't knope picnic, brother. 

Fade in....

A silver haired prison guard carrying a tray of food pushes open a door with the words 'Cell Block 14 - Extra High Security" printed on it.

He walks down a metal corridor. Dying florescents flicker overhead.

"Hmph! Only two more weeks til retirement"

He continues down the corridor.

"Mr Scott!  Dinner is served. Mr Scott!"

He turns the corner and his eyes widen.

"Mr Scott???....."

We see a small empty cell.  The bars on the only window have been filed away. A makeshift rope made of bedsheets hangs through the opening.

"Good God...no, please, no..."

The guard drops the tray and faints in slow motion.

Fade to black.

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