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Vladimir Poutine

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Posts posted by Vladimir Poutine

  1. Posted

    7 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

    Here’s a question we haven’t asked in a long awhile: what are the top five movies you hope HDTGM will cover in the future? I think they’ve done a bunch of mine, so I’ll have to think about it myself...

    (Taylor’s not allowed to say Queen of the Damned :P )

    As of today:

     

    1) The Butterfly Effect

    2) Millennium

    3) Ladyhawk

    4) Mercury Rising

    5) The Cloverfield Paradoxes

    • Like 3

  3. Posted

    Regarding Paul's Gratuitous Nudity Extinction Hypothesis:

     

    The boobs in this movie and the director's commentary prompted me to wonder something: I keep hearing Paul lament that 90s movies were the last to feature gratuitous boobs. Most recently it was Time Cop, I think, that he claimed was among the last movies to feature gratuitous nudity. But, um... What is he talking about? Horror and comedy genre films still pretty consistently feature boobs-qua-boobs to this day. What's with the nostalgia for some imagined golden age of gratuitous nudity?

  4. Posted

    I knew it didn't really make sense and was trying to come up with a more accurate sensible way they could have phrased it:

     

    Two versions of the same matter can't occupy the same space? That doesn't work becasue if there are two versions, then it is by definition NOT the 'same' matter.

     

    Matter can't be doubled in the same space? No that's just a terrible line for a movie....although too terrible for this movie??

     

    Matter that is....?

     

    If there are two versions of.....? ah Fuck it....then I drifted into a trance.

    No matter where you go, there you are.

    • Like 1

  6. Posted

    Regarding the plot point that the same matter can't occupy the same space at the same time. Isn't that true for any matter? I think you've got nuclear fusion in that case. But even going by the movie's definition that holding hands counts as occupying the same space but it has to be the "same matter" our bodies are constantly replacing our skin. So unless you went back in time just a few days and shook hands with your past self it isn't the same matter.

    I think it's actually worse than that. A law that says "The same matter cannot occupy the same place at the same time" is just another way of saying, "The same matter has to be somewhere else at any given time because it can't be occupying the space where it is." This is a supremely nihilist law of physics that requires that the only space matter cannot occupy is the space the matter is occupying at that moment.

     

    I get that all science fiction has to invent new physical laws or imagine that today's technological hurdles have been surmounted (Star Wars has The Force, Star Trek has Warp Drive...) but it seems pretty glaring to me that Time Cop's contribution to physics is to forbid existence.

    • Like 1

  10. Posted

    This wasn't dwelt on for obvious reasons, but revisiting this movie I was horrified by how casually people with mental disabilities and disorders were equated with chimps. (Larry can't experiment on an ape so he tries the simple groundskeeper instead.) Rise of the Planet of the Apes does the same thing. (Desperate to cure his grandfather's Alzheimer's, James Franco sets out to make an ape smarter.) I feel like I've seen this trope in a bunch of movies, too, but I can't recall which. Am I wrong about this?

  13. Posted

    After long consideration I've decided that I agree with New Line: this is a Stephen King movie. I don't mean that he wrote it or has any creative influence whatsoever. I mean that it has a painfully uncomfortable portrayal of a "simple" person, supernatural forces with no internal logic or consistency, and every single character is irredeemable and abusive. What's more, by these criteria not only is Lawnmower Man properly identified as a Stephen King film, but so is Punch Drunk Love, The Number 23, and Leprechaun.

    • Like 4

  14. Posted

    "Couldn't he have just been at one of the regular computer terminals in the room?"

     

    This speaks to Jason's question: why do they have to simulate weightlessness with gigantic cybergyros? The only reason you'd need something like that would be if you wanted to simulate involuntary movements being forced on a subject, like being trapped in a love goo trap or being knocked around by a wrathful cybernetic god creature.

    • Like 3

  15. Posted

    Paul and company apologize in this episode for not knowing the biblical story of Job well enough to compare it to the movie's pilot, but it's worth pointing out that the movie's writers clearly didn't know the story either.

     

    Father Abusey McBeating mutters this dubious exposition for the audience's benefit: "He brings the wrath of the Lord on himself, just like his namesake." I know that he's a horrible priest, but even the worst priest wouldn't get the basics of the biblical story of Job so wrong. Job wasn't an object of God's wrath, and he certainly didn't do anything to invite the wrath of God. The entire point of the biblical story is that Job is so blessed and praised by God that he becomes a target of Satan. This isn't a minor detail or a quibble over interpretation. For a bad priest to say Job invited God's wrath would be as plausible as a bad doctor prescribing nacho cheese sauce to treat syphilis or an art historian describing the Venus de Milo as a sculpture celebrating the body of a double amputee. It's not bad, it's flat out bonkers.

     

     

    • Like 7

  18. Posted

    I forget: In the subplot where EDI decides to play out an old hypothetical war scenario, does Josh Lucas try to explain he's on a fool's errand by playing Tic Tac Toe with EDI? Because I feel like maybe one time I heard that this is an effective way to explain the pointlessness of hypermilitary aggression to artificial teenage boys who are mistakenly playing one of those war ga... uh... scenarios.

  21. Posted

    This is conservatively among my five favorite HDTGM episodes. Liberally it's one of my top three. Fascistically it's just okay, but anarchically it's just great like all the episodes.

     

    Also, I'd like to applaud the HDTGM team for spending the last week hammering the term "buns" into my mind.

    • Like 1

  24. Posted

    Also: Does this episode not firmly establish once and for all that Jason really was space-vampire glamoured by Mathilda May? He's hallucinating and seeing her everywhere. I look forward to future episodes in which Jason shouts at Paul, "Let me go! Get outta there you bitch! Why are you so perfect?!"

    • Like 2

  25. Posted

    I'm going to cut Paul some slack for missing the Biblical allegory. Why? Because there's no mention of apples in Genesis. Eve is tempted by the fruit of the tree of knowledge. The reason it's depicted as an apple in western artwork likely stems from a Latin pun: by eating the malum (apple), Eve contracted mālum (evil). Since Paul is a rigorous scholar of religious texts, it's no wonder he didn't recognize the bastardized version of the...

     

    Oh, who the fuck am I kidding. Come on, Paul, how did you miss this?!?!?!

    • Like 7
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