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Episode 154 — Finger Guns

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With the Spring 2012 semester coming to a close, we are contractually obligated to have our 15 year-old intern Marissa Wompler visit. I cannot reiterate how much this is not our choice, especially now that she's accompanied by her faculty mentor Miss Listler. We try to make the best of it with the return of Jukebox Jury and a game of What Am I Thinking?, but try as we might we can't seem to pry Marissa away from her constant need to yell and discuss her changing body. Once again, our apologies.

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OMG YES. Yesterday I watched the pilot and first episode of Best Friends Forever and they were great!

I also loved these ladies on their HDTGM appearances. And of course Wompler is a CBB fav. Can't wait to give this a listen after I finish my taxes (which I forgot was a thing)!

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Is this not working for anyone else? It's not loading correctly but I can hear the previews perfectly.

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It looks like Libsyn's player is under maintenance but as of right now the streaming player is working fine!

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It's weird... working on Firefox, but not Chrome... lol. It seems to be working afterall though... so all is good.

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No wonder so many dudes want to stick it in, just through the first half hour, Marissa is about to pass Cyber Thug and Gellman as the greatest guest ever. The CDR/CBB intern Whomps up the Jams.

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When Saucerman says "go show up to Jessica's house to record the shows" at 13:31, he is of course referring to Jessica Fletcher: since Marissa disappears so abruptly and completely from her intern duties, it will require the wit and wisdom of the Western world's greatest detective to find out where she is.

 

Then, in a dizzying series of events, Saucerman and Fletcher must spring Wompler from detention, get her to Fletcher's home studio (Jessica Fletcher also records award-winning audio books), and of course explore and explain the mysterious death of Engineer Dustin (Harris Wittels did it).

 

Do I get a No-Prize?

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I think this might help answer some questions raised in this episode:

 

"We were both young when I first saw you.

I close my eyes and the flashback starts:

I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

 

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.

See you make your way through the crowd

And say, "Hello,"

Little did I know...

 

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles,

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

And I was crying on the staircase

Begging you, "Please don't go"

And I said...

 

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.

I'll be waiting; all that's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes".

 

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.

We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew

So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.

Oh, oh.

 

'cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

But you were everything to me,

I was begging you, "Please don't go"

And I said...

 

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.

I'll be waiting; all that's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes".

 

Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.

This love is difficult but it's real.

Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes".

 

Oh, oh.

 

I got tired of waiting

Wondering if you were ever coming around.

My faith in you was fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town.

And I said...

 

Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone.

I keep waiting for you but you never come.

Is this in my head? I don't know what to think.

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...

 

Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.

I love you, and that's all I really know.

I talked to your dad ‒ go pick out a white dress

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes".

 

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

 

'cause we were both young when I first saw you"

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Aww yeah. I've been watching Best Friends Forever and I am pleasantly surprised. Although Jessica's character can get a little grating at times on the show, but I think that's the point.

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I watched the "BFF" pilot, and liked it well enough. But every time St. Clair spoke, I could only hear Marissa Wompler talking about boners.

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HE DID IT! HE DID IT AGAIN!!! another fantastic rendition of wipe out! i honestly never thought id hear it again..dreams do come true everyone! great job

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JSC is just . . . wow. So, so, so good. Too good, if you ask me. Suspiciously good.

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I'm starting to doubt the quality of the education Marissa Wompler is getting at old Marina Del Ray High School.

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Great episode! Happy to have been a part of it (that Rachel was this moi). Marissa's enthusiasm is contagious.

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Old gutterballs needs to ask to see those titties politely so he can finally hit a strike.

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So if Marissa is supposed to do 40 hours a week for her internship, and she's been on four CBB episodes so far, something tells me our favorite intern is going to be 15-years-old for a hell of a long time!

 

I'm really happy we received another rendition of Wipe Out this week. Let's just keep womping that jam up through the summah season.

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I'm starting to doubt the quality of the education Marissa Wompler is getting at old Marina Del Ray High School.

 

Indeed; in four appearances on the show, Marissa has fallen from being a Child Genius on track to graduate early to being in a program that sounds suspiciously similar to Special Ed! Maybe that Andy Richter episode left some mental scarring?

 

Regardless, another great appearance from Ms. Wompler.

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I don't know why everyone is so confused about the age continuity of M. Wompler. In the first appearance of Wompler she was 14. The second appearance, Feb 14, 2011, she had just turned 15, when it was still CDR. Everyone knows that all episodes of CBB are recorded a year in advance, so this episode was recorded April of 2011, only a few months after her 15th birthday.

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I can't decide if a full episode called "Finger Guns" without any mention of the fact that finger guns naturally result in finger banging is a case of tasteful restraint or a tragically missed opportunity.

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