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Willi B

Ailments you have fallen victim to during the absence of Bob:

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Peep Measles.

 

Trick Knee.

 

Chaffed Chin Disorder.

 

Restless Arm Syndrome.

 

Wrinkle Rash.

 

Rug Rash.

 

Road Rash II For Sega Genesis.

 

Bob's Burgers.

 

Cheeseburgers.

 

Septupal Bypass Surgery.

 

Stomach Staple Shits.

 

Ducca-derived Withdrawal Syndrome.

 

Chronic Pain Syndrome.

 

China Syndrome.

 

Back Brace Bruises.

 

Easter Bunny Allergy.

 

Pancreatic Pleurisy.

 

Dyptheric DiscomBOBulation Disorder.

 

And, of course, Duccanosis.

 

 

Please come back, Bob. I cannot afford the medications for these ailments and I think the mobile home remedy I took yesterday has led to an ingrown intestinal infection.

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In Bob's absence I've developed a nasty case of solitude-induced syphilis.

 

Any other Affirmation Nation listeners suffering from new afflictions? I think Bob would want us to be here for one another. Though this may lead to us spreading communicable diseases among the fan base, which is a risk I'm willing to take.

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Road Rash II For Sega Genesis.

 

 

 

This one killed me. Well done, sir.

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It seems I have acquired more "health opportunities" since the absence of Bob.

 

Mother's Milkworm.

 

Roof Shingles.

 

Wood Piles.

 

Gomer Pyles.

 

Floral Allergy.

 

Loneliness induced Lethargy.

 

Introduction to Geology II.

 

Penile Psychosis.

 

Vaginal Psychosis.

 

Trick or Treat-a-nosis.

 

Baby Bumps.

 

Menstrual Mumps.

 

Sugar Lumps.

 

Lotto Fever.

 

Hay Fever.

 

Ho Fever.

 

I wave my hands in the air like I just don't care.

 

Induced Labor.

 

Induced Seizures.

 

Pizza Induced Palpatations.

 

Though this is challenging to me, I was happy to find out that my Wrinkle Rash is clearing up. But I would feel dishonest if I did not mention the worsening of my Duccanosis.

 

I hope you all are faring better with your ailments.... especially one Mr. Bob Ducca.

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Testicular shrinkage

 

Toe nail farts

 

Elbow anal leakage

 

Blue eye balls

 

Pink knee hig sock

 

Blackened Wooden stool

 

 

Come back to us Bob!

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Symptomitis.

 

Droopy drawers.

 

Clown cheek.

 

Navel battles.

 

Insertion hysteria.

 

Corneal prisms.

 

Ectoplasm poisoning.

 

Intestinal solidification.

 

Gummi beard.

 

Cough Lundgren.

 

Narcophelia.

 

Kleptomancy.

 

Arachnipolio.

 

Scrotal walleting.

 

Pin chin.

 

Fly eye.

 

Rose nose.

 

Shrimp lips.

 

Bullet tongue.

 

I can't believe it's not diverticulitis.

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Cough Lundgren = excellent!

 

I heard that if you don't sanitize your hands after an encounter of Cough Lundgren, you could end up with a case of Sty Stallone.

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I have actually developed a few issues directly related to the absence of Affirmation Nation podcasts. These maladies include:

 

Irritable Bob Syndrome

Earwolf Infections

Scritti Politti Titty

Tooth Duccay

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Peanut butter sand trapped

Jelly Bean Bed Sores

Spanish Fly Fishing

Pack rat-a-tat-tattle tale

Sticky syrup fingers

Bobbing for reruns

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Since the absence of the illustrious Mr. Bob Ducca, I have come to suffer from the following ailments:

 

Type Two Silver Tongue Syndrome

 

Turf Toe

 

Mazel Toe

 

Stubbed Toe

 

Gout

 

Hitler Hands

 

Advanced Sagging Mattress Disorder

 

Kidney Stones

 

Kidney Beans

 

Acute Renal Failure

 

Lupus Nephertiti-itis

 

Ingrown Toenail

 

Ingrown Hairline

 

Pancreatitis

 

Pancakeatitis

 

Pancake Tits

 

Outraged Bile Ducts

 

Fallen Expectations

 

Distressed Duodenum

 

Depressed Breathing

 

Mirthless Humours

 

Raging Bull Fever

 

Whining Cough

 

I also suffer from Broken Goatee and an acute case of Scratch Neck.

Edited by Handinpants

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Absence of Bob Concerns are as follows:

Antithesized Buffoon Cloppers

 

Drenched Ear Flap-floppers

 

Grandiose Hench Itchers

 

Jet-Kite Lollipoopers

 

Mitchell Nossled Odor-poppers

 

Quail-Raised Snake Trippers

 

Uninvited Venom Washers

 

Xanthic Yellow Zabaglioners

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I've had a few movie ailments I want to discuss with Bob.

 

Children of the Corns

Citizen Pains

Scar Wars

Ghostblisters

The Big Tennis Elbowski

Night of the Lepusrocy

Cinema Parasito

I'm Here to Chew Bubblegum and Kick-Ass and I'm All Out of Blood Thinner

Open the Pod Bay Doors Halitosis

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Sunken Lips

Chapped Slips

Disced Nips

Loosely Shipped Lists

 

Shaken Phlo-Bot's lobotomies

Swift-wicker-sweatered Slick-buttered sweetened jelly buns

Ringed Worm-Hole-a-Hooping Jumping Jack-and-Jilled Jenny Marbles

Leaking Shower Bed-Head

Fungal Inflection

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Here are a few podcast related ailments I have been suffering from as of late:

 

STD with Marc Maron

Poor Quality of This American Life

Judge John Hodgkin's Lymphoma

Comedy Pang Pangs

The Hurtist

Varicose Vinyl Cafe

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I have a few podcast ailments as well:

 

Crashing into TJ Hooker

This Shriek with Scary Killer

You farted!

Smelmania

Eardrop-ings

Castlerats

 

I also found some remedies/support groups I'd like to share:

 

Swilling with Dentures Hour

Improve 2 Humans: self help with Matt Better

Professor Gets His Cast Off...

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A Few More Podcast related Illnesses

 

Scarbro County

SMODclap

The Sound of Young Amnesia

The Pod Deaf Tompkast

Apprehension Nation

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Here are a series of seasonal medicines and remedies that I hope will get you through the holiday season.

 

Turkey rubbed with aloe and St. John's wart

Mashed Potatoes with green onion and echinacea

Cranberry Sauce Enema

Green Bean Cassarole with Durkey Fried Onions Therapy

Viagravy

and, of course,

Nyquil Nog

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The new year has me thinking of past failed resolutions... well, I've begun to re purpose some items around the house.

 

Treadmill Clothes Hanger

Health food door stopper

Left over cigarette pencils

Stack of books- book shelf

well intentioned neglect cape

 

So far, these are all more trouble than they are worth... except the neglect cape which is a keeper.

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Forgive me if I'm off topic but, my friend and I were watching the film Arlington Road (basically about terrorism/terrorist attacks) recently and there was a character that sounded like Bob Ducca. So we started thinking:

 

(In Bob Ducca voice) "I've been affected by the following terrorist attacks:

 

Bombing of USS Cole

Unibomber

Unicycle Bomber

Anthrax

Lorax

Extreme Islamic attacks

Extreme Balsam attacks

Extreme Balsamic Vinaigrette attacks

Flashmobbing

9/11

7/11

411

Trojan Horse

Pan Am Flight 103

Pamela Anderson Flight 103

Open Mic Bombing"

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It's been rough. I know I myself have been dealing with:

 

Lime Disease

Olympic Phlegm

Mile High Clubfoot

Dishpan Hands

Dry Skin

Wet Skin

Mole Skin

The San Fransisco Teat

Rubber Nipple

Battle of the Network Stars Flashbacks

NarcoPepsi (only when I drink certain sodas though)

And an incresingly worse case of Katy Periodontitis

 

My thanks to my fishermen friends who sent me a get whale soon card. It only hurts when I lagh, so a card that terrible was delightfully painless.

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I've just come here to recommend these comedy-related medications and treatments.

 

 

Kids Aspirin in the Hall

Futuroma Therapy

Cheers Candling

The Daily Dose with Jon Stewart

Chicken Soup with Joel McHale

The Colbert Medical Report

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Cold sore

Hot sore

Lukewarm sore

Cole Stratton Sore

Vitiligo

Vitilyougo

Vitilwego

Recreational adult diaper rash

Gluten Free allergy

wheat belly

bean belly

corn belly

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned belly

Google Glass

Google Ass

Beef curtain recall

Tyrannosaus Reczema

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I'd been suffering from a couple ailments lately. Even my doctor's couldn't help me. I've been suffering from the following:

 

Big Toe Dysplasia

iPhone Finger Shuffling Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Waffle Ass

Vestigial Tail Taint

First Floor Vertigo

Stratego

Diverticulitis

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

 

and lastly.... multiple nerdgasm disorder.

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