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DaveSheir

Members
  • Content count

    36
  • Joined

  • Last visited

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About DaveSheir

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 09/23/1986

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://haintbluetheband.com

Profile Information

  • Location
    Baltimore, MD
  • Favorite Earwolf Podcast
    Creating sculptures of famous historical figures out of dry ramen noodles. Practicing for eating contests but never competing. Asking random strangers on their phones if they're playing Pokemon Go. Oh and cats.
  1. Hey diddle, diddle the cat played the fiddle and immediately went viral and was signed by a major record label.
  2. Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man... kind of a boring asshole.
  3. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want! I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. I just want to borrow the god damn cup of sugar, Ted!
  4. Let the record show that those tents and that fire were there long before my client reached the site. This is a clear case of encampment.
  5. Don’t call it a come back, that was just premature ejaculation.
  6. In a “Junior” type medical miracle, Jack Johnson and Sufjan Stevens are now the proud parents of Surfjam Stevens.
  7. In a “Junior” type medical miracle, Jack Johnson and Sufjan Stevens are now the proud parents of Surfjam Stevens.
  8. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill came back, no sign of Jack and no investigation was conducted.
  9. Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke his head. The monkeys learned nothing and one by one they died.
  10. They say I'm my own worst enemy which is disappointing because I'd hoped my worst enemy would be more attractive
  11. Please understand that this new obsession of yours, collecting vintage jumpsuits, is inherently classist. They'll see right through you, cavorting around town, self-assuredly cosplaying the proletariat.
  12. Peter Peter, pumpkin eater had a wife and didn’t feed her so she left his pumpkin eating ass.
  13. When my girlfriend said she wanted to tie the knot, I was nervous but once she tied me to the bed that’s when things started to get really kinky.
  14. Hey man, I don’t want to pass the buck. I spent hours hunting and skinning this thing and you didn’t help at all.
  15. To make a long story short, I was born and, someday, I will die.
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