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Cockney Mackem

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Posts posted by Cockney Mackem

  1. I would like to take this opportunity to promote the podcast of Kermode and Mayo's Film Show on BBC Radio. It's a straight film review show once a week - so it would be a bit of sync with US releases. But the presenters bounce off each other really well, and Mark Kermode is a very good reviewer (and delivers some awesome rants about films that he especially hates. Google Kermode Review Sex And The City 2).



    • Like 1

  2. I forgot what Mulholland Falls was and had to Google it to remember, which led me to finding THIS image of Jennifer Connelly associated with it....



    Um, I think we know which film everyone on Earth should be seeing. JCVD is one beautiful man, but, with nary a split or shirtless training montage in The Quest, I'd say Mulholland Falls wins out.


    I absolutely hate Mulholland Falls. Not even Jennifer Connelly can save it from being a boring, boring film. If they were showing it on a plane I'd walk out.

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  3. According to the film's IMDb trivia, Roger Moore doesn't like this film at all and regards it as his least favorite on his filmography! He was even further dismayed when the producers claimed to had promised him that he would get "above the title" billing next to Van Damme, but in reality, his name was further down the credits!


    He's got a nerve, after Bullseye, The Curse Of The Pink Panther and Boat Trip

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  4. Did anyone feel uncomfortable with Nicole calling the black fighters "monkey's"? Come on girl, that's just not right... and she is black herself, she should know better.


    It's in context though, the black fighters were portrayed as jungle men, with one of the guys taking monkey style to an insane level.


    I have a Scandinavian coworker (who speaks great English) who says her accent would be less pronounced if she spoke with more of a British accent as opposed to an American one, because they learn British English. Of course it's still not their native language, but it's possible that for some non-English speaking Europeans, UK accents are easier to pick up because it's basically how they're taught to speak English and maybe feels more natural, whereas US ones are like, an accent on top of an accent, if that makes any sense.


    I'm SURE this is a very very sweeping generalization and I should say I was born and raised in the US, so this is totally hypothesis and I am sorry if I'm wrong.


    That sounds right. There's a lot more links between English and Scandinavian languages than you'd think as well


    Lars Ulrich has been in the US for over 35 years and still has a Danish accent. So it's not out of the realm of possibility.


    That's true, although Lars Ulrich is a bit weird. We have quite a few Danish people in the UK and they speak such good English that even if they come here as adults they're not only fluent, they pick up the regional accent where they live.

  7. In regard to the "kissing" cousins' question regarding Chong Li's snot rockets, I have two theories:


    1) He's opening up his airway so he can breath better, reducing his chances of getting winded during the match.



    British football players are extremely good at this. The velocity and distance they achieve, while quite disgusting, is very impressive.

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  8. Sorry to change topic so quickly but I'm watching the TV show The Flash now - it's being broadcast here in the UK.


    So Barry Allen's girlfriend is moving from Central City to Midway City which is apparently ending the relationship because she's leaving town. As I understand it, in the DC Universe these two cities are about 300 miles apart. That's a fifteen minute jog for the Flash, how does that end the relationship? Idiots.

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  9. It says in the final title card that Dux holds the world record for most consecutive knockouts in a single tournament with 56. Now, in this film, Kumate is bracket style. This would imply that the number of combatants is 2^56 or 720 trillion. Seeing as the earth's population is only 7.125 Billion, that would imply that that Kumate Tournament has 1 million times the population of the earth, posing the question: This must be an intergalactic fighting competition.


    I agree

  10. By the way, does anyone else have trouble finding Blake Harris's articles on slashfilm sometimes? I'm using a smartphone not a computer if that makes a difference, but the latest oral history article on his slashfilm page is Teen Witch and I can't find Covenant or Bloodsport despite my best Google efforts

  11. So, is this the best movie Cannon made? Its straightforward charm definitely holds up better than any of their attempts to make more elaborate movies on higher budgets, as exemplified by previous HDTGM subject Masters of the Universe. (The Electric Boogaloo documentary quotes Golan or Globus that on their $20 million movies, they would rather be using it for 20 different $1 million movies.) And it's safe to say that it's better than almost all of their forays into prestige filmmaking. But do their rare acclaimed efforts like Runaway Train (which was nominated at the Academy Awards) or The Assault (which won; I'm not kidding) provide exceptions?


    Is the real question "how did a movie this good get made at Cannon?"


    Runaway Train has to be the best Cannon film of all time

  12. Something caught my attention at the end of the movie. It says the real Frank Dux claims to have 56 consecutive knockouts in the same tournament. This struck me as improbable, so I did a little math.


    That would imply a tournament with at least 56 rounds, so let’s say it has exactly 56 rounds. If we assume it’s a single elimination tournament like the Kumite is, and we assume nobody gets a bye to the next round, that would mean a tournament with 72 quadrillion, 57 trillion, 594 billion, 37 million, 927 thousand, 936 participants. Which is over 10 million times the current population of earth.


    Furthermore, if we say the average length of a fight is 1 minute (an extremely conservative estimate), the length of time spent fighting would be 137 billion, 4 million, 855 thousand, 294 years, which is over 30 times the age of the earth. Of course this time could be lessened by having multiple fighting rings and concurrent fights, but still, Frank’s claim is obviously bullshit. The real Frank Dux may be a badass, but unless everything I know about tournaments is completely wrong, he is also a fucking liar.


    P.S. I’ll attach my work. If anyone finds a flaw in my math or logic, please let me know, but I think it’s all sound.




    Ah shit, I knew someone would get there first.

  13. OK, I'm just going to post this and take the shit if it's already been discussed.


    The end caption talking about the "real" achievements of Frank Dux included his world record of 56 consecutive knockouts in one tournament. Now, if the format of kumite fighting was pure knockout - 8 fighters in the quarter final, 4 in the semi finals, 2 in the final - 56 knockouts would be unbelievable. 56 rounds of knockout if you add it up would require 72 million billion contestants, or 12 million times the population of the Earth. No one could be keeping the tournament a secret because the whole planet would be in the tournament: old people, world leaders, babies, everyone. And then millions of nearby star systems would have to send their entire populations to compete in the tournament, so Dux was fighting martial arts aliens. Which is a film I would watch.


    And of course there's Dux's claim that he was actually working for the CIA when he first competed in kumite, having fought in Vietnam. The CIA had sent him to infiltrate the criminal element in the tournament and he just happened to be the best fighter in the world. Match that to his date of birth and he was 19 years ago old, a decorated Vietnam veteran and a CIA operative, and the world champion of full contact martial arts. This guy is the biggest bullshitter of all time.