Dead_Armadillos

Deliver de letter de sooner de better. De later de letter de madder I getter.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 16, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the tush, but I'm not taking anal double-penetration for one measly parakeet.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 25, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• A bird in the hand

This town ain't big enough for the two of us. Now get out of here, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!

By Dead_Armadillos, March 10, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Elbowjob

I've been told that the secret of a successful egg farmer is to never count your baskets before supper.

By Dead_Armadillos, November 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

You'd get back to work if you had any sense, but the one thing we need is a left-handed monkey wrench.

By Dead_Armadillos, August 29, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Losers smoke meth, nerds manipulate Math, but Thoreau humped us all with his unique civil path.

By Dead_Armadillos, April 26, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

The Ol' Glory Hole truck stop... Where the bathroom attendants are a bunch of dicks and the sodapop is colder than room temperature.

By Dead_Armadillos, April 18, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Look. I'm not saying she's hot, but if she weren't my mom, I'd fuck her.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 11, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I had a dream last night, I dreamt I shot a bear. I shot him in the asshole and didn't touch a hair!

By Dead_Armadillos, December 3, 2015 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Knock three times on the ceiling if you love me. Let me make you a drink if the answer is no.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

If Philip Seymour Hoffman were reincarnated, would he in fact come back as a refill? (Re-Phil)

By Dead_Armadillos, February 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Bison from Buffalo, which bison from Buffalo bully, themselves bully bison from Buffalo.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I screamed "Iced Cream" when I awoke from my wet dream that I had unknowingly redeemed.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 16, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Search far and wide, said Urkel, but there is no word that rhymes with 'purple'.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 16, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I'll never say it again; Never again say "never again" unless you're sure you will never say it again.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 25, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Never
• again

Of the fifteen men on a dead man's chest, police have twelve of the suspects in custody awaiting charges of manslaughter.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 25, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Penis

Three guys walk into a bar. They ended up drinking responsibly and shared a nice conversation, but lost touch with each other afterwards.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 26, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Boobs

Fish and visitors smell after three days, so please tell your mother to stop packing her suitcase with trout.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 4, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Ooh La La

There's more than one way to skin a cat, but no one has yet taught Mittens to do her darn taxes.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 4, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

It's the hokey pokey, man. That's what it's all about.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 10, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Edible socks

Dam the river, damn the torpedoes, and damn you!

By Dead_Armadillos, March 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Butterbreath

This will be the last time I tell you: I never repeat myself.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Cha-moneh

He may be Homey D. Clown, but he's my homey and you haven't the right to call him a clown.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Nothing says 'I love you' more than the way my mother chews my food up before spitting it into my mouth.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 16, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Funday Funday Funday

Some might say it's a cowlick; I think it's a tail wing and I'm just naturally aerodynamic.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 22, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Taint aint quaint