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Everything posted by Houston

  1. SF. As a famous Dr once said, "I'm so sorry." Know that you aren't alone. It sounds like you've done your best. One minute they are man's "best friend," then they get in with the wrong crowd, one bad choice leads to another and they get pinched.
  2. Drunken foruming. All the cool kids and kittens are doing it.
  3. Guys, the whole Gargoyle Boyz this is a lighthearted spoof, right? RIGHT? (locks door. assumes the fetal position in the corner with the best view of possibly entry points. waits. rocks.) P.S. Edited to reflect new information.
  4. Erin, Am I mansplaining jokes to you? If so, I am sorry. If not, how do I know when I am?
  5. Chandlerbing.com was killed in the first gargolye. Maybe. There is a 40 - 100% chance you are overthinking things.
  6. Going over the case files of the most recent murder. Seems like this OJ guy (no, not THAT one) was a loner. Some might even say a rebel. Some of the community organizing types tried to bring OJ into the fold, but their advances were rejected. Why? WHY? These are the questions that keep me up at night. That and having to piss 10 times from those damn bags of beer. Why is it so delicious and why does it only come in bags?
  7. The screen flickered black. The morgue report came back. This writing was different. No trace of acidic urine. The pattern was changing, but why? He pulled the flask out. It was lighter than it had been when the week began. How many more? Out of the corner of his eye he saw a file named 'Kittens'. Another missing person case. The whisky and bags of beer always end before the work.
  8. You might want to take that bear to the vet. That hole in it's abdomen is massive. He also makes me want to cry. Hug it and tell it whatever it needs to hear.
  9. 1900 Hours. The call came in. Pauly Shore was dead. Official report states he weezed to much jUice. I knew better. The piss writing on the wall said "Who you calling HOMO NOW". I can't say I agree with those Gargoyle Boyz (Gargle Boyz?) (Gaggle of Menchildz?), but justice is justice.
  10. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. flickered in the background. He’d seen it before. Usually the old voices and the stale, canned laughter brought him a nostalgic comfort, but not today. It was the bottle episode. Someone forgot to tell the writing staff that bottle episodes don’t HAVE to contain bottles. While the at the time the incorporation of molotov cocktails felt edgy and groundbreaking at the time… with the fresh hell on the streets, the surprise was lost along with any hope of humor. While it was heartwarming to see the reasonable and elderly working to bring calm to the city, it was clear that this was a reckoning. Come hell or high water, this storyline was going to end up like on McNally and Crowder. Gasping for air and beaten to death. He heard rumors that it was finished, but like all comic book nerds know, death is rarely final…. or is it?
  11. I only recently found the ADPPP... I nearly fell over when they started talking about the ER in war torn Lubumbashi. I forget exactly when they recorded this reference, but the level of accuracy in which they talked about the area was surreal. The reference to a mai mai militia was inspired. I was listening to this podcast while going through a TSA screening at the airport and was legitimately worried that I might get flagged as an insane person because of my consistent fits of laughter.
  12. It was a warm evening. Retirement.... that would be sweet. It's getting close, but he knew the cliches well enough to think about the exact timeframe as that was a known taboo. The ones who make it do so by their wits, luck, or selling their soul to the darkness that descended upon this city. He wanted to believe it was his wits that guided him to a long career on the force, but he was an honest man. Sure, he got an award once. That kind of recognition builds confidence, but in the mean streets a trophy in your hand is only good for crushing skulls. Hell, the presidents even read one of his questions to the pope. It was luck that he had. Last week it looked like it might guide him through to the end. After the deaths of Crowder and McNally he knew..... luck is for children and simpletons. Yet, he knew that luck more than wits would see him through now. McNally's death a relief. He was a monster. Like that dr who made that patchwork scary man. Crowder though.... damn..... that one stings. He just had a kid. Looking through their case files he couldn't find anyone who might have a vendetta against them. It didn't make sense. Two cops. Killed. Witnesses are spouting gibberish about winged demons, but that is just a legend. Those aren't real. JUMP CUT His nose fills with sulfur. It is a smell from hell. He's never smelled it before, but he knew it instantly. The boyz are back. They also signed their name in the brick wall with their acid urine. As an honest man he admitted that helped. Their pen15menship was flawless.
  13. I am not familiar with the gangland rulz here. - Who does GGBZ beef wit? - Do you have colors? - Are you an organized crew that offers a safe space to vulnerable forumers and promote an ideal of family/loyalty only to exploit that loyalty into making them pawns in criminal enterprises with the profits disproportionally skewed towards the OGs (original gargoyles) and forcing young gargoyles to live with their moms? - Is it blood in blood out?
  14. I wish I had Dixon's sick skills. This is all I've got this week.
  15. I captained a wooden boat across Lake Edward crossing from Uganda to DRC. We are all one family, right?
  16. In honor of your big day the crew got together to make you a special cake. It's your favorite.
  17. I mean, we all remember the bagged gin from all those trips to Uganda, but beer? Must be a British thing.
  18. It sounds like the real problem is that you are boooored as you have two bags of beer. Unless you lost your frisbee again..... As the immortal bard, Douglas Adams, said, Don't Panic. Drinking the two bags of beer is implied.
  19. Great ep. fun jokes and funny laughs. The review of San Andreas got me thinking about F.R.I.E.N.D.S. again. It was the season that show 'jumped the shark', but not meaning it got bad... just that they did the Sharknado aftermath tie in ep. As you recall NY was COVERED in rotting shark flesh for weeks. The show went about it's normal routine of Niall being on the run for attempted manslaughter and/or murder. (this is also the episode where you being to wonder if Niall is real or just a collective delusion). Ross confuses a pile of shark bones for fossils. Dandler and Sandra hook up because they thought the Sharknado was the end of times and they figured they might as well throw down. Feeby ended the episode with the updated classic, 'Smelly Shark, Smelly Shark, why are your rotten here'.
  20. 1. Name is pronounced like the city in Texas, not that weird NY street. 2. It was really special to get signed swag from this weeks guest. The perks of getting into the popcorn gallery.
  21. I'm looking forward to the next episode of Rotten Tomatoes. Up for review:
  22. F.R.I.E.N.D.S was alright, but it went on a few years too long. That said, using the monkey in that crossover event with Outbreak was a real game changer in the multi-camera sitcom genre.