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JulyDiaz

Episode 215 - The Country Bears (w/ Kulap Vilaysack)

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I can't believe Kulap didn't mention Scott was a Country Bear. I demand he appear on the mini to speak about the Country Bears.

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On 6/7/2019 at 11:45 PM, Elektra Boogaloo said:

Okay so I went to rent this and I said to myself, "Self, I like you more than this." And I didn't watch it. So I found this podcast very surreal.

Besides Paul, did anyone ever go to see the Country Bears Jamboree on purpose? I remember seeing it as a kid, and my entire group being like "this sucks. Can we go on Thunder Mountain again?"

Also, are we told the names of the bears in the ride? Because I did not know who they were. And I reluctantly googled it just now and it doesn't seem like they are the same as the characters in the movie. I mean there is a Trixie but no Beary?

Also, I would really like a Funny or Die Short, directed by Kulap, about Jason and Paul hunting Country Bears in their natural habitat, ie Disney.

I have to say that the first time I went to Disneyland as a child (I was 6-ish) I loved the Bear Jamboree and went to go everyday we were at the park. Then again bears are my favourite animal so that could be why. My Dad call the Country Bear Jamboree "A good way to get dry from Splash Mountain"

On 6/8/2019 at 10:05 AM, gigi-tastic said:

Ok so my inner June is a little confused and worried that MC Gainly said he raised his children in the tour van. Do you think he thinks of that chicken as his child? Did he possibly have more than one? Or were actual human children raised in this van and I'm having a spaghetti robot moment? Either way I have questions and am UPSET

I'd like to imagine that MC Gainy slept with bear groupies and has a half bear child.

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8 minutes ago, Cam Bert said:

I have to say that the first time I went to Disneyland as a child (I was 6-ish) I loved the Bear Jamboree and went to go everyday we were at the park. Then again bears are my favourite animal so that could be why. My Dad call the Country Bear Jamboree "A good way to get dry from Splash Mountain"

I hope you have pictures! Cam Bert and the fam at the Country Bear jamboree sounds like a real kodiak moment 😏

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So I must admit this movie did make me laugh more than I thought. However, it starts off on one of the worst most illogical puns I have ever seen. The Country Bears are on their "Hiber Nation Tour." Get it? Hibernation is something bears do and it's a cross country tour the word nation is in it. Hiliarious. NO! That's not the joke. They are not on a "Hiber-nation" tour or a "Hiber'Nation'" no they are on a "Hiber (SPACE) Nation" tour. The word is no longer hibernation. It is now two words. That's not even true, it is only one word. Hiber is not a word. It means nothing. Without the quotes or hyphens it makes no goddamn sense. You could just use the proper word hibernation tour and it would make just as much sense because you'd say it same way as you'd say "hiber nation." I cannot abide by this horrible non-pun.

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3 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

I hope you have pictures! Cam Bert and the fam at the Country Bear jamboree sounds like a real kodiak moment 😏

My memory is that we are all wet from Splash Mountain. I will ask my mother if she can find them.

Wait... I just got that now.

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If I remember correctly, Queen Latifah mentions in the bar that she can't get Zeb Zoober to stop calling her "Cha-Cha".

Also, during the closing credits documentary footage, she's wearing the same outfit she had on during the movie.

Therefore, I think she was actually playing herself both times, and they just chose to call her "Cha-Cha" as sort of a joke in the closing credits.

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This was a timely movie for me. Mostly because I had students who didn't go on a trip and they needed entertained. Country Bears it was. They seemed to enjoy the film, and we had very interesting conversations about whether Beary was kidnapped and if the adult bears were responsible for him and not doing their due diligence. 

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On 6/10/2019 at 9:29 PM, Cam Bert said:

So I must admit this movie did make me laugh more than I thought. However, it starts off on one of the worst most illogical puns I have ever seen. The Country Bears are on their "Hiber Nation Tour." Get it? Hibernation is something bears do and it's a cross country tour the word nation is in it. Hiliarious. NO! That's not the joke. They are not on a "Hiber-nation" tour or a "Hiber'Nation'" no they are on a "Hiber (SPACE) Nation" tour. The word is no longer hibernation. It is now two words. That's not even true, it is only one word. Hiber is not a word. It means nothing. Without the quotes or hyphens it makes no goddamn sense. You could just use the proper word hibernation tour and it would make just as much sense because you'd say it same way as you'd say "hiber nation." I cannot abide by this horrible non-pun.

I know it was supposed to refer to hibernation but would it have been any better if the tour was called "Hi Bear Nation"?

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14 minutes ago, The_Other_MikeD said:

I know it was supposed to refer to hibernation but would it have been any better if the tour was called "Hi Bear Nation"?

Yes. Yes it would have.

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So one of the thoughts I had during the movie  was on bears and their lifespans and would these bears be dead or not. I was glad they brought it up on the podcast but then I started doing the abstract math. Based on their coats, these are brown bears which have an average life span of 25 years. If we stop there, yes the Country Bears should be dead. However, these are evolved bears so they age differently. When the state troopers are looking at Beary's photo they say "What is he, in the forth grade?" His adopted mother confirms this so that would place Beary at 9 to 10 human years of age. We know from his size he's not fully grown and not matured. Brown bears don't fully mature until around the age of 4. So we can assume based on this that at the age of 9 or 10 Beary is less than 4 in bear years. If we assume that bears reach adulthood roughly the same time bears do that means bears age roughly at four and half times that of humans. This would put the bears in this world with average life spans of 112! Now, if we count adult maturity the age at which we enter puberty that would age them closer to three times that of humans putting their life span closer to 75 to 85 years. At best, bears have about average human spans in this movie universe. Now for the truly terrifying thought. That 25 year life span is based on bears in the wild. In captivity, or you know having a comfortable living, they have been on record as to living up to 40 years meaning these bears could possibly live to be 180 in our years!!

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OK, as what appears to be the resident Disney fan, let me clear up a few things:

1. Paul, The Country Bear Jamboree still plays at Walt Disney World, why are you so fixated on it being in Tokyo? Why? 

2. Trixie. oK in the theme park show, there are two women and one girl group made up of three younger female bears (Bunny, Bubbles, and Beula). Trixie, in the attraction, is heavier and tends to sing songs (in all three different shows) of lost love. And Tedda Berra (who comes down from the ceiling on a swing) is more...seductive? She has chemistry with Henry, certainly. I feel like film Trixie was a composite and the younger bears were just cut. So...yeah, let's just cut as many females out of the Jamboree as possible.

3. The main difference I don't like here is the feeling about country music.  When the original show was produced, country music was more of a Johnny Cash/Hank Williams kind of style. Trying to transpose it to this country rock thing just DIDN'T work for me at all. I think if this movie had been in development a few years later when Walk the Line hit, it might have all gone differently. 

4. Yes, I'm one of the people who loves the attraction. I love the characters and again, that old school country music vibe. That's NOT what this movie is. 

5. You know Don Henley was just NOT happy to say that line about the Country Bears being better than the Eagles. You can see the pain in his eyes. 

 

OK, if anyone has more Country Bear attraction questions, go ahead and ask! I avoided this movie after seeing the trailer because I knew it would be awful. Thanks a lot, guys, you proved me right.

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So are these bears eating enough? In order to find out we need to know if the bears in this world hibernate. If they do they need to be eating A LOT to put on the much needed weight to survive the winter months. If they are are brown bears then according to the National Park Service Alaskan brown bears eat up to 80 to 90 pounds of food a day in the summer and fall. They can gain anywhere from 3 to 6 pounds A DAY. 

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4 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

So are these bears eating enough? In order to find out we need to know if the bears in this world hibernate. If they do they need to be eating A LOT to put on the much needed weight to survive the winter months. If they are are brown bears then according to the National Park Service Alaskan brown bears eat up to 80 to 90 pounds of food a day in the summer and fall. They can gain anywhere from 3 to 6 pounds A DAY. 

I think that brings up the even deeper question, do these bears hibernate? If they don't and there are no Pluto bears to their Goofy bears then that is yet another reason "Hiber Nation Tour" is just incredibly stupid.

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Okay, so the bears owe just $20,000 after not paying the mortgage on that enormous building for 6 years?! That means that their monthly payment was only $278 a month for a huge performance venue and what seemed like a large amount of land. I know times were tough for the bears, but seems like they could’ve found a way to make that work. 

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20 minutes ago, Shay said:

Okay, so the bears owe just $20,000 after not paying the mortgage on that enormous building for 6 years?! That means that their monthly payment was only $278 a month for a huge performance venue and what seemed like a large amount of land. I know times were tough for the bears, but seems like they could’ve found a way to make that work. 

I could be wrong, but I thought it was six months. That would make it a little more than $3,000 a month. Not bad considering the venue and property, but maybe a bit trickier 🙂

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9 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

I could be wrong, but I thought it was six months. That would make it a little more than $3,000 a month. Not bad considering the venue and property, but maybe a bit trickier 🙂

Just watched the scene again. It’s 6 years. 

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12 minutes ago, Shay said:

Just watched the scene again. It’s 6 years. 

That’s insane! Walken should have foreclosed on those deadbeats YEARS ago! 

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3 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

That’s insane! Walken should have foreclosed on those deadbeats YEARS ago! 

Exactly! I’m 100% on the banks side on this one

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7 minutes ago, Shay said:

Exactly! I’m 100% on the banks side on this one

Absolutely! I already thought six months was incredibly lenient. Six years is downright saintly.

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On 6/10/2019 at 1:43 AM, sycasey 2.0 said:

Here's a good article on Disney rides turned into movies:

https://www.themeparktourist.com/features/20180408/33790/ride-screen-8-best-and-worst-disney-movies-based-rides

First of all, even calling Mission to Mars an adaptation of the Disney ride is a big stretch. Secondly, I notice that all but one of these was made BEFORE Pirates of the Caribbean. That's right, at one time Disney figured The Country Bears was a better bet than friggin' Pirates. Sometimes our corporate overlords are dumb.

Who can truly predict what will succeed?  “CutThroat Island” bombed

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