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Colfax McLiverneck

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Everything posted by Colfax McLiverneck

  1. Colfax McLiverneck
    A horse walks into an airport bar. The bartender says “How long is your hayover?”
  2. Colfax McLiverneck
    Don’t close the bar door before the horse walks in.
  3. Colfax McLiverneck

    Make hey while the nong mans.

    Colfax McLiverneck posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Make hey while the nong mans.
  4. Colfax McLiverneck
    Why is there even one way to skin a cat?
  5. Colfax McLiverneck
    Roses are red, corn is yellow, yo mamma looks like John Turturro
  6. Colfax McLiverneck
    Spoonerize her? I knarely blow her!
  7. Colfax McLiverneck
    The title of this episode is “The Long Wet Fart”. Stay tuned to find out why!
  8. Colfax McLiverneck
    Roses are red, corn is yellow, yo mamma looks like Lou Ferrigno
  9. Colfax McLiverneck
    The title of this episode is “Baloney Money”. Stay tuned to find out why!
  10. Colfax McLiverneck
    Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, where seldom is heard a discouraging word but often is smelled an odiferous turd.
  11. Colfax McLiverneck
    Opinions are like assholes—everyone except my uncle Vernon “Sphincterless” Jones has one.
  12. Colfax McLiverneck
    A horse walks into a bartender. The bartender says “Walk much, longface?”
  13. Colfax McLiverneck
    Roses are red, corn is yellow, yo mamma looks like Danny Trejo.
  14. Colfax McLiverneck
    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “We have a drink named after you!” The horse says “You have a drink named Rodeo Kyle the Ass-Lipped Wonder Stallion?”
  15. Colfax McLiverneck
    Idle hands are the turgid member’s playthings.
  16. Colfax McLiverneck
    Who would win in a fight: Rocky the Squirrel, Rocky Balboa, or songwriting team Felice and Boudleax Bryant, composers of the hit country song—and one of Tennessee's ten official state songs—“Rocky Top”?
  17. Colfax McLiverneck
    Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of your mom this morning. It was me. By which I imply that I slept with your mom last night. Which I did. Because I’m your father. Now take out the trash, son. And by trash, I mean your mom.
  18. Colfax McLiverneck

    You can lead a horse to water.

    Colfax McLiverneck posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    You can lead a horse to water.
  19. Colfax McLiverneck
    Nine out of ten dentists recommend your mom.
  20. Colfax McLiverneck
    Yesss
  21. Colfax McLiverneck
    A snitch in time gets nine stitches.
  22. Colfax McLiverneck
    I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I’m all out of ass and bubblegum, so it seems I’ve painted myself into something of an existential corner.
  23. Colfax McLiverneck
    Anti-comedy ain’t funny. You know what’s funny? A sideways butt with googly eyes making fart noises. That’s funny.
  24. Colfax McLiverneck
    Is the frenemy of my enemy my friendemy?
  25. Colfax McLiverneck
    Welcome to Comedy Bang. Regretfully, we had to let Bang number two go because he was humping the microphone.
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