Jump to content
đź”’ The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... Ă—

Proposition Phil

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    50

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Proposition Phil

  3. Posted

    I swear the second they said double mirror I immediately thought of double rainbow. I know you guys dont believe me and I honestly don't care, but it's the truth so take it or leave it. And also for the people who aren't as in tune with viral videos as I am, when Hayes said "Damn Charlie" it was a mashup of "Charlie Bit My Finger" and "Damn Daniel" and it was very funny even though no one laughed in the studio.

    • Like 15

  9. Posted

    Hayes studies the newspaper, looking for somewhere to go this weekend. The new movies all received bad reviews. Jerry Seinfeld is in town, but it’s sold out. A play could be interesting. He’s heard of Hello Dolly but doesn’t know anything about it. It’s been a while since Hayes has tried something new, and it’s been a while since he’s had time to spend with himself. He decides on the play and realizes he can make the next show if he heads out now. He slips on his shoes, musses his hair, and does a quick rinse with mouthwash. Tonight will be fun.

     

    At the theatre, Hayes gets a seat in the middle of a row. He usually likes to sit on the end, but he’s trying not to let the discomfort make him anxious. He looks around, wondering who will occupy the seats next to his. He begins hoping for someone attractive or nice to talk to, but realizes it’s foolish. Besides he’s not ready to get into another relationship yet.

     

    Hayes ends up seated next to an affectionate French couple on one side and, on the other, a 20-year-old kid who wants to leave from the second he sits down. Hayes wonders why he even attended, but decides it’s not worth thinking about; there’s no use trying to make sense of this ridiculous person. The house lights dim just as Hayes begins to seriously consider getting a look at the refreshments in the lobby. They’re probably no good anyway, he thinks. Ooh, I can check them out an intermission. This realization leaves Hayes smiling to himself, thinking about cookies, when the play begins.

     

    Intermission. The house lights come up. Hayes stands up to exit the row. The 20-year-old next to him is sleeping. Hayes wonders if he’s here for a class assignment or if he perhaps has a relative in the play. He stops himself before making any further guesses. He doesn’t want to allow himself to obsess over something so insignificant. That never helps anything, he thinks. His mind jumps to a memory with Sean. When they held hands walking to Sean’s car after spending the weekend together. Before it all went wrong. Hayes gave Sean his gloves because he said he was cold and it was all Hayes had to offer him. He hoped Sean still had those gloves. He hoped Sean thought of him when he looked at them. At the concessions tray, Hayes takes a snickerdoodle and fills a small paper cup with coffee. He doesn’t care how it tastes. He just wants something new to focus on.

     

    Hayes moves himself down the row and sits down in his seat, this time taking notice of the couple seated next to him. He can’t help but admire their unabashed affection toward one another. Maybe you have to be able to let go in front of others in order to truly be happy in your relationship. I never thought I could do that – the house lights go down. Hayes quickly finishes his thought, while aware that the plays dialogue will have more to offer him poetically. But maybe I should, he finishes.

     

    The play lets out and Hayes decides to wait in his seat while the audience exits. There’s no reason to stand around waiting when he can sit instead. He remembers he has a quarter of his snickerdoodle in his jacket pocket. He takes it out and eats it lazily, allowing the crumbs to fall where they may. He watches the audience exiting the theatre, looking for someone to think about. An old woman with her granddaughter. An old man and his wife. I guess a lot of elderly people go to the theatre. Then he finds a man who looks enough like Sean to stir his emotions. He wants to feel this right now. He wants to miss Sean and to regret all that happened between them. He focuses on this man and takes note of all the differences between he and Sean. He’s around Sean’s height, but he stands straighter. His eyes are darker, his lips fuller. But he looks kind. He looks kind and I want him to love me. Hayes brushes the crumbs off of his shirt. It’s time to go. He wakes up the 20-year-old sleeping next to him and exits the row, having accomplished all that he’d hoped to.

     

    I would like this more if it turned out that the sleeping guy was Sean.

    • Like 5

  10. Posted

    Man, my day is off to a rough start. You know that feeling when you try to throw a battery into the river cause it says it is charged but then how come your phone doesn't work and you slip on a wet patch of grass and fall on your belly then slide down the bank and the rough stones pull down your pants and underwear and you dunk right in the water but your ankles are all swollen cause you ate a big pile of salt so you are having a hard time getting your top half out of the water and you end up floating past the local community college with your little tushie bobbing up and down and the firemen (who are real angry to see you again) gotta fish you out at the next bridge with a long pole and after they towel you off and send you on your way you realize the battery was for your old phone that you dropped in the river the last time you were Tossing Electronics and not your new phone which was just in your pocket but now lives at the river bottom? That's the kind of day I am having.

     

     

    That's ridiculous

    • Like 6

  13. Posted

    “He continues to call himself the greatest artist of all time. The whole time? All of the time? The whole time. Time magazine? Hammer time? Nap time. Nap time? Bath time! Space-time continuum?”—Kid Fury disputing Kanye West’s assertion that he’s the “greatest artist of all time,”

     

    Oh man I need to listen to this podcast

  16. Posted

    The boys are right that it's nice to watch gangs with all tough white people and to travel back in time to when it was only white people, but I think they forgot fantasy worlds where it's all white people. Normal white people, short white people, short fat white people and white people with pointy ears and the only other guys they have to worry about are the filthy, stupid, violent orcs. Now that's a true fantasy.

    • Like 2

  20. Posted

    But have you seen those social experiments they do now on youtube, you can't seriously pretend like those aren't a force for good? Especially when they have hot babes in them. My outlook on homeless people was totally flipped by some of those social experiments

     

    I don't like a lot of those. When a hot ripped guy goes up to girls and grabs their ass or tries to kiss them or get their number and stuff it's no problem, but when I do it, well I haven't actually tried, but I don't think they'd appreciate it. I only like the ones where they go pick fights with black people.

     

    It did blow my mind when that homeless guy shared his pizza though.

    • Like 3

  23. Posted

    My favorite uncle died a couple of years ago. He was some kind of ex-mercenary action hero. When he got old he started selling RVs. He used to play video games with me, and he bought me Morrowind when I was a lil boy. He always played as a character named Qwerty. When he died I got all of his DVDs and games. He had the worst fucking taste in movies and I lost all respect that I ever had for him. He owned "The Last Airbender", both "Ghost Riders", and " Green Lantern!"

     

    Q, W, E, R ,Y and T are all very close on the PC keyboard that I have. Maybe that is why your uncle chose that name.

    • Like 2
×