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Episode 220 - Hobbs & Shaw: LIVE! (w/ Adam Scott, Nicole Byer)

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In defense of Vin Diesel (a sentence I never thought I’d write), from what I understand, it’s not that he demands to know what every “I am Groot” means, so much as James Gunn had a special script created for him to translate what he’s actually saying so he can give it the proper inflection. For example, when he’s dusted in Infinity War, according to the directors, his “I am Groot” was him crying out “father” (i.e. Rocket Raccoon)

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No one on here (or on the podcast) mentioned it, but the  champagne bottle was an homage to a pivotal scene in GOT last season (among all the other references)

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So how small is Dex's dick? The Rock was often jabbing at Deckard's size, but there's one exchange from the movie that confirms it's more than just shit talk. 

When the Dex, Hobbs, and Vanessa Kirby make it back to Shaw's Lair, Hobbs sees all of Dex's sports cars and tells him he's overcompensating, obviously for his small penis. Shaw retorts that, if anything he's UNDERcompensating. This suggests that his dick is SO small, that his fleet of McLarens don't compensate for just how small it is. 

So what are we thinking? Two inches? 

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On 8/16/2019 at 5:28 AM, Baron said:

I am 99.6% sure that the Voice, the bad guys disembodied voice that we hear throughout the movie, is Ryan Reynolds.  It may not be the same character as he plays in the rest of the movie, but listen to his voice especially in the last scene as he teases the next movie.  

 

On 8/16/2019 at 9:52 AM, theworstbuddhist said:

I feel like that would be too easy. My theory is that it's "Mr. Nobody", Kurt Russell's character. Or maybe Adam Scott.

 

On 8/16/2019 at 1:45 PM, Smigg. said:

I have a theory as to who "The Voice" is. 

It's Gina Carano.

She was Hobb's partner in Fast 6, hence the "Reunion"
She was Owen Shaw's girlfriend, so she knows Deckard Shaw
She was supposedly "killed", but, considering this is Fast and Furious, that doesn't mean a fucking thing, she's another "Super Soldier" that Eteon could bring back to life

 

7 hours ago, austin14 said:

So my theory is the voice is going to turn out to be John Cena who we know is going to be in Fast and Furious 9, my crazy theory is Hobbs dad is going to turn out to be Nic Cage, and my correction is that there 4 bald people in these movies with Diesel,  the Rock, Statham and  Tyrese Gibson

Solid theories. I agree that it sounded like Ryan Reynolds at times. And I also agree that Gina Carano is awesome. 

My guess is that it will be Hobbs' daughter's mama, filling in the "?" in her family tree. Give me Letitia Wright or Taraji P. I'd even take Vivica Fox or Pam Grier. 

 

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On 8/16/2019 at 5:28 AM, Baron said:

I am 99.6% sure that the Voice, the bad guys disembodied voice that we hear throughout the movie, is Ryan Reynolds.  It may not be the same character as he plays in the rest of the movie, but listen to his voice especially in the last scene as he teases the next movie.  

I thought the exact same thing the moment I heard the rhythm of the voice.

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Love this Ep 100%

I have some OMISSIONS for the mini Ep.

 

1. Nobody mentioned how Jason could totally be cast as Hobbs Brother (or one of the many siblings at least) because Cliff Curtis was sporting a beard ala Jason the only thing missing for a 100% doppelganger status was the braids... It was all I could think about when I saw the movie in theaters remember Jason has one foot in the door  because he played the TickTock Man in Jonh Wick 3 Parabellum and it shares the same direction with Hobbs and Shaw.maxresdefault.jpg

2. Nobody remembered that John😉 June, Jason And Adam with help from the audience successfully predicted a Shaw mother role played by Hellen Mirren and a Shaw sister like 4 years back in the live episode for Furious 7... That or Chris Morgan is a huge HDTGM fan

3. Maybe the huge ball/testicles gag is an anti-steroids message delivered as ball busting (pun intended) banter between Hobbs and Shaw (it's common knowledge that juicers get big testicles and small penises)

 (Saved the best for last) 4. In keeping with what Jason said about Hobbs and Shaw that it takes from other movies without a second thought, he mentioned the transformers robotic morph sounds and I think the MovieBitches review of Hobbs and Shaw pointed out the Rock doing his best helicopter wrangling/muscle flex ala Captain America in Civil War

CaringSoftAmericancrow-size_restricted.g

One thing that I noticed was the ending scene lifted beat to beat from the original Blade Runner (spoilers for that movie)

But... In Hobbs and Shaw is a reversal were the humans with "heart" save and spare the machine just as Idris is against the ropes with rain and a blueish tone to boot... My brain literally melted in the theater 😂 I was dead 😂

 

I hope some of these make it to the mini Ep next week...

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@taylorannephoto @Elektra Boogaloo @tomspanks - The KVD liner is just so very annoyingly good. It's like... it's greatness is perfectly disproportionate to her garbage-person-ness. Keep me updated if anyone finds a viable competitor.

They sort of touched on this in the podcast but Vanessa Kirby's wardrobe (and H&S for that matter) really uses some Bugs Bunny rules. She's in the brown wig when she first meets Hobbs, but her blonde beach waves are perfect in the next scene.
Then she has the short brown wig for the airport, but it's gone again once they are on the plane.

Just so everyone knows... This

composite.jpg

is a proper wig prep. Without it, your actual hair will likely be very visibly or your wig will be enormous and obvious.

I might be able to give a pass to the huge brown bob at the airport, but the dark brown updo would require some version of above to be believable.

 

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So... A commercial flight from Moscow to Apia (the capital of Somoa) is, at the fastest, 36 hours. It has 2 stops.

Kevin Hart says they chartered a flight, which could mean less stops, although I imagine they may have had to stop to refuel? Best possible scenario... 24 hours?

cHLxajM.jpg

 

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They were

22 minutes ago, IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN said:

1. Nobody mentioned how Jason could totally be cast as Hobbs Brother (or one of the many siblings at least) because Cliff Curtis was sporting a beard ala Jason the only thing missing for a 100% doppelganger status was the braids... It was all I could think about when I saw the movie in theaters remember Jason has one foot in the door  because he played the TickTock Man in Jonh Wick 3 Parabellum and it shares the same direction we Hobbs and Shaw.maxresdefault.jpg

This was going to be my next comment. I thought the same thing.

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With all the talk about make up, I think they understate what a badass Vanessa Kirby is. They should've called this movie Fast and Fury Road.

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4 hours ago, topherwhatever said:

So how small is Dex's dick? The Rock was often jabbing at Deckard's size, but there's one exchange from the movie that confirms it's more than just shit talk. 

When the Dex, Hobbs, and Vanessa Kirby make it back to Shaw's Lair, Hobbs sees all of Dex's sports cars and tells him he's overcompensating, obviously for his small penis. Shaw retorts that, if anything he's UNDERcompensating. This suggests that his dick is SO small, that his fleet of McLarens don't compensate for just how small it is. 

So what are we thinking? Two inches? 

No he said undercompensating in the way to act as the reversal of how cars are seen as overcompensation, meaning he was saying he doesn't need to compensate as he's carrying a Chev Chelios sized horse cock. It's not written in the best way but that was what he was trying to convey I feel.

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It's a shame that Jason Momoa wasn't able to appear as The Rock's brother, considering Roman Reigns was also in the movie, and the two of them are constantly told that they look like the other.

image.png.13acd20071f2feaa0449c3a7fafc5be9.png

 

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Speaking of Roman Reigns, and this has nothing to do with the movie, but I like the story, his father, Sika Anoa'i, was a member of the Wild Samoans tag team, with his brother, Afa.  The gimmick they had was that they were a pair of savages, who chewed on bones, didn't speak, and were "wild", as the name suggests.

Well, a young Chris Jericho was hanging around the hotel they were staying in, hoping to meet some wrestlers.  He then saw Sika, and approached him with a book, and in broken english said "Sika... please... sign book?  Please... sign...", and Sika said "Fuck off, kid".  To which Jericho responded with "What?!  You speak english?!"

 

 

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21 hours ago, IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN said:

One thing that I noticed was the ending scene lifted beat to beat from the original Blade Runner (spoilers for that movie)

But... In Hobbs and Shaw is a reversal were the humans with "heart" save and spare the machine just as Idris is against the ropes with rain and a blueish tone to boot... My brain literally melted in the theater 😂 I was dead 😂

And both scenes feature a Deckard! 

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On 8/18/2019 at 5:20 AM, Smigg. said:

It's a shame that Jason Momoa wasn't able to appear as The Rock's brother, considering Roman Reigns was also in the movie, and the two of them are constantly told that they look like the other.

image.png.13acd20071f2feaa0449c3a7fafc5be9.png

 

Steven Adams and Momoa are basically twins

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Okay I believe it is time for the moments in movies when I get most frustrated...

That's right it's time for This Week in Feminism.

I was delighted to hear an audience member mention things that I also wanted to mention, because one of my first points was, "Where are the fucking women?" But the response of the crew didn't satisfy me and here's why -

Yes, Hattie is a badass through and through. She was an operative for MI6 and went head to head with Luke Hobbs without even blinking an eye. She sacrificed herself so that Idris Elba wouldn't get the virus, and at the end of the day it was her plan that got the blood machine so that she could ultimately live. Definitely a badass. However, that doesn't actually answer the question. Hattie is one woman. To answer the question, "Where are the women?" with, "Well Hattie is a badass," implies that multiple women can't just be in scenes talking to each other because we already have the one woman being a badass and that's good enough right? They also mentioned the team of vigilante women lead by Eiza Gonzalez in Russia, but here's my problem with them - Only Eiza has any lines. There are 4 other women in this group and their only purpose for this movie is to look sexy in lingerie and be intimidating. That's not really showing any other badass women considering we never actually got to see them in action. The marketing for this movie completely hyped up Eiza's role and it really disappointed me that she didn't have anything better to do for a longer portion of the movie.

Michelle Rodriguez had posted after F8 that if this franchise didn't step up it's representation of women then she would leave the series, and I think with this movie they took one tiny baby step in the right direction. Now I know this movie is a spin-off and has nothing to do with the set of movies that Michelle was actually talking about because she's in the camp of "fuck Hobbs & Shaw" but it's still part of the series none the less. With Hattie being a total badass and being central to the plot instead of a side character I do think that they want women to be part of the story, but in my opinion, even though Hattie is a total badass, she's just a plot point she's not actually involved in her own story a la Natalie Portman in Thor: The Dark World. If you took that virus out of Hattie's blood she no longer becomes relevant to this story, and it still all resolves around Hobbs & Shaw more than likely doing the bulk of the work to get the virus away from Eteon. She's kidnapped twice to be rescued by the two men, and in the final climax fight of the whole movie she's regulated to sitting in the rain with a gun pointed at her head. To me, this isn't badass empowering writing. This is lazy "feminism" that is stuck in the early 2000s.

But honestly the thing that frustrated me the most is that this didn't even pass The Bechdel Test. It would've been so fucking easy for them to do. They had multiple named women who were literally standing in the same room together, but never once do any of them address each other, instead they talk to the men about things the other woman brought up instead.

  • The female guard with Helen Mirren doesn't have a name - Fail
  • Hattie is the only woman on her entire team - Fail
  • Eiza is the only named and speaking woman on her team - Fail
  • Hobb's daughter never speaks to the woman she is staying with - Fail
  • Hattie and Eiza stand face to face and only talk to Hobbs & Shaw - Fail
  • Hobbs's mother doesn't have a name (she is named on IMDB but they never once say it in the movie) - Fail
  • There are no lines between Helen Mirren and Hattie at the end of the movie - Fail

It's the simplest of things that in 2019 should literally be the bare minimum for writing female characters. I'm not asking for the entire story to be changed, because honestly the overarching thing doesn't bother me despite poking holes in the "baddassery" of it. But to not have two women even speak to each other when they're literally standing face to face discussing ultimate plans for how to get a blood machine is absolutely ridiculous.

Literally I just want women to be able to talk to each other about things not related to men. That would be grand.

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On 8/17/2019 at 10:53 PM, RyanSz said:

No he said undercompensating in the way to act as the reversal of how cars are seen as overcompensation, meaning he was saying he doesn't need to compensate as he's carrying a Chev Chelios sized horse cock. It's not written in the best way but that was what he was trying to convey I feel.

I'm sure that's the idea, but does it make any sense? 

Overcompensating - compensating too much. 

Undercompensating - not compensating enough. 

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On 8/15/2019 at 11:00 PM, gigi-tastic said:

So I haven't had a chance to see the movie yet. I know they go to Samoa but are they going to the country Samoa or the American Samoa territory? 

Fun facts the country of Samoa has no military and should they need an army relies on New Zealand's military.  

Ironically the American Samoa territory has the largest U.S military enlistment than any other state or territory. However citizens of America Samoa cannot vote for President, and are not considered nationalized citizens at birth. It's truly fucked up.

 

I'm gonna say it's almost certainly American Samoa, given that The Rock's grandfather was from there.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Maivia

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5 hours ago, taylorannephoto said:

Okay I believe it is time for the moments in movies when I get most frustrated...

That's right it's time for This Week in Feminism.

I was delighted to hear an audience member mention things that I also wanted to mention, because one of my first points was, "Where are the fucking women?" But the response of the crew didn't satisfy me and here's why -

Yes, Hattie is a badass through and through. She was an operative for MI6 and went head to head with Luke Hobbs without even blinking an eye. She sacrificed herself so that Idris Elba wouldn't get the virus, and at the end of the day it was her plan that got the blood machine so that she could ultimately live. Definitely a badass. However, that doesn't actually answer the question. Hattie is one woman. To answer the question, "Where are the women?" with, "Well Hattie is a badass," implies that multiple women can't just be in scenes talking to each other because we already have the one woman being a badass and that's good enough right? They also mentioned the team of vigilante women lead by Eiza Gonzalez in Russia, but here's my problem with them - Only Eiza has any lines. There are 4 other women in this group and their only purpose for this movie is to look sexy in lingerie and be intimidating. That's not really showing any other badass women considering we never actually got to see them in action. The marketing for this movie completely hyped up Eiza's role and it really disappointed me that she didn't have anything better to do for a longer portion of the movie.

Michelle Rodriguez had posted after F8 that if this franchise didn't step up it's representation of women then she would leave the series, and I think with this movie they took one tiny baby step in the right direction. Now I know this movie is a spin-off and has nothing to do with the set of movies that Michelle was actually talking about because she's in the camp of "fuck Hobbs & Shaw" but it's still part of the series none the less. With Hattie being a total badass and being central to the plot instead of a side character I do think that they want women to be part of the story, but in my opinion, even though Hattie is a total badass, she's just a plot point she's not actually involved in her own story a la Natalie Portman in Thor: The Dark World. If you took that virus out of Hattie's blood she no longer becomes relevant to this story, and it still all resolves around Hobbs & Shaw more than likely doing the bulk of the work to get the virus away from Eteon. She's kidnapped twice to be rescued by the two men, and in the final climax fight of the whole movie she's regulated to sitting in the rain with a gun pointed at her head. To me, this isn't badass empowering writing. This is lazy "feminism" that is stuck in the early 2000s.

But honestly the thing that frustrated me the most is that this didn't even pass The Bechdel Test. It would've been so fucking easy for them to do. They had multiple named women who were literally standing in the same room together, but never once do any of them address each other, instead they talk to the men about things the other woman brought up instead.

  • The female guard with Helen Mirren doesn't have a name - Fail
  • Hattie is the only woman on her entire team - Fail
  • Eiza is the only named and speaking woman on her team - Fail
  • Hobb's daughter never speaks to the woman she is staying with - Fail
  • Hattie and Eiza stand face to face and only talk to Hobbs & Shaw - Fail
  • Hobbs's mother doesn't have a name - Fail
  • There are no lines between Helen Mirren and Hattie at the end of the movie - Fail

It's the simplest of things that in 2019 should literally be the bare minimum for writing female characters. I'm not asking for the entire story to be changed, because honestly the overarching thing doesn't bother me despite poking holes in the "baddassery" of it. But to not have two women even speak to each other when they're literally standing face to face discussing ultimate plans for how to get a blood machine is absolutely ridiculous.

Literally I just want women to be able to talk to each other about things not related to men. That would be grand.

I second all of this. Welcome back :)

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4 hours ago, topherwhatever said:

I'm sure that's the idea, but does it make any sense? 

Overcompensating - compensating too much. 

Undercompensating - not compensating enough. 

I'm pretty sure he's trying to say that his dick is more impressive than his cars. The usual hierarchy is dick size < car awesomeness. Here, he's saying car awesomeness < dick size. He's saying his dick is so big, he's using the cars to downplay the dick size. To overcompensate, we are providing an excess in Column A to make up for a deficit in Column B. To undercompensate, you would necessarily undercut Column A to make up for the excess in Column B. He's saying his dick size is soooooo excessive, the cars are less great than it. For his cars to overcompensate for a dick size, they'd have to be like made of unicorns and rainbows and hot chicks. 

I've gone cross-eyed. 

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2 minutes ago, WatchOutForSnakes said:

I second all of this. Welcome back :)

AcidicImpassionedHarpseal-size_restricte

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Some random observations:

-Idris Elba can smash through walls ‘n stuff cuz he’s a cyborg, but Vin Diesel can smash through a concrete wall (see Fast Five) because...?

-In the beginning, AFTER Idris Elba  kills a whole platoon of soldiers, his three henchmen roll up on their motorcycles and I thought they were gonna be in trouble for being late. 

-RULE OF THUMB: If you’re chasing someone in a car and you’re on a motorcycle, you WILL crash and fly off that thing. I learned that as kid in Never Say Never Again. (Conversely, if you’re ON a motorcycle and being chased, you will evade capture through an alleyway.) TFATF and Fast Five both reinforce this trope.

-The villain’s plot (make half the world bionic, genocide everyone else) seems like it’s half Thanos, half The Borg. 

-The running gag about going on three reminds me of a similar runner in Lethal Weapon 2. I guess take whatever you want from those movies. Nobody should watch Mel Gibson movies anymore. They belong to the alt-right now. 

-Whenever they touched on the recurring theme of Family, I could hear Vinnie Deez saying “Fam-Uh-Wee”

-This marks the first F&F movie where the comic relief mostly didn’t make me want to kill my self. 

-I didn’t need any of those cameos besides Helen Mirren and Rob Delaney. Why is Deadpool here?

-As set up in Fast Five, nitrous can make your car not only go faster but much heavier so it can pull stuff like vaults and choppers. 

-Momma Shaw’s prison jewelry must’ve cost a fortune in cigarettes. 

-I giggled when, after battling shirtless, Hobbs quickly puts on a shirt as he’s diving into the back of the pickup (because continuity is a priority even though it was nighttime three minutes ago). Guess he didn’t want to get chilly chasing choppers. *

 

*I was having some fun with alliteration there 

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On 8/16/2019 at 11:49 PM, RyanSz said:

I love how she's throwing herself into this role, which is basically her character from RED if she was just a complete criminal instead of an assassin. I did look at my phone during the start of the credits though, so did they show who the family looked at when they asked someone "how long they've been working at the prison" like Mirren had an inside man?

I believe that was a reference to Vanessa Kirby asking the guy who was supposed to watch her while the Rock was on the phone if he was new?

On 8/16/2019 at 10:57 PM, tomspanks said:

I still need to find a liquid pen.  So far I’ve tried the Elf, Sephora, and Marc Jacobs, but they don’t compare to kvd’s opacity, matte, or smudge-proof features.  And none of them had the same kvd brush tip. My friend said Fenty wasn’t matte enough, but said the Clinique one was working out for her. So I might give that a go next time because I really don’t wanna shell out the $ for a Tom Ford

I have the Fenty one because apparently I love to give money to Rihanna. It's good but I have very watery eyes my wing doesn't stay in place (since that is where I tear, around the corners). Otherwise fine.

Quote

There are no lines between Helen Mirren and Hattie at the end of the movie - Fail

... and I really wanted to see them together.

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11 hours ago, topherwhatever said:

I'm sure that's the idea, but does it make any sense? 

Overcompensating - compensating too much. 

Undercompensating - not compensating enough. 

Are we really trying to find sense/rationality in a Fast and Furious movie?

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On 8/16/2019 at 10:48 AM, taylorannephoto said:

Speaking of Owen Shaw - I feel like this franchise forgot that he existed. All those flashbacks and the way that Helen Mirren talks it's just always been Deckard and Hattie, but legit Owen Shaw was a character, and isn't that who actually killed Han? Or am I not remembering this whole story line properly?

So, I may be mis-remembering this, but I seem to recall a line where, possibly during the climactic beat ‘em up scene, Deckard blames Brixton for killing Owen, or getting him killed. If so, that kinda sucks. I mean Jason Statham’s entry point into this franchise—his character’s little brother, Owen—essentially gets erased out of existence with a throwaway line of dialog. R.I.P. Owen Shaw, I guess...

As much as I enjoyed the “chest math” that went into the scene where Hobbs and Shaw(s) escape in Deckard’s McClaren, I found it much more distressing that Hattie had to sit sandwiched between these two hulks in the cockpit of this fairly tight-quarters sports car. I’m typing this (slowly) on my iPad so I don’t even know how to include pictures of the interior of a McLaren 720c with this thing, but Google it and tell me if you think The Rock alone could fit comfortably inside one.

Tall mentions Brixton’s Weyland Corp. tattoo, and I thought I saw it too when watching this movie. I agree with Tall that this film now exists inside a shared universe with the Alien franchise, but... I want to take this one step further and posit the theory that the producers of this film, in a methodical hyper-meta gambit, are gradually trying to systematically dissolve the walls between every film franchise in the world so that the F&F franchise can exist in pretty much any and every film franchise it wants to. I know this sounds slim, but hear me out: we have that Weyland Corporation tattoo, Deckard’s mention of using a Mini for an Italian Job, “Black Superman” (and the cut line about Brixton being the “black James Bond”), Ryan Reynold’s essentially playing Deadpool, Han is the same character from Better Luck Tomorrow, etc. Add to this... No, wait. I just watched Under the Silver Lake last night, and that film apparently really rubbed off on me. Sorry. Sorry. Moving on...

Is Hobb’s daughter’s mother dead and was this already mentioned in a previous F&F film? Who took care of Hobb’s daughter when Hobb’s went out on missions/got imprisoned/beat asses like Cherokee drums in the previous films if he’s estranged from his extended family?

I’m convinced that Brixton’s motorcycle is the love child of Bumblebee and KITT from Knight Rider. It’s a place I go to now.

As much fun as this movie was, can we all just admit that nano-viruses are to action/spy movies what sky beams are to superhero movies?

My biggest takeaway from this movie? That the application (or lack thereof) of make up is very important. 

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