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Everything posted by Houston

  1. Christian Finnegan really does need to be more careful about how he presents himself. He needs to hire a town crier to go before him warning people about his uncanny cobra-like features. Bit of hollywood inside business for you guys, an unconfirmed rumor suggests that Finnegan is a HUGE Star Wars fan and knew a guy, who knew a guy. Long story told as it happens, this guy was owed a favor by JJ Abrahams. This guy owed Christian Finnegan a favor for battling a sentient mongoose who terrorized his neighborhood. He knew Finnegan was a massive Star Wars nerd who would kill someone to be a part of the upcoming movies. Finnegan's friend had a long standing feud with his ex and saw this as a massive opportunity. He told Finnegan that he could get him a part in the new SW film as a stormtrooper, but JJ Abrams needed a favor first. Finnegan, again desperate to the point of bloodlust, happily decapitated his friends ex, thinking all the while he was killing to be in Force Awakens. So the ex is dead and the body parts are covertly mailed to the deceased's family members, thus completing the quip pro quo arrangement Finnegan believed was necessary to get the part, he arrives in London to lay low and be a part of cinematic history. His first day on set he's shooting a scene with none other than Harrison Ford. After the first take Finnegan takes off his helmet to express to Mr. Ford what an honor it is to meet him and get some insider info on the controversial 'who shot first' debacle. Well, the second Mr. Ford turns around and sees Finnegan he punches him between his snake-like eyes. The world begins to fade to black for Finnegan and the last thing he hears is Ford bellowing, I HATE SNAKES. What Finnegan didn't hear was the the manly bellow was followed by a diminutive whimper, i hate snakes. As Mr. Ford ran away from Finnegan's limp body weeping harder than a willow in a drought he tripped over a Twi'lek's prosthetic head extension and broke his damned ankle. Finnegan was extradited to the US and they had to reshoot the scene weeks later.
  2. Love your revisionist history Spunky. Sure Samantha could've paced herself better. Sure she could've eaten before the party to mitigate the impact of the booze. That said, we both know that there was a Yak at the party well before she vomited. The exact details are unknown, but we all know that the ghost writer for City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold stole the 'it's a bull' milking joke from the rumors surrounding this party. So keep down playing the true tales behind Samyak if you must, but the truth will out you.
  3. It's the 21st Century and people are still idly using 'samyak' callously ignoring it's dark and devious origins. I'm not trying to censor comedy, but some things just aren't funny.
  4. Paul, 1Direction is going on 'hiatus', should I be happy, sad, concerned, or wondering if I am too old to have their posters on my wall? Asking for a friend.
  5. Paul, Forum poster Jakal texted me the following "question" "Paul Rust, more like Paul Bust!' P.S. What is your cup size?"
  6. Paul, You seem to be a funny person who gets a lot of work. You've appeared in many shows, but you typically only once. Are you the comedic version of beer goggles?
  7. this is fun stuff. keep it up.
  9. All joking asalad guys, we are the best! No competition from those cellar dwelling mouthbreathers on the darkweb.
  10. Gonna confess, I don't knowst Probst. I do know quality fun runs. See you all in December!
  11. the dad community is divided over this joke. it's a joke, but not sure it's representative of all dads.
  12. Double posts are my favorite.
  13. Don't have much to add. Solid ep. Fantastic GIF by Dix....
  14. (placeholder message awaiting content after episode is sonically processed)
  15. Norm. It was good seeing you in the hangout too. (passive aggressively hits post)
  16. Houston


    Interesting. The first time I talked to Jeff Ulrich he said, "who are you?" and "why are you standing at my door?" The rest is fuzzy and he might or might not have said, "I don't understand how you guy my address!?" "I have called the cops", "I will cut you", and so on and so forth. Long story short, after some nice chats we established a minimum distance I needed to be away from him and that that was WELL before the Scripps deal.
  17. Houston


    Scott. I'm glad you didn't firebomb the place like SteveH suggested he'd do. You'd think humanity would've progressed to the point that firebombing things would no longer be seen as a solution. Alas. Maybe that day lies ahead. Thanks for taking so much time to answer questions. It might be helpful if you got someone more technical than yourself to come in at another point to better address some of those questions and concerns. I genuinely appreciate the time and effort you've taken to attempt to address individuals questions and sometimes just acknowledge their raging emotions.
  18. Undoubtably people are excited. Taylor Swift seemed amused and she's people. Also, gotta be careful about anything you say about Ms. Swift or those Swiftboat Veterans for Truth will come after you. I was skeptical of their devotion to her at the start, but they are a loyal lot.
  19. 99% sure this is an inside joke about Talk Soup. 1% unsure where the RSS initials come in. Maybe some dig at Joel McHale.
  20. I had the same thought, but then I did. I feel really good about that choice.
  21. Can't wait for the pilot ep to drop!
  22. Tom, They say comedy is truth and apparently you are a pescetarian. What's the best fish joke you know? Tom, Me again. I learned about the dangers of the PC police from Donald Trump the other night, what kind of outfits do you think the PC police should wear?
  23. Only if that shit is on a hypercolor t-shirt. I'd wear the hell out of a hypercolor skellington shirt. Back top could say "Jock's Pump Gas" and the bottom could say "Kiss Nerd Ass."
  24. Gonna workshop some options: 1 - Lifelike recreation of the fingernail on the other hand. #twisted 2 - The faces of your co-workers. 3 - The faces of your co-workers mothers. 4 - Greggy's avatar 5 - Toes.