CodyTidmore

WE'RE PODCAAAASSSTTIIIIIINNGGGG!!

We're snapchatting! We're snapchatting! We're snapchatting!

It's not the number of breaths we take, but the number of people whose breath we take away by strangling them with our bare hands.

If at first you don't succeed... Masturbate.

You can punch kids as hard as you want as long as you're wearing those Hulk Hands.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll die alone floating through space because stars and moons are far apart.

Sir, I don't mind that you left your kids in your truck. I would just like you to be a responsible decision maker and remove that spoiler.

It's 12am. Do you know where your kids are? Do you know their names? Their ages? Do you even have kids? Where are your pants? Sir?... Sir?

I'mma ventriloquist, dummy. (This where we submit catchphrases for Jeff Dunham?)

The rain in Spain falls mainly from Brian Posehn's main vein.

There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance, but there's a hole in the Texaco bathroom where truckers suck each other's pee-pees.

The rain in Spain falls mainly from my main vein.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in my mother, wear a rubber, you sick fuck.

If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, then to get my Mom pregnant my Dad's dick must be out of this world.

They say it's Hostess which has the mostess, but Little Debbie most definitely has the moistest.