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JackMeyers

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Everything posted by JackMeyers

  1. JackMeyers

    Heartbeeps (1981)

    The big movie debut for Andy Kaufman. Not good. Sooooo disappointing for fans who loved his weird standup, Elvis imitations and Mighty Mouse. Bernadette Peters is her usual awful self, Randy Quaid looks like he is coked to the gills and everything is just so slow and bad. Rip this turd apart.
  2. JackMeyers

    The Voices (2014)

    Ryan Reynolds makes a bizarre comedy (?) about a sad sack psycho who speaks to his cat (played by Reynolds imitating Shrek) and his dog (also played by Reynolds imitating Swingblade guy maybe) who kills and dismembers his English co worker. Then the movie goes on for another 100 minutes of tedium and craziness with Anna Kendrick trying her best to remember that the residuals from Twilight will pay the bills. I mumbled to myself over and over how the fuck did this get made! It is free everywhere, HULU, Amazon Prime, check it out.
  3. JackMeyers

    Bedazzled (2000)

    A horrible remake of a great movie originally starring Peter Cook and Dudley Moore with Raquel Welch in the role she was born to play...Lust. Instead we get George of the Jungle and a model who thinks she can act. What makes this movie so awful is the shadow it cast over the brilliant original. It would be like remaking Citizen Kane and putting Tom Green in the lead. Rip this turd apart.
  4. JackMeyers

    Up the Academy

    A movie so bad that William Gaines, founder of Mad Magazine and notorious cheapskate, offered to refund the ticket price to anyone who saw this movie because it was associated with Mad.
  5. JackMeyers

    She-Devil

    Rosanne Barr and Meryl Streep together at last. The movie they would both like to forget. Further proof that awards mean nothing, Meryl Streep was nominated for a Golden Globe for this steaming pile of shit. Truly I want to know...HOW DID THIS GET MADE!!!
  6. JackMeyers

    Worst Vanity Projects

    Back when you did Zardoz you asked for worst Vanity projects, here's my list... Heavens Gate Shanghai Express The Razor's Edge One From The Heart Cleopatra (1963) Under the Cherry Moon Beyond the Sea Caligula Cool As Ice Cutthroat Island Falling From Grace Give My Regards to Broad Street Magical Mystery Tour Harlem Nights Lady In the Water The Mirror has Two Faces Swept Away The Hobbit Can you guys think of any others?
  7. JackMeyers

    Butterfly

    Yes, money can even buy you a Golden Globe, I guess they didn't have enough to buy an Oscar. This movie made a laughing stock of the Globes and is a constant reminder whenever someone says they are more real than the Oscars.
  8. JackMeyers

    Butterfly

    The year is 1982 and Pia Zadora is about to became a major star...or not. This movie has it all. Orson FREAKING Welles, Stacy "I was paid in cocaine" Keach, June "Lassie get your ass home" Lockhart, Ed "Here's Johnny!" McMahon, the incredible George "Buck" Flower and many more. Ennio "The Good The Bad and the Ugly" Morricone did music for this stinker. I will leave you with this line in the movie... "If it feels good it must be good and if that's bad then I want to be bad" I rest my case.
  9. JackMeyers

    I Woke Up Early The Day I Died

    I haven't seen this in the forum so I apologize if it has already shown up. How about the legendary Ed Wood's last produced script, Billy Zane being the Zaniest, NO DIALOGUE!, ambient noises for sound, a huge cast of b list stars including Leif Garrett, Tippi Hedren, Andrew McCarthy, Ron Perlman, RAIN PHOENIX and many many more. Almost unwatchable. Put this on your list of must see turkeys!
  10. JackMeyers

    The Number 23 (2007)

    An unbearable movie, I own it and have never been able to watch it all the way through. May God have mercy on your souls should you try to watch the whole thing.
  11. My list of some really bad movies with talented people... The Master of Disguise (Dana Carvey) Tusk (Kevin Smith) Plan 9 From Outer Space Fire Walk With Me Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend The Linguini Incident or Houdini and Co. Motherhood (grossed 88 pounds in UK!) Red Sonja Vampire in Brooklyn Omega Man Ghost Dog Way of the Samurai Raising Cain (John Lithgow) Pretty Maids All In A Row ( Rock Hudson Gene Roddenberry) Prisoner of Zenda or The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu (Peter Sellers) Erik The Viking Tideland (Terry Gilliam) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Enders Game Glitter Son of the Mask Ed Zathura My apologies if you have already done any of these I tried to cross reference with your Itunes list. Loved you guys in the League and Burning Love! Keep up the great work Jack M.
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