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Episode 114.5 — Sklarbro County 19

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Put on your Jayme Johns and get ready for your mid-week snack on today’s Sklarbro County! The set-up master 2000, Tom Segura, returns to talk about his new album “White Girls With Cornrows,” his favorite black names, and how his father writes to various McDonalds to commend or criticize their service. Dan Van Kirk brings in crazy stories including; replacement referee night, a guy who goes apeshit at a McDonalds, and a man who gets beat by his own prosthetic leg. Plus, Mark Wahlberg leaves us a message about his idea for The Replacement Refs movie.

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Such a great podcast. Jason, Randy and Dan could not be more wrong about one detail: whatever you've heard about the "classiness" of Green Bay fans is vastly overrated. Worst collection of semi-human drunken gas huffing rubes ever. YES, I'm a Vikings fan and I'll own this. Anyone with allegiances to the NFC North—and Dan Van Kirk should know this as a Bears fan—can tell you that this assortment of disgusting mutants should all be force-sterilized and caged for their own good!

 

Remember when Randy Moss "mooned" them; and the meltdown Joe Buck had about it because he thought Randy was pretending to take a dookie with the ball? Moss did that because of the ass-first treatment those fans deliver to visiting teams and fans behind the scenes. If Moss had actually removed his pants and dropped an actual deuce on the field he would have classed up the joint. But instead we get commentators and ill-informed outsiders treating Lambeau as if it was God's gift to football (a friend of mine says "as if it was god-damned Uluru!"). Do not be fooled!

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More Tom Segura!! We're pretty lucky in Denver, our fans seems to be pretty calm. I will tell you that the worst fans I ever encountered were Eagles fans. I went to a Cowboys game on Christmas Day four years ago in Dallas and while there were maybe 1,000 Eagles fans in the whole place, we all thought we were going to die. In the bathroom there would be twenty Cowboys fans and one Eagles fan and we would all get a little closer to each other because the one would scream and just piss on the ground or in the sink while offering to, I think, either stab or rape us, I wasn't clear.

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I have a friend who is a neonatal nurse so she gets great baby name stories. Best one:

Woman comes in has already had two kids:

D'Best (not sure of spelling but pronounced Da Best)

and D'Greatest

 

Third kid is born, and is named ...

 

D'Anthony

 

I cant think of a better name and situation to give a younger brother a inferiority complex from birth.

 

(Not Florida btw, central Illinois)

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