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About EliN.G.Ross

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  1. EliN.G.Ross

    Episode 129 - The Apple: LIVE!

    ok, so was i the only one who felt this movie was the prequel/sequel to Repo Man (1984)? the key is the ending, with Mr. Topps and his magic car. in repo man, Miller tells Bud that there must have been a time when there were no people in the world, and as an explanation for the existence of people on earth, he says that people came there from the future, and they came in UFOs that were really time machines. and in the end of the film they reveal that the Chevy Malibu, which is a very similar car to the one used by Mr. Topps, they had been chasing had become such a UFO, and Miller and Bud, get into it and fly into space and presumably, thru time. my theory is this: Miller and Bud did travel thru time and had many adventures, but their relationship strained and Miller leaves bud on earth, but after so much time in contact with the alien they have become immortal, Bud, a self admitted "white suburban punk" grows old and becomes Boogaloo, and Miller, free of the corruption of mortality, becomes Mr. Topps. this means that when Miller/Mr. Topps. picks them up at the end of The Apple he is bringing them to the past, to live in harmony until another Alphie and Bibi, or maybe just Alphie i guess, eats the one of Bud/Boogalow's apples and falls from grace again, for like 4 years. it really kind of steps on the whole Genesis metaphor when you realizes that from Genesis to A?arit Ha-Yamim (hebrew end times) in this movie happens in like 1 years time. To summarize: Miller(Repo Man) = Mr. Topps = God(Hashem) Bud = Boogalow = the devil Alphie = Eve = Primogenitor(the first ancestor of all mankind) Bibi = the First Man = but also the messiah who brings the end of earth, and leads the chosen people to world beyond. i have attached 3 visual comparisons but i can't post them as images in the right size i guess. i don't know whats going on with that. hopefully you'll see what i mean.
  2. right? i still have hundreds of questions about those movies. most of them are like: "What!?" and "Why did that happen?" but more specifically, "when i was growing up as a child obsessed with jedi's and the force, the one question i never even thought to ask was 'what is the force?' and 'does the force have a scientific component that would make it seem less magical and more like having good blood pressure?', why is having the force now as magical as having a high white blood cell count?" it is amazing just how many of the good things of the original movies got ruined by the prequels. it would have been kind of sad, if it hadn't been so infuriating.
  3. "The Apple" is availiable on prime. its like a combination between eurovision, death race, the rocky horror picture show and the bible. watch it, it is one of the the most awful things i have ever seen, and i have watched all 11 episodes of cop rock.
  4. EliN.G.Ross

    Knock Off (1998)

    how did this not come up when i searched for it? oh well. the video is dead above so if you are curious to see the trailer which should give you some idea of how crazy this film is try this https://youtu.be/yPxHh7jC_ZY i forgot how much time Van Damme spends sliding around on the floor like an olympic curling champ. its one of my favorite crazy movies, very amusing and crazy as all hell.
  5. EliN.G.Ross

    Knock Off (1998)

    when you did Double Team, Hark Tsui's Van Damme/Rodman film i was pretty psyched, but i can't believe you haven't done the Van Damme/Rob Schneider movie he made directly afterwards. Knock Off (1998) is by far the strangest movie i have ever seen, the plot took me 3 full watches to understand, but i enjoyed each watching cuz this movie is like watching a Van Damme movie on acid, too much acid, like i imagine if alejedro jodorowski had made a American produced hong kong action movie, it would look like this. the camera zooms in and out of the sniper rifles scope, a man gets killed when a booby trapped safe launches a rocket sending him into the air and then exploding, the plot revolves around terrorists putting small grenades the size of hearing aid batteries into counterfeit jeans!? it is truly insane from start to head-scratching finish. i don't know why anyone would have agreed to fund this movie, but im guessing cocaine was involved. its a spy movie about counterfeit jeans with van damme looking like a crazy person throughout. please look into this movie. its better and more insane than Double Team by like 100 times. i think its supposed to be an amusing kung fu movie but it comes off like an LSD hallucination combined with paranoia. im a little shocked it hasn't been recommended before. but i found nothing when i searched. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120724/
  6. i literally cannot believe they never did this one, or haven't yet. it's, i don't know, nonsensical plot, weird racist cgi characters and questionable acting and directing choices surely earns it a place among the likes of howard the duck. i hate that movie, and while i understand with crystal clarity what star wars fans, i am one, are supposed to know the plot is, it doesn't tell it correctly or in an interesting way, when i realized that they had to do a third lap of pod racing, i wanted to stab myself in the eyes. now whenever i see a movie with over the top, pointless and completely unneeded cgi action sequences in movies i turn to the person next to me and say, "now that's what i call podracing!". now that's what i call podracing? now that's what i call podracing!? what!? seriously, i need June to make some sort of sense at this damn movie, cuz i swear that movie plot the fans explain to me happened, it didn't happen in the film i saw. maybe its too well trodden territory but i think listening to june's take on this movie might salvage some of the shattered chunks of what used to be my childhood hopes and dreams.