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Cockney Mackem

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Posts posted by Cockney Mackem

  1. Posted

    In case anyone is interested in this kind of thing, I've started my own amateur film podcast called Double Reel. I've just released the second episode, which includes a discussion on Tarantino and Silver Surfer, how close he got to making a film of it, would he still do it, what would it be like? A lot of speculation obviously but if you like geeky film stuff you might like it.

    • Like 1

  2. Posted

    16 hours ago, RyanSz said:

    Oh there's definitely an edge of a person who didn't reach the heights they were hoping for going after those who did in their opinion, especially after hearing from her former partner who produced the film with her how their partnership imploded shortly after the movie and book came out. While NBK is no perfect film, I think it's made solely on the various characters in it rather than the peyote fueled ramblings of the director. It's an odd thing as despite what the story is, which is a condemnation of modern media and then celebrity culture, the characters are fantastic on their own with amazing, if not over the top, performances from two leads as well as Robert Downey Jr. Rodney Dangerfield, Tommy Lee Jones, and Tom Sizemore. As for Apt Pupil, that was one I enjoyed for the performances of the leads, especially Ian McKellan, even though it is a very watered down adaptation of the source material.

    As for QT's final movie, I don't know what it could or should be but at this point I don't think it should be something like a TV show adaptation, especially given how fandom reactions can get to anything that strays even the slightest from the perceived canon and style. And with how many things he's talked about making  over the years, I'd love to see the Kill Bride movie that he's talked about.

    Also if there was ever a person that has a filmography made for HDTGM, it's Hamsher's former partner Don Murphy who was the producer for Double Dragon, the entire Transformer series, League of Extraordinary Gentleman, and Splice, among others.

    How serious do you think QT is about stopping after 10 films?

  4. Posted

    Kind of off-topic, but I know there's a few comic book fans and Marvel aficionados on here.

    I was reading about film projects that never took off and one of them was about Tarantino. Now he talks a lot about films he'd like to make and most of them never got last the "mentioning them one in an interview" stage. But apparently in the 90s he wrote a screenplay for Silver Surfer and submitted it to the film company that held the rights, but was turned down.

    Has anyone heard about this? Is there anywhere that has more details on that script or how close it got to being made at all?

  7. Posted

    Fun fact: Ewan McGregor tells a story of how he and Christian Bale had to film a rooftop sex scene where the director and camera crew were positioned on the next building. There were instructions beforehand but once they were, so to speak, up there, they were on their own.

    So Ewan and Christian got on with it, and did their sexy acting for what seemed like a very long time. They then thought, "well they must have enough footage now" and Ewan turned to the next rooftop and shouted to the crew "Was that OK!?!?"

    At which point they saw that the director and crew had already packed up and left.

    • Haha 5

  8. Posted

    1 hour ago, Smigg. said:

    So, let's carry on the discussion.  What sports did you do?  

    I did:
    - Rugby, I played prop forward as well as an all encompassing "as soon as he gets the ball, fucking twat him"
    - Football, (actual football, not the armoured rugby football), I was a goalkeeper
    - Cricket, where I was labelled by one trainer "The most aggressive batsman I have ever witnessed in my 20 years coaching this sport"
    - Various throwing sports
    - MMA, I didn't ever get to fight because of injuries, but I know some stuff
    - Muay Thai, see above

    Some of these references to European sports might confuse our American friends so I'll provide some additional explanations for mine.

     

    Rugby: I was my team's Hooker, which meant I was paid to sleep with my teammates to keep up their morale

    Soccer: I was the left winger, so I was responsible for ensuring all the players were unionised and had adequate social security

    Cricket: my speciality was leg breaks. My teammates were each trained in treating different types of injuries

    Darts: there was no one better than me at finishing on a double. I wasn't bad at drinking the beers as well

    • Like 1

  9. Posted

    On 1/27/2020 at 7:38 PM, CaptainAmazing said:

    Went down a rabbit hole on this in the "Bad Movie Recommendations" forum a while back and the thread finally surfaced again, allowing me to post it here. (So that's why there's not a lot of terribly new stuff on here). I've noticed that a lot of the movies that they do fall into certain categories, like the following:

    1. Something that was aiming absurdly high and failed so miserably (Gods of Egypt, The Jazz Singer remake, Battlefield Earth)

    2. Something that was aiming low and still failed miserably (Howling 2, Sleepaway Camp, Star Wars Christmas Special)

    3. Trying to rip off something else and failing so miserably (Mac & Me, Beautiful Creatures, Congo)

    4. Weak celebrity vehicles, especially those with someone already famous for something else "looking to get into acting" (Crossroads, Spiceworld, Kazaam)

    5. Attempts to take an existing franchise (not always already a film one) "In a different direction" (Superman IV, Halloween III, Super Mario Brothers)

    6. Notorious bombs/duds (Gigli, Stop or my Mom will Shoot, Batman & Robin)

    7. Notoriously so-bad-they're-good movies (Birdemic, Zardoz, Gymkata, The Room)

    8. Straight-up next-level bonkers stuff, regardless of its infamy (Face/Off, The Room, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Surf Ninjas)

    9. Absolutely anything related to the Fast and the Furious movies.

    Any others that I'm not thinking of?

    10. Zardoz.

  10. Posted

    2 hours ago, Treat Williams said:

    I was hoping we'd know something about a rescheduled LA show by now. Anyone else holding onto their tickets? Did I miss an indication somewhere on when this might happen?

     

    Are you THE Treat Williams??

    • Like 2

  12. Posted

    11 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

    So this is a minor thing but I think the Bo Derek costume was a bad idea. The opening scene reads "Palermo 1979" and you have Bo Derek dressed as her character in 10. Prior to 10 Bo Derek was in one movie, Orca, so she was a virtual unknown at the time. 10 did break her big into the public consciousness but 10 came out in October of 1979. Based on my research while I couldn't find an exact date for Italy most European countries didn't even get the movie 10 until February of the following year. Running around as Bo Derek from the movie would have been the same as running around as a generic beautiful blond. There is no way anybody in Italian would have know who she was or cared about Bo Derek from the movie 10 in 1979. The fact that Brent Spiner's character knows that it's Bo Derek means this movie either starts in November or December of 1979 or he was a big fan of the movie Orca and was looking forward to her next role.

    What if James Brolin's commitment to the cause was such that he was inhabiting the role of Bo Derek at all times in 1979 to fulfil his mission? So he would have filmed "10" with Dudley Moore as Bo Derek as part of his cover. In fact, what if he *created* the character of Bo Derek solely for his Disguisey missions, including marrying filmmaker John Derek and building an acting and modelling career? What if there was NO BO DEREK, and it was always James Brolin all along?

    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1

  13. Posted

    On 1/19/2020 at 12:13 PM, Cam Bert said:

    Hold on to your butts because here's my theory, this whole movie is a lie and it is all an elaborate ruse orchestrated by his family to trick him into an arranged marriage!

    Let's look at the facts. First, his grandfather shows up immediately after the parents go missing. How'd he know if he'd been out of contact with the family? Then he takes Pistachio under his tutelage and gives him the family book. Their family is an ancient Italian family and their guide book is written all in English. Now his family has some American ties true but at the time this book was supposedly written America wasn't a thing and they would have written it in Italian. Also the book is oddly specific to everything his grandfather said and exactly what's going on. You can say it's just a coincidence or everything is following a script concocted by his father and grandfather. Why was Jennifer hired as his assistant? They interviewed many more qualified people who literally not given a chance. Then she magically happens to show up that moment and gets the job despite not knowing anything about it. If though they both object to her they hire her. They even start laying the seeds in about not falling in love with a big old wink.

    Why would they do all this? Simple, they need an heir! Pistachio is the last in the long line of this great family and is clearly a little soft in the head. His parents are aware of this, and realize that this man child is never going to attract a stable girlfriend so the family line will die with him. James Brolin contacts his father and they work out this plan. They find a willing woman, Jennifer, and either manipulate her or pay her a large sum to marry their son. However, they realize that with his obsession with large posteriors  he'd never willingly go after Jennifer. It's at this point they start working on a way to get him to fall for her. This is where letting him in on the family secret with the book that basically forces him to fall in love with her comes into play. Think about it. Why else was the mystery so simple to solve? They had it all worked out that even he could solve it and he couldn't even do that! She has to tell Pistachio what to do at all times. When all is done their son is a little bit more mature and now they can have a future heir. If that fails she already has a son to past done the Disguisy name down on to. Also why would a young boy befriend a man with a dog in a day and age in which stranger danger is taught all the time? He was in on it too. I bet he wasn't even that clumsy.

    If that's the case he could have done a lot worse than Jennifer Esposito

  14. Posted

    17 minutes ago, taylor anne photo said:

    Oh I knew we wouldn't. I'm just shocked that Little Women is the only female directed movie recognized at all.

    ETA: Oh oops I did accidentally overlook Tom Hanks who was in a female directed movie, but that is the only other one to be recognized this year.

     

    Yeah but only two movies were made last year that were directed by women, right?

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1

  15. Posted

    On 3/21/2016 at 2:08 PM, Smigg said:

    Mortal Kombat Annihilation - I've been waiting too long for this, quite frankly, if I don't get it soon, I'm gonna start powerbombing people over it, not even punching people, pro-wrestling moves all the way.

     

    Ready to Rumble - A film about pro-wrestling which had actual consequences. The star, David Arquette, ended up winning the World Title in 'real life', against his will I hasten to add (They literally said, 'You're in a movie which we funded, so you better take this belt'), which sped up the process of WCW going out of business.

     

    9452954787_9dcdfe16b1_o.png

     

    Honest - Take 'Spice World', now, replace the Spice Girls with their "Edgy and Cool" counterparts, All Saints:

    all%20saints.jpg

    Okay, now instead of the sacharine, loud, brightly coloured, farcical family comedy for their tween girl fans to enjoy. Make it a grim, Lock Stock inspired cockney gangster movie, which their adolescent fan base couldn't watch because it was rated 18... and nobody else could watch it, because it was shit, the only saving grace that this movie had was that teenage boys got a glimpse of their tits, and that's it.

     

    Full English Breakfast - Okay, take 'The Room', and replace Tommy Wiseau with British plastic gangster, Dave Courtney

    article-2592170-003E7FFF00000258-323_634x482.jpg

    Now, replace the hilariously bad story, with what essentially amounts to "British Gangsters vs. The Taliban". It is actually WORSE than The Room, imagine the fun you had watching how bad the Room is, remove it. I can honestly see Jason losing his mind to him pulling chunks of beard out and eating it.

     

    Mortal Kombat Annihilation - I just really want them to do this movie.

     

    Honourable Mention - Battle of the Year.

    What kind of idiot wins the world wrestling championship against their will?? If they did that to me, not only would I gratefully accept, I'd defend my goddamn title.

  19. Posted

    Obviously too late for the minisode and the very constructive posts by fellow users about the wider issue of sexual harassment and assault.

    However, I read an interesting piece of trivia on IMDB that this was one of three major cinema releases in the early 90s to deal with the topic of sexual harassment. This one, which was about a woman being the harasser, Gross Misconduct which was about a woman falsifying a complaint, and Mamet's Oleanna which sort of showed both parties' sides of the story.

    I think if people tried to get their information about the issue in real life from how it's portrayed in these films, they might get the wrong idea.

    • Like 2
    • Hedgehog 1

  20. Posted

    On 9/27/2019 at 2:15 PM, Smigg. said:

    After listening to the discussion about it. I might as well add my expriences as a teenager in the age of the "Adult Movie" laden 90s.

    Back when I was at school, there was a bustling tape trading scene.  One kid would have "Sliver", and is willing to make a deal to get his hands on "9 1/2 Weeks".  There was the one kid who was trying to palm off "Naked Lunch", but nobody was gonna take that slop. The kid who had Basic Instinct was the hot hand.  If you had that, you can decide your own terms.  But, it was also great, because you weren't bringing porn into school, and because it's being taped off the TV, you just label it something like "WWF SuperStars", because who's getting in trouble for wrestling?

    But, all that changed with the advent of a new network channel, Channel 5.  We only had BBC, ITV, and Channel 4, so getting your hands on tapes was much more difficult, because you had to scour the Radio Times, find something that could potentially be considered "dirty", programme it in, hope your mum and dad had gone to bed at that time, and then wake up earlier than everybody else to get the tape out before anybody could catch you, it's especially tricky if you have satellite.  There was a real risk/reward aspect to the operation, but, if you could pull it off, you've got a bargaining chip.

    But then Channel 5 happened, and it just turned that shit on it's ear, because Channel 5 changed the game with the Friday Night Dirty Movie.  Or, as it was pronounced where I'm from "The Frahdee Nah't Detty FIlm".  With the Frahdee Nah't Detty Film becoming a staple in the listings, it basically collapsed the tape trading scene, because why would you wait around for someone to bring in a relatively tame Sharon Stone movie, when Shannon Tweed was on every Friday?  The market was flooded, and now there was no bargaining leverage.

    And, what happens when an underworld market collapses?  A kingpin rises up, and this kid rose up because he had a TV in his room.  Not only did he have a TV in his room, he had a VCR... and Cable.  British cable channels were weird in the 90s, some of them would just become softcore channels at 10pm. We had this channel called L!VE TV, you ask any man who was a teenager in the 90s, that channel was stuff of legend. You had Grenada Men & Motors, cars in the day, dirty programming at night, whatever took your fancy, cable had it.  The market was back, but ruled by one kid.  It collapsed again because he got taken down when someone snitched on him to the teachers.

    Those days were like the wild west, I still miss it a little.

    One of my very few claims to fame is that I appeared on L!ve TV performing stand-up comedy, which was broadcast straight after the topless darts. My act had to be cleared by Legal before it could be broadcast.

    • Like 2

  21. Posted

    Ken Russell's baffling, obscene, startlingly excessive, crazy crazy attempt to mash up classical music with his Rock Opera approach to Tommy.

     

    It's been mentioned in passing but never given a full recommendation. This article is just a tiny sample of the madness the film contains:

    https://www.theguardian.com/film/filmblog/2013/feb/06/lisztomania-most-embarrassing-historical-film

    For those who thought Zardoz was not quite bonkers enough.

     

  22. Posted

    This needs a pod. They must have HURTLED into production of a sequel. Lewis Teague shows everyone what a good job Zemeckis did on the first one by doing an absolutely appalling job of this film. The music is like something from a low end 1980s arcade game. The special effects are dreadful. And apparently Sufi Muslims are magic druids?

    • Like 1

  23. Posted

    I would say Demolition Man. I think it's a legitimately entertaining film, and a lot of its satirical and comedic stuff lands pretty well. The central idea of the violent angry male archetypes 9f yesterday being a shock to the system of future society has pretty much come true.

    • Like 4

  25. Posted

    2 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

    I'm not going to lie there was a moment or two when I thought to it's "... Oh no can Drop Dead Fred Get It? I'm going to have to bury whatever this feeling is deep inside of me because I'm not emotionally capable of dealing with the ramifications of this." Is Drop Dead Fred the new Bad Ernest you guys?!

    My therapist and I WILL be discussing this movie don't you worry. It's been a slow week for me and frankly this movie left me rattled. I can't be attracted to Drop Dead Fred I REFUSE. It's gonna be this and the fact my friends are buying fanny packs and it's confusing me because I'm not filled with loathing. So maybe not such a slow week after all?

    Rik Mayall was a good looking fella

    rik-mayall.jpg?w968h681

     

    • Like 3
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