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About ssrobison

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    Portland, OR
  1. ssrobison


    Let me just say that Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous is one of my favorite movies. I knew Aloha got some of the worst reviews of the year, but I had to know why. There was a lot of talk about how it portrayed Hawaii and the culture, but I didn’t see any of that as the real problem with the movie. There was a reverence for the Hawaiian culture and their myths and having Emma Stone as a quarter Hawaiian was fine, if mildly irritating. The terrible movie is everything else that no one mentioned. There isn’t one character that is developed, and Bradley Cooper’s character is just supposed to be ultra-brilliant---but we never really see why. One of the plots involves Rachel McAdams (the ex-girlfriend) as having Cooper’s child and never telling him until now. Both of her kids love Cooper instantly for no reason. The son isn’t Cooper’s son, but he clearly wishes he were. One of my favorite parts is that climatic scene between Bradley Cooper and John Krasinki that is completely telepathic and written in subtitles. I’m not joking, that is in the movie! Cooper tells Krasinki that he didn’t sleep with his wife and they hug. I’m just scraping the surface here and think HDTGM must do this movie immediately. It’s current, it’s horrible, and needs to be made fun of right now.
  2. ssrobison

    Beowulf (2007)

    I know someone else listed the low budget straight-to-video version of Beowulf from 1999, but I think this high budget motion captured animated movie is far superior in how crazy it is. This specific kind of motion capture 3D animation that Zemeckis is known for is so creepy and off-putting. Combine it with the story of Beowulf that is already batshit insane---you have a winner! Let me be clear, this movie is not good and I especially like how it doesn't really appeal to anyone in particular from any age, gender, or class. I'm truly amazed it was ever produced. Just to give you a taste of its lunacy---here is a screen capture of a naked animated Beowulf fighting Grendel. I love how they cover of his cock in interesting ways while he fights. I think this is the perfect movie for "How Did this Get Made" to cover.