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Perhaps the most revolting image in HDTGM film history?

I feel so unwell after seeing this. I don't know why but this gnome is so utterly disgusting and upsetting looking. Its like if Yoda and a hairless cat mated and that child got fillers and botched plastic surgery.

Also, while making that compilation I noticed Gnorm's kryptonite: glass doors. Bullets are no big deal, but two of his escapes are foiled by transparent bonk walls.

One thing that drives me crazy about this type of “fish-out-of-water” movie is when the character does things that are so beyond stupid that they can’t be explained by cultural differences. I mean Gnorm is a relatively intelligent creature, right, with (at-least) bi-lingual language skills and the obvious ability to use tools, clothing, etc. So there is absolutely a 0% chance that Gnorm would try to shoot someone with the broad-side of a gun. Aside form the fact that he certainly understands the concept of pointing at something, and he has seen numerous people fire guns already, it is prohibitively difficult to grab the handle of a gun sideways and pull the trigger in this manner without being purposeful in your idiocy. Similarly. there is a scene where a speeding car is barreling directly down on Gnorm and he just stares at it as if to say, “Well, I don’t know what that things is, so let me stand here and find out.” How is this explainable? Are we to believe that In “Down-World” there is no concept of one thing smashing into another thing?

I made a compilation of Gnorm's assaults, because yeah!

The still of Gnorm in the tubi preview was enough to really turn me off the movie. It grossed me out. I appreciate how well made and acted Gnorm was by the puppeteers but Gnorm was was too much. Very Mac and Me kind of nauseated. I agree with everything they said with the actors; they really were great.

Again, I contend that he was originally told to or decided to play the character as a cokehead.

I have to admit there is one shot that I found rather moving - when Gnorm goes to the beach and sees the ocean for the first time. But completely out of place tonally with the rest of the film.

This is yet another HDTGM film in which people are far too blase about seeing an alien/monster/creature, and here, treating him like a "freak" human, but not immediately contacting all media outlets, government and private science institutions, etc.

Mario Kart makes me fart

The lack of investigation after a man is blown up mere feet from a children’s play area was ridiculous. Even though Jerry Orbach was the secret bad guy (which surprised me with the reveal by the way) - they all left like an hour after an explosion! What happened to the body?!?!

Just like Jason, I laughed out loud at the CPR attempt on the corpse. It was so smart, and completely surprising. I’m laughing again just remembering it.

Don't forget the meat hook to the perineum! Is the coup de grace on Jerry Orbach's junk a bite or a punch? Considering the speed and force Gnorm can tunnel through concrete with those rock gloves, it's either the former or he was showing remarkable restraint — Gnorm could have straight-up Bone-Tomahawked him if he wanted.

Sequel idea; Philoso-Raptor vs Veloci-Pastor. Logic vs faith. Whoever wins...we win, cause dinosaurs! Also no excuse for a crummy velociraptor costume, youtube prank videos have been doing them for years (the "cheat" to making even a cheap dino costume look better is the tail, its just about getting the tail waving in the air). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmxQSwwTRqU&t=36s&ab_channel=ramenturtle

I might also add that I think there's a little bit of Jonas from 2:22 in how Velocipastor looks. Overall I think this movie was the right amount of winking, especially in comparison to things that tried to force it like Birdemic 2, The Neighbors, or any Sharknado after the second one. I'd put this more in the vein of Black Dynamite where it plays into the tropes of so-bad-they're-good movies as that had done with Blacksploitation. Hearing that the sequel will have a couple million dollar budget has me concerned it will follow the same path as Birdemic 2 where it tried catching lightning twice, but leaned so hard into the hokiness that made people enjoy the first that it toppled over. As for the discussion of sauna beds, all I can say is be careful in using them and having someone there to check on you in case you fall asleep in one, because you will not like what you look like once you get out after you've been wrapped in one for a couple hours:

Feathers make them more scary. Birds are mean. My sister got attacked by a swan and they don’t have teeth. Plus I know from comic characters like Archangel and Falcon that feathers can be used like projectile knives. That’s just science.

We have a new champion for cheapest movie! This, Sleepaway Camp ($350,000) and Chopping Mall ($800,000) are the only HDTGM movies so far under the $1 million mark. I really did not think that there would have been an episode on a movie under $100K, but there we are.

I've only watched about half of the movie but here's a few things I want to address... "Feed a fever, starve a cold." That's the wrong way around. It's "feed a cold, starve a fever." Now was this lazy writing or did Nam-Vet Priest deliberately get it the wrong way around because he somehow intuited that Fr. Doug was now part dinosaur? Because dinosaurs were cold blooded and their metabolism works in almost the opposite way to ours. So by switching around the adage was Nam-Vet Priest letting slip that he knew Fr. Doug is part reptile or was it caused by the PTSD he no doubt suffered after his special lady was liquidised all over his face in Nam? "Dinosaurs never existed and even if they did I don't transform into one!" Besides being an amazing line of dialogue this kinda implies that Catholics don't believe in dinosaurs which we all know isn't true. A mistranslation in the Bible leads many people to think that Jesus had a problem with Tax Collectors whereas the truth is he had issue with T-Rex Collectors - the big game hunters of their day. The Confessional When Fr. Doug kills the pimp in confession those are the roomiest confessionals ever. There's a standing lamp behind the pimp! I'm only used to the confessionals I know from Ireland and maybe everything is bigger in America but standing lamps seems a bit excessive even for you guys. Other quick things: in Nam did many US soldiers wear jeans and carry shotguns? The drinking from chalices was great. If Nam-Vet Priest tried his hand at the clergy AGAIN after coming home then it meant he was already in a seminary (or Priest College as it's properly called), left, met a girl, went to thoroughly convincing Vietnam and then after his sweetheart phase changed all over him decided to go back home and give being a priest another go. Finally the priest outfits are the shoddiest pieces of shit ever. Look at that collar - it's like someone stitched it while wearing the Dinosaur costume!

I finally got around to watching this tonight because it's been on HBO for a couple weeks. I don't think I've hatewatched a movie as intensely as I did this one. Read my signature for my review of this fucking garbage.