This town ain't big enough for the two of us. Now get out of here, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!

[This town ain't big enough for the two of us. Now get out of here, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!]

Thanks man! You make me feel special!

[He may be Homey D. Clown, but he's my homey and you haven't the right to call him a clown.]

Jive turkeys

[This will be the last time I tell you: I never repeat myself.]

Jive honkies

[Dam the river, damn the torpedoes, and damn you!]

Wasabi

[Episode 407 - Shut the Fuck Door!]

Olivier and Wiliger made me LOL in my fucking pants. I hope to hear from them again, maybe in a showdown with Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland.

[It's the hokey pokey, man. That's what it's all about.]

That song is riddled with contractions.

[This town ain't big enough for the two of us. Now get out of here, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!]

Ba da da da duh duh duh

[There's more than one way to skin a cat, but no one has yet taught Mittens to do her darn taxes.]

Ooohn gowah

[Fish and visitors smell after three days, so please tell your mother to stop packing her suitcase with trout.]

8==D

[Episode 206 — The San Diego Mindset]

Wow, what a side splitting episode! I do have to say that I appreciated the over-saturated salad eating bit, but it was really killing me after about 20 minutes in.

[Three guys walk into a bar. They ended up drinking responsibly and shared a nice conversation, but lost touch with each other afterwards.]

Three guys walk into a bar. They ended up drinking responsibly and shared a nice conversation, but lost touch with each other afterwards.

[They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the tush, but I'm not taking anal double-penetration for one measly parakeet.]

Now, I might consider it for a European swallow.

[Of the fifteen men on a dead man's chest, police have twelve of the suspects in custody awaiting charges of manslaughter.]

Vajina

[I'll never say it again; Never again say "never again" unless you're sure you will never say it again.]

Peeeeeeeeeenis

[Deliver de letter de sooner de better. De later de letter de madder I getter.]

(~);-)

[Search far and wide, said Urkel, but there is no word that rhymes with 'purple'.]

(~);-)

[I screamed "Iced Cream" when I awoke from my wet dream that I had unknowingly redeemed.]

(~):-)

[Bison from Buffalo, which bison from Buffalo bully, themselves bully bison from Buffalo.]

An extended explanation of the meaning of the grammatically correct sentence "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

 

<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo>

[If Philip Seymour Hoffman were reincarnated, would he in fact come back as a refill? (Re-Phil)]

(~):-)

[Knock three times on the ceiling if you love me. Let me make you a drink if the answer is no.]

(~)

[Look. I'm not saying she's hot, but if she weren't my mom, I'd fuck her.]

(~};-)

[I had a dream last night, I dreamt I shot a bear. I shot him in the asshole and didn't touch a hair!]

My grandpa used to say this to us at the breakfast table every morning. This was often followed by a scolding from my grandma.