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Putney Swope

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Everything posted by Putney Swope

  1. Putney Swope

    Boat Trip (2002)

    About as subtle as a fart at a funeral, they were clearly trying to cash in on the Farrelly brothers comedies of the late 90's. Enjoy a clip featuring everyone's favorite Bond, Roger Moore.
  2. Putney Swope

    The Willies (1990)

    ...with Doug Benson on as the guest, to reminisce about his experience on the set of this masterpiece. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jzRO_Mj57A http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103268/
  3. Putney Swope

    The Burning (1981)

    This would be an awesome Halloween episode, or just a great episode in general. There's so much to unpack with this one. First off, it was written by Harvey Weinstein. It also features a ton of recognizable actors and some of the shortest shorts in cinema history. One of the camp counselors is played by a young and slightly less bald Jason Alexander, and Holly Hunter has a small role as a teenage camper. As well as the great Fisher Stevens, who would go on to deliver an overtly racist performance as an Indian man in "Short Circuit" (1&2) .It hits a lot of the familiar slasher movie beats, some kids play a prank on the camp janitor, resulting in him being severely burned (just like in the title... get it?). He comes back a few years later to seek revenge on the campers, which basically just entails him mutilating them all with a pair of hedge tremors. It falls in line with "Sleepaway Camp", and after seeing it, I'm sure it served as an influence on "Wet Hot American Summer". It has a massive cult following, and it's free for your viewing pleasure on Youtube. http://www.imdb.com/...8/?ref_=nv_sr_2
  4. Putney Swope

    An Innocent Man (1989)

    Ever wanted to watch Tom Selleck shank a guy in a prison shower? This movie is for you, it's pretty fuckin' insane. It's kind of fun to imagine it as an "Oz" / "Magnum P.I." crossover. I noticed on Imdb that the first plot keyword tag for this movie is literally "male pubic hair", there are some obligatory prison shower scenes. Including the aforementioned one where Magnum shanks an inmate and breaks off the fuckin' handle bro! F. Murray Abraham and M.C. Gainey also appear as inmates. According to Imdb trivia, Gainey was high on coke during his audition. Also, the shank sequence was filmed at a high school, and there were baby swimming classes going on next door. Definitely check this one out. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097579/?ref_=tttr_tr_tt
  5. Holy shit, tryin' to figure this one out is a real brain drainer. Definitely one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen, but also really entertaining. The plot is really hard to describe, plus that would ruin the fun of watching it. It's pretty much just non-stop WTF moments that I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. It's beautifully shot, and well directed. Vigo Mortensen turns in a pretty unsettling performance as well. The creepy kid in the lead does really well too. I would definitely recommend this one. You've got a vampire, a creepy kid, a pervy one-eyed sheriff, a still born fetus, self immolation, harpoons, and Viggo Mortensen. After seeing this, I've found it has a huge cult following, I'm surprised it hasn't been suggested yet. http://www.imdb.com/...ref_=fn_al_tt_1
  6. I thought of this while listening to "The Color of Night" episode. The basic plot involves a guy following his seemingly mild-mannered co-worker (Kathleen Turner) one night, discovering that she moonlights as a prostitute called "China Blue". Also that China is being stalked by a bat-shit insane street preacher (Anthony Perkins), who wants to "save her soul" by stabbing her to death with a sharpened dildo. Ya' know, that old trope. And that's just the beginning. Auteur Ken Russell directs, adding his bizarre touch to this sleazy erotic thriller, which actually makes it way more watchable than it otherwise would've been. And it's chock full of next level bonkers dialogue that you will quote forever. This could make for a mind-blowing episode. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087100/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_35
  7. Putney Swope

    The Boogens (1981)

    Jesus this movie is fucking terrible. I seriously wonder if they just forgot they were making a monster movie until the first day of shooting, so they just went to the local dollar store and bought some frog hand puppets. The writer really seems to have a knack for coming up with great titles, having penned such classics as; "Alien Zone", "Fatal Instinct", and my favorite "Edge of Honor" starring Corey Feldman. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082094/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE0QZMrD424
  8. Putney Swope

    The Willies (1990)

    Yeah, it's basically a feature length "Are You Afraid of the Dark?".
  9. Putney Swope

    Strays

    I've seen some bad movies, but this one takes the fuckin' taco. It's a made for television movie from 1991, starring Timothy Busfield and Kathleen Quinlan. It centers on a family moving into an old house, not realizing it is infested by feral cats. That's right, domestic cats are the threat in this "horror" film. Strays(not to be confused with the 1997 film of the same name, which is written by,directed by, and starring a young Vin Diesel, not kidding) is so ridiculous it's actually a pretty fun watch. You can watch this shitfest in it's entirety on youtube. Also, it was directed by the DP of Jaws: The Revenge, Short Circuit 2, and Fletch Lives. Here's the Vin Diesel one too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcBnNcSpt0c
  10. Putney Swope

    Mean Guns (1997)

    I saw this in a video store when I was 10, I remember thinking that was the worst movie title I'd ever heard. I still stand by this.
  11. Putney Swope

    The Believers

    This little 80's gem stars Martin Sheen as a recently widowed psychiatrist in New York City. He discovers a cult, that believes in child sacrifice, is after his son. It was written by Mark Frost, co-creator and writer of Twin Peaks, and writer of both Fantastic Four part 1&2. This movie features one of the oddest cold open's I've ever seen, in which, Sheen's wife meets a grisly dairy-based demise. In the scene, Sheen's character spills a carton of milk on the kitchen floor. His wife tells him to shower and she'll clean it up. As she cleans, her son points out that the coffee maker is going haywire. When she reaches over to turn it off, she is violently electrocuted in front of her son, while standing in a puddle of milk. That's right, milk-trocution! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkQpPKxkoM There's also offensive racial stereotypes, mutilated cats, and sweet voodoo cult action. Robert Loggia and Jimmy Smits costar. P.S. Sorry about the lame dubbing on the clip. It's the only one on youtube. Still very funny.
  12. Putney Swope

    The Burning (1981)

    I'm glad to see there are more fans of this trashy 80's masterpiece on the boards. I believe they're doing "Death Spa"( )for this coming Halloween episode, but, maybe next year.
  13. Putney Swope

    Boat Trip (2002)

    Agreed, I think we're onto something here, gentlemen. Cuba Gooding Jr. is a real untapped resource for the show. There's already a post for "Chill Factor", another gem. Man, this guy really shit the bed career-wise.
  14. Putney Swope

    Bad Halloween Movies!

    http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/25992-brain-dead/
  15. Putney Swope

    Boat Trip (2002)

    Very true, it was straight to DVD from there on out. This and Snow Dogs would be the double feature from hell.
  16. Putney Swope

    Boat Trip (2002)

    I remember having to sit through this when I was 13 and thinking it was one of the dumbest goddamn movies ever. That has only intensified upon further viewing. Here's a quote from Roger Ebert's review, it's spot on. "Boat Trip" arrives preceded by publicity saying many homosexuals have been outraged by the film. Now that it's in theaters, everybody else has a chance to join them. Not that the film is outrageous. That would be asking too much. It is dim-witted, unfunny, too shallow to be offensive, and way too conventional to use all of those people standing around in the background wearing leather and chains and waiting hopefully for their cues. This is a movie made for nobody, about nothing."
  17. Putney Swope

    True Identity

    "In order to escape from the mob, an African-American man must disguise himself as a white man." This synopsis doesn't do justice to how insanely bad this movie is. It's completely ridiculous from the get-go. Frank "Skeletor" Langella plays the villain, a producer/ mobster who reveals his criminal ties to our lead, Miles("comedian" Lenny Henry), during a turbulent flight. The plane lands, and Miles is afraid for his life. Naturally, Miles seeks help from a make-up artist friend to disguise him as a white guy. Well, wouldn't you know it, Miles ends up being mistaken for the hitman that is supposed to kill him. Miles then must assume a parade of various identities to keep up the ruse. A lot of familiar actors show up, James Earl Jones, Michael Mckean, and JT walsh. Also, Lenny Henry was apparently signed to a three picture deal with Disney. Clearly, that didn't come to fruition as this was a massive bomb. This would be an awesome double feature with either "Soul Man"(also featuring James Earl Jones) or "White Chicks". Here's the trailer http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103128/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_73
  18. Putney Swope

    True Identity

    That's awesome. I'm actually kind of jealous. I would've loved to have seen this by myself in an empty theater when it came out. I just saw it the other day, I'm still trying to rationalize it. There's so much crazy shit to talk about with this one. It would be a great episode.
  19. Putney Swope

    Hollywood Homicide (2003)

    The interrogation scene, where the director let Harrison Ford "improvise", was really hard to sit through. I like how they shoehorned in Master P as a misguided attempt to reach a younger audience. According to Imdb, John Travolta and Joseph Gordon Levitt were originally slated to star. I really wish we could have had both versions. Also, it was written as a drama, but changed to a comedy at the insistence of Suge Knight. I'm not making this shit up. There's plenty of cinematic feces to sift through with this trainwreck of a movie.
  20. Putney Swope

    Shark Lake (2015)

    Just based on this trailer( ) I think this would be an amazing episode. Dolph Lundgren vs. sharks, enough said. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4416518/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_8
  21. Putney Swope

    Night of the Creeps (1986)

    Nice choice, I've been waiting for this one since Curtis Gwinn suggested it on the "Drive Angry" episode. I wish they could get Joe Bob Briggs to be a guest at some point.
  22. Putney Swope

    The Couch Trip

    This is right around the time Dan Aykroyd really began to overstay his welcome. He had three huge bombs in 1988, this movie included. No wonder he went back to the Ghostbusters well. This isn't the worst of the three he did that year, but it's pretty fuckin' bad. And I wouldn't ask anyone to sit through "Caddyshack 2". "My Stepmom is an Alien" is the third abortion from that same year. The plot of this revolves around Aykroyd, as an escaped mental patient posing as a psychiatrist on a radio talk show. Because this is a wacky farce, the show becomes a huge hit. Chevy Chase has a lame wink-wink cameo. Funnily enough, Chevy's vehicle "Funny Farm" ate serious shit at the box office. He also appeared in "Caddyshack 2", with Aykroyd. That makes three bombs a piece that year for both Chevy and Dan. They should have at least served jail time. That would have been a great movie, the two of them in an "Oz" style prison.
  23. Putney Swope

    Loose Cannons (1990)

    Yeah, we definitely need more episodes focused on bad Dan Aykroyd movies, there are a lot.This would be a great double feature with "Doctor Detroit". That movie should come with a warning "May induce nausea and severe douche chills". This movie in particular has some really odd moments. For instance, the scene where Dan Aykroyd talks to Gene Hackman about foreskin still haunts me.
  24. Putney Swope

    Oscar (1991)

    Sly stars in this "period farce", as Angelo "Snaps" Provolone, a gangster who makes a promise to his dying father (Kirk Douglas) that he will go straight, "hilarity" ensues. The cast is over-stuffed with a weird hodgepodge of actors. Marisa Tomei plays his petulant daughter, Lisa Provolone. His goons are played by Chazz Palminteri, Peter Riegert, and the one and only Joey Travolta. Tim Curry and Harry Shearer also make appearances. All the 1940's scenery is thoroughly chewed, as every actor seems to relish in the gangster slang, 40's clothing, and wacky accents. All the actors are really going for it with the Marx Brother-esque humor, but it's just so bad. Every attempt at humor in this movie falls flat. This and "Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot", which came out the year after this, pretty much killed any chance Sly had at comedy stardom. After this he did a string of straight forward action films. This piece of shit won three Razzies, and was based on a french film from 1967, which was based on a play. Why someone thought this would be a great comedy vehicle for Sly, I have no idea. Siskel and Ebert gave this two thumbs up.
  25. Putney Swope

    Hellroller

    "He's got a wheelchair and an attitude... He's turning the streets of L.A. into a morgue!" After reading that tagline I had to see this movie. It's just what it sounds like, which is pretty awesome. Eugene, a paraplegic living on the streets with his mother, goes on a killing spree after she reveals she is actually his aunt. The Aunt promptly disappears from the movie. I acquired some awesome facts while researching this "film". Stuart Wall, the writer/producer appeared on People's Court in the early 90's to sue the producers of a doc called "Scream Queens" for using a still from "Hellroller". The 13 minute clip is both sad and hilarious, Judge Wapner clearly couldn't give less of a fuck. And Stuart Wall is one of the creepiest dudes I've ever seen, here's a link . Also, "Hellroller" is the only credit on Stuart Wall's Imdb. http://www.imdb.com/...ref_=fn_al_tt_1
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