Colfax McLiverneck

Well a bird bird bird in the hand is worth a word word word in the bush.

Let me not to the marriage of your chin and deez nuts admit impediments.

The minister’s cat is an anthropomorphic cat because an anthropomorphic cat is what the minister needs to rationalize his meaningless existence.

Comedy equals tragedy plus an entrepreneur and a little something we call plugs.

Open the door, 200 pounds of poop on the floor—somebody forgot to walk the dinosaur!

What rough me slouches toward your mom’s house to bump beasts?

Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to get a cup. For like, tea or whatever.

One fish, two fish, brown fish, poop fish

Hello darkness my old friend, remember the belt sander I loaned you in 2010?

It’ll be a cold day in hell tomorrow with temperatures dipping to the mid 30s by afternoon, so bundle up out there! And now to Susan with sports.

I can count on one hand the amount of fingers I have on that hand.

Pants down, hands up. Doze nuts are under arrest!

Pants down is hands down the best way to clown around.

When a planet hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s Melancholia

That’s no pizza—it’s amore!

When deez nuts hit your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s a poorly-executed tea-baggin’

I have three questions: Where are my pants, and How do you count questions?

When the moon hits your eye like an intangible asset incrementally devalued over a defined time period, that’s amoretization.

If you can’t stand the Heat, the Raptors are a solid option.

When the crease hits your pants right between your pendants that’s a moose knuckle

Put your peg back in your pants, Woodbeard.

Knicknack paddywack gave your mom a bone, this old man came pantsless home

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your pants and put your keys in this bowl

War is Peace. Pants are Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.

Let me not to the marriage of pants and floor admit impediments