We all love Ellie Kemper. From The Office to Bridesmaids, her cheery smile has brightened big screens and now we're using her melodious voice to talk about pole dancing, coach punching, and fish advocating. Ellie has traveled from St. Louis to Princeton to New York to Los Angeles and now it's time for her to vacation in Sklarbro Country! Speaking of vacations, we're got an awesome band in the studio this week by the name of Vacationer whose island style and briefcase tapping are the perfect foil to Jesse Ventura who joins us to discuss his recent fisticuffs. If you live in Philadelphia, it's not too early to pick up tickets to see Randy and Jason at Helium on April 12-14. HENDERSON!
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Episode 87 — Curling Slam!
Started by Earwolf Admin, Mar 22 2012 11:05 PM
14 replies to this topic
#2
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Earwolf Staff
- LocationNew Jersey native. New to Los Angeles.
Posted 23 March 2012 - 02:19 AM
There must be soooo many hidden spy cameras on this goblin head.
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I write inappropriate things on Twitter - @JuliaEveHays.
#3
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- LocationLa Crosse, WI
Posted 23 March 2012 - 08:01 AM
I don't even bother to look for pickup curling games anymore. Too many brush-hogs that refuse to dish the stone...
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#5
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Posted 23 March 2012 - 09:17 PM
First, Ellie Kemper is ridiculously adorable. Second, in 20+ years spent in curling clubs, I've never heard anyone use the term "kizzle kazzle". Third, thought I'd offer some expert1 recommendations for future discussions of curling-themed pornography:
1. Female talent should repeatedly and loudly exhort their male partners to "Hurry Hard!"
2. Some title suggestions for a variety of genres:
Split the House
Double-Tap
Spinners (petite women)
Mixed Bonspiel (interracial)
8-Ender (reverse gangbang)
Top 12 (gay orgy)
3. Suggested names for male talent:
Skip Rock
The Hammer
"Shorty" Jenkins (ironic)
4. Use some or all of the following phrases:
"Oh yeah, give me the high hard one."
"I'm going to come through a tight port and bury my shooter in the back ring."
"Mmm… I want you to Sandra my Schmirler"2
1 Skipped the winning team in the 'C' Event of the 1992 University of Alberta Campus Recreation Mixed Funspiel
2 For use by advanced curling pornographers only: invoking the name of a deceased curler in sexual situations is considered indecent in most Canadian jurisdictions, and blasphemous in the province of Saskatchewan.
1. Female talent should repeatedly and loudly exhort their male partners to "Hurry Hard!"
2. Some title suggestions for a variety of genres:
Split the House
Double-Tap
Spinners (petite women)
Mixed Bonspiel (interracial)
8-Ender (reverse gangbang)
Top 12 (gay orgy)
3. Suggested names for male talent:
Skip Rock
The Hammer
"Shorty" Jenkins (ironic)
4. Use some or all of the following phrases:
"Oh yeah, give me the high hard one."
"I'm going to come through a tight port and bury my shooter in the back ring."
"Mmm… I want you to Sandra my Schmirler"2
1 Skipped the winning team in the 'C' Event of the 1992 University of Alberta Campus Recreation Mixed Funspiel
2 For use by advanced curling pornographers only: invoking the name of a deceased curler in sexual situations is considered indecent in most Canadian jurisdictions, and blasphemous in the province of Saskatchewan.
#6
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AKA Luke Henderson
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Posted 24 March 2012 - 05:32 AM
WOW! I loved this one. The curling talk and Meanwell's lawyer slayed me. You can really tell when the guys are having fun during a show. Great one.
#11
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Posted 25 March 2012 - 09:40 PM
Sweets and Meats, on 24 March 2012 - 02:11 PM, said:
they should clone Ellie Kemper....
I got five on it... I wonder if Anthony Michael Hall and uh... that other guy, are available (what am I saying? Of course they're available...)
#13
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Posted 26 March 2012 - 09:24 AM
Ellen Greene:
- was Audrey I in Little Shop of Horrors, a role she perfected on Broadway before she was asked to bring it to the screen
- was the 'cool' teacher in the cult teen classic Pump Up the Volume
- guests and features frequently (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0338746/)
- worked most recently on Pushing Daisies and the Young and the Restless
That movie was all about the impressive curves for 10 y.o. me, too, but still, Ellen Greene has given us plenty to say "DAMN" about.
- was Audrey I in Little Shop of Horrors, a role she perfected on Broadway before she was asked to bring it to the screen
- was the 'cool' teacher in the cult teen classic Pump Up the Volume
- guests and features frequently (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0338746/)
- worked most recently on Pushing Daisies and the Young and the Restless
That movie was all about the impressive curves for 10 y.o. me, too, but still, Ellen Greene has given us plenty to say "DAMN" about.
