Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Ribelin2000

  1. Anyone else think this is perfect HDTGM fodder? A Married with Children-era Christina Applegate stars in this 1991 classic, playing a character who's not nearly as dumb as Kelly Bundy yet every bit as hot. The plot: Applegate is excited about summer vacation, especially with Mom going on a trip to Australia(?). Little does she know that Mom hired a babysitter-uh-oh! At first the babysitter seems like a kind, gentle old lady, but the exact minute Mom drives off to the airport, she drops her façade and reveals herself to be the old, female Hitler, ordering the kids to do their chores and-horrors!-taking Applegate's cigarette out of her mouth and stomping it out on the ground with her cane (oh, dear, now Applegate will never be able to get cancer)! But, wouldn't you know it, after walking into the pot-smoking, metal-loving oldest son's bedroom (complete with a Slayer poster laid out on the desk and Playboy centerfolds on the wall), the mean old witch drops dead of a heart attack! Now, with no parents or guardians left in charge, Applegate and her siblings are left to fend for themselves, and Applegate is forced to get a job. Many areas to discuss here: the fact that Applegate, applying for a job as a receptionist, is hired for a high-level position on the spot, without the boss (Joanna Cassidy) even bothering to check out the references on Applegate's obviously fake resume, the gratuitous glamorization of smoking (complete with a scene that features an extreme close-up of a Marlboro being lit between Applegate's luscious lips. I mean, who wrote this, the head of Philip Morris?), the mere contrived coincidence of Applegate's love interest just so happening to be the younger brother of the receptionist who's giving Applegate a hard time at work, the extensive wardrobe collection of Applegate's mother (which somehow manages to all fit Applegate just fine), the use of the term "Metallica-breath" as an insult (used to insult a pre-"X-Files" David Duchovny, no less), and then, of course, there's Cassidy's line about cucumbers. Discuss.
  2. Ribelin2000

    Problem Child (1990)

    BOTH of these movies are absolutely PEFECT for HDTGM! Michael Oliver plays Junior, a little brat who gets tossed around from one foster family to another all his life, causing chaos wherever he ends up, until he gets adapted by John Ritter, who finally realizes what the other families never understood, that all Junior needed all along was a little love and compassion. Michael Richards plays the serial killer Junior idolizes. In the sequel, Junior and Ritter move to a new town, where Junior joins forces with a female counterpart named Trixie, and try to stop Ritter from marrying rich-bitch Lawanda, played by SNL alum Laraine Newman. Would love to hear Paul and the gang discuss these two classic comedies!
  3. Both of these movies are prime candidates for HDTGM. First, you have the original, which Stephen King wrote himself. Here's the thing about this movie: it start out as this your typical King horror flick, scary but fun and entertaining, but once you get to that picnic scene, with that oil truck and the baby chasing after that kite, that's when the movie's tone gets even darker and more depressing and even sad. You've got an evil zombie baby with a scalpel, you've got Fred Gwynne and his thick New England accent, you've got the ghost with the massive head wound-what's not to talk about here? And the sequel, with Edward Furlong, fresh off of T2, and a bearded, pre-"ER" Anthony Edwards, is even better, and by "better", I mean, absolutely fucking dreadful, with a plot that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, and a completely nasty, mean-spirited, ugly tone. I felt like I needed a shower after seeing that one, let me tell you! What do you guys think? You wanna see Paul and the gang cover these two movies?
  4. This 2004 "epic" is nothing more than Roland Emmerich exploiting the very real threat of global warming for the sake of entertainment, with one of the most ridiculous plots ever put on screen. In fact, the plot of this movie was so stupid that "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone actually tried to do a shot-for-shot remake of it, done for laughs this time, with puppets, that was supposed to come out the day after the release of this movie (of course, they were barred from doing so, and did Team America: World Police instead)! This one was made for HDTGM!
  5. First of all, there was no reason to change it, it was just perfect the way it was. Secondly, they had to change it to a fucking rap song!!! I'M FUCKING SICK OF RAP!!! RAP SUCKS!!! Please!!! Enough of this rap shit! NO MORE RAP!!! Seriously, if I never hear another goddamn rap song in my life, I'll be a very happy man.
  6. Ribelin2000

    Taken (2008)

    The fact that this movie hasn't even been considered for HDTGM baffles the Hell out of me. It is absolutely the perfect candidate for a future episode. To those who have seen it, I think the reasons would be pretty obvious.
  7. Ribelin2000

    Angel Heart (1987)

    I know this movie has tons of fans, but I think this one is just crying out for HDTGM to do an episode about it. It was written and directed by Alan Parker, adapted from a book written by the same guy who wrote the script for Ridley Scott's Legend, but you'd think it was made by the members of Slayer, seriously (a band which just so happens to be one of my favorite bands of all-time, BTW). Joe Queenan once wrote an excellent column about movies that make no fucking sense whatsoever, called "In the Realm of the Senseless", where he gave an excellent description of this movie: Of course, Queenan failed to mention that this movie originally was rated X, due to a rather graphic sex scene with a butt-naked Rourke and Bonet, involving rain leaking from the roof that slowly turns to fucking blood (RAINING BLOOD!!!). At the time of the film's release in 1987, this was especially scandalous considering that Bonet was still playing Denise Huxtable on the family-friendly "Cosby Show", and Bill Cosby made it public that he didn't exactly approve of her part in this movie (remember, this was back when Cosby still had a rather squeaky-clean image, decades before his true self-that of a serial rapist-was revealed). Anyway, anyone else think HDTGM should cover this movie?
  8. This so-called "comedy", starring Dudley Moore and a "Growing Pains"-era Kirk Cameron (this was obviously made before he became a Bible-thumping nut, since he uses Jesus' name in vain at one point here), is quite possibly the worst of the three movies released in late 1987-early 1988 (the others being Vice Versa and 18 Again) in which an adult switches bodies with an adolescent. This review from the late Roger Ebert pretty much perfectly sums up what's wrong with this movie:http://www.rogereber...r-like-son-1987 I'd say it'd be perfect for HDTGM.
  9. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead Deadly Friend On Deadly Ground Til There Was You Flowers in the Attic (the 1987 feature film)
  10. Ribelin2000

    Short Circuit 1 or 2...or both!

    I don't see how the character of Ben is any more racist than Apu on The Simpsons. Let's stop all this PC Nazism, please.
  11. Ribelin2000

    Til There Was You

    I'd love to hear the HDTGM gang rip this movie apart. This must be one of the worst rom-coms ever made, and that's saying an awful lot. One of the most contrived stories ever put on screen, a cast that includes both Jennifer Aniston and Sarah Jessica Parker-and can someone please explain to me what's up with all the cigarette-smoking in this movie? Seriously, there seems to be an emphasis on smoking in this movie that's incredibly annoying and is totally effing pointless. Here's the trailer, for anyone who'd be interested (though I don't know why):https://www.youtube....h?v=Rr6CIRxJq0I And I just wanted to add that if this movie were made today, I could easily see Katherine Heigl in the Jeanne Tripplehorn part and some generic, untalented hunk in the Dylan McDermott part. This movie sucks. Ugh.
  12. Ribelin2000

    Til There Was You

    Can someone please explain to me why this topic only has one reply after nearly three weeks-by myself? And don't tell me it's because the movie's too obscure. Death Spa was a no-budget, indie B-movie that barely even got a release in theaters. Til There Was You was a high-profile wide release by a major studio featuring A-listers in its cast, and it was one of the worst movies of its genre ever produced. HDTGM should do a podcast on this cinematic abomination ASAP.
  13. Ribelin2000

    Til There Was You

    Geez, no replies after a week? Seriously? *sigh*
  14. Ribelin2000

    Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991)

    The Last Boy Scout was a pretty good movie.
  15. Ribelin2000

    EPISODE 119 - Maximum Overdrive: LIVE!

    I heard what that guy said. He clearly said the n-word. I've seen this movie hundreds of times, and I know he said it.
  16. Ribelin2000

    EPISODE 119 - Maximum Overdrive: LIVE!

    This one's for "Corrections and Omissions": Early in the film, when we first meet the Bible salesman and the "road twitch", they're in the car, the twitch is listening to the guy on the radio talk about the reports of machines coming to life and attacking people, the salesman is babbling about his life, so the twitch tells him to be quiet, and the salesman replies, "What's wrong, n!gger sweet-thing?!" That's right, the Bible salesman actually calls a white woman the n-word. WTF? Also, the very first shot of the movie is of the planet Earth, but if you look carefully, you'll notice the image is upside-down.
  17. Ribelin2000

    Deadly Friend (1986)

    I second this, this would be the perfect tribute to Craven. I've always loved this movie, not exactly a masterpiece but still entertaining. Always thought Kristy Swanson was hot as Hell in it, too. I would love to see HDTGM cover the fact that Swanson gets killed by her father after coming home from Thanksgiving dinner. Talk about the Worst. Thanksgiving. Ever. (except for maybe the very first one)
  18. Ribelin2000

    Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)

    Bumping this up. Still want to see HDTGM cover this movie.
  19. Ribelin2000

    The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

    My only theory as to why HDTGM hasn't done an episode on this yet is that the Nostalgia Critic already did such a good job ripping this movie apart that Paul & Co. can't think of anything new to say about it.
  20. Ribelin2000


    I think all of the movies in this series are prime candidates for HDTGM. Just some of the dumbest movies ever made, seriously.
  21. Ribelin2000

    Taken (2008)

    The fact that a serious issue like sex trafficking is used in the plot of a movie this stupid makes it exploitation. Besides, white supremacy is a serious issue, too, but that didn't stop HDTGM from covering Top Dog recently, now did it?
  22. Ribelin2000

    Taken (2008)

    It may be fun, but it's stupid. Not to mention overly contrived and way too convenient.
  23. Ribelin2000

    The Boy Who Could Fly (1986)

    I can't imagine why HDTGM would wanna talk about Uncle Buck.
  24. Ribelin2000

    Blind Date (1987)

    Anyone remember this? A year before his cinematic breakthrough with Die Hard, Bruce Willis, then still best known as the star of TV's Moonlighting, had his first starring role in a movie with this slapstick comedy, directed by the legendary Blake Edwards. The plot: Willis's brother, played by Phil Hartman (RIP), sets him up on a blind date with Kim Basinger, but warns him not to get her drunk, or she'll lose control. But the way Hartman says this makes it sound like a *good* thing. So Willis makes the tragic mistake of getting Basinger drunk on wine, and she, of course, loses control, and destroys Willis's life all in one night. But Willis falls in love with Basinger, and tries to stop her arranged wedding to her psychotic ex-boyfriend, played by John Larroquette. They used to show this movie all the time on TV when I was a kid. My Mom loves it, for some reason. Perfect HDTGM material.
  25. Ribelin2000

    Blind Date (1987)

    I can't believe there hasn't been any replies to this topic.