Glen Toran

Massively off topic, but...is anyone a Game of Thrones fan like me here? Because I have just heard a huge...and I mean massive...spoiler from someone who was an extra on it. (a lot of it is filmed locally) If you want to know it...and it might be bollocks...I could spoiler tag or pm it for you if anyone is interested.

Another good choice.

I rewatched the third and final series of Boosh a few weeks ago on Netflix, it was a lot better than I remembered it being. And yes, I too will be rewatch Toast clips for a few hours. An Actors and Prostitutes Blow Football Tournament is possibly one of the finest sporting ideas ever! My favourite bit of Toast (apart from the insane Bruce Forsyth/Nigerian princess lodger in the pilot) is when he's confronting Ray Purchase on the top of an open topped bus and tells Purchase his wife is a prostitute. Purchase denies this scurillous allegation while standing in front of a giant billboard that has a photo of the sexy Mrs Purchase that says 'Boys, for a good time ring Mrs Purchase on 020 654 etc...'

"Ray 'FUCKING' Purchase!" I do have a major boner for Mrs Purchase though.

Yeah. I can fully understand, he does seem a self righteous ballbag, but I still just cant let his ridiculous blethering ruin either of those classics for me. What about Toast of London? (See avatar) That's his very much more stable writing partner Arthur Mathews' gig along with the tour de force that is Matt Berry. Its got to go right up there with the previously mentioned two. Also, slightly off topic, the one off Alan Partridge special last week, Scissored Isle, had me near choking with laughter more than a few times.

Aww, okay then, just for the gosh darned heck of it. You just cant go wrong with a Mrs Doyle gif.

Im too embarrassed.

And now, 16 years later, just the mention of the involvement of those 2 very names would warn you off a movie quicker than if you saw their faces appear on a street map after googling them on a law enforcement website. Which is entirely possible in Mel's case.

Wait a minute?! The Holly Willoughby, the wholesome UK breakfast TV show presenter usually found talking about fashion tips or "ladies" problems?!!

Is it Nottingham where everyone is 'me duck'?

Bout ye. You from Belfast too like? Thats they way we mengle arr vowills, so it is. Youze cudden bate it wi' a big stick.

Watch a bit longer.....

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2145829/ I feel a little ashamed about recommending this turd as it was filmed locally but it really is shite. Robots from somewhere unspecified in the the galaxy have taken over earth and implanted what's left of humanity with tracking devices that look like those huge ear deforming hipster earrings, only stuck in their necks. Seeing as I have the same technology on my phone that I cant even see if I take the back of my phone, this does not seem that impressive. Everyone is under house arrest or curfew or something. Well they arent allowed out on pain of horrible death. Anyway the planet seems to be ruled from an unamed small northern British seaside town for some reason...well why not? (actually the neighbouring towns of Bangor and Donaghadee in County Down and , I think, also Douglas on the Isle of Man). The robo ruler is a genuinely creepy looking robot midget/child hybrid thing. The small hands make him ultra creepy. Within the first few minutes we see some fella go doolally and run out into the street (Holborn Ave, Bangor) in his jimjams in the pouring rain to pathetically confront a giant robot cop in a scenery chewing meltdown and get incinerated by a death ray for his trouble. When his watching and understandably traumitised 8 year old son runs out to the smouldering remains of his father...oh, did I mention this was a kids film?...the child too is about to be incinerzapped when he is saved by passing human collaborator and robophile Ben Kingsley who leaves the child with neighbour the always lovely Gillian Anderson and her wisecracking brood of stage school brattery. Its down hill from there. Traumachild manages to disable the GPS implant technology of the interstellar travelling alien robots within minutes by hitting it with sticks or something. The kids sneak out. They dodge killer robot cops. They meet up with an underground Resistance organisation which was more convincingly portrayed in the South Park Movie. They run around a bit. They take to the hills. They run around a bit more. Ghandi tries to hit on Agent Scully (which is even creepier than the Tyrion Lannisterbot), The kids find their dad, Scully's presumed dead fighter pilot husband hiding out in the hills with 'La Resistance'. Lots of people are randomly tortured by Ghandi on whats obviously a fetish bondage rack with wires and LEDs taped to it - kids movie, remember? 'La Resistance' somehow find the last working Spitfire (the only thing worth seeing in this whole farrago, a genuinely beautiful plane, possibly the most beautiful machine ever made). Presumed lost dad and his eldest son shoot down a giant robot spaceship hovering over Bangor with this WW2 fighter plane -suck on that Independence Day! For some reason - because Id lost interest long before by then and was just fast forwarding to see what local places I recognised - the robots say 'fuck it, this aint worth the hassle' & piss off whence they came. Cue a Bag End Hobbit type revel in La Resistance's hideaway at the end. Pish. Utter pish. This opened on 300 screens in the UK on the opening weekend and took in a grand total of just over £4000. Thats roughly 14 quid a screen.

Google 'Derek and Clive' & listen to the clips on youtube or somewhere. Thats the reason why Dudley was a bit of a small hero to British teenage boys in the 70s. And Peter Cook too, of course. Utter hilarious filth. I havent listened to any Derek and Clive in years. I wonder if theyve stood the test of time? Like with a lot of Python stuff, I suspect not.

High Rise was one of two movies rilmed on location here in my home town in the past few years. The other being Robot Overlords, and the less said about that the better....in fact, now that I think of it Robot Overlords would be ideal HDTGM fodder. Most the interior shots of High Rise were shot in the soon to be demolished municpal Leisure Centre and swimming pool which is a not going to be missed 70s brutalist nightmare of exposed concrete and weird angles. And the walled garden is an actual place which is quite as lovely in real life as it looks in the movie and free to the public...and only about 500 yards from the public housing estate (project) where I grew up as a teenager.

In answer to the only question that any straight male was ever asked about the Spice Girls in the late 90s , my answer was, and still is - in order - Ginger, Scary, Sporty, Baby, Posh.

Now that is a man who knows how to quell a rampaging unruly mob.

I love those books. The new, I think final one, is due out soon. I had to wipe a solitary manly tear away* when I read the part about that heartless bastard Rankin being forced to console poor dying wee Levitas. * By 'wipe a solitary manly tear away' I actually mean blubbed like a well skelped kid.

Yeah, its a pretty decent entertaining well made film. A bit of a bizarre choice so I hope they have some weird off the wall plan of approaching it. What good Connery flick next? The Man Who Would Be King? Awesome movie!

And now the thread has lurched from run of the mill comic book nerdery to allegedly delicious Canadian eateries. I'd be a liar if I said that this wasnt a very welcome and appetising turn of events.

I hated this film. Mostly because I loathe Mickey Rourke and thought Lisa Bonet was as sexy as treading in dog shit. I did figure out the Lou Ciphre thing and its unusual for me to work out even pish easy shite like that, so that's how obvious that was. Though I did enjoy yer man getting his head boiled in that big pot of gumbo. At the end I'd given up caring about who or where the fuck Johnny Fantastic or whatever the buggers name was, was. And if I end up going to hell (50/50 at this stage) then I hope the transport is a sight more gothic and stylish than a warehouse elevator.

Fucking A one, sunshine! It never occured to me that it wasnt called Avengers Assemble outwith the UK even though I know its a reasonably common practice. Theres a probably apocraphyl story that the Oscar winning The Madness of King George was changed from its original title The Madness of George III because stoooopid American audiences would think it was a sequel because youre all thick as shit or something, stupid yanks, hur hur hur. When in reality it was changed because there was no need for the roman numerals as the very first King that most Americans think of would usually be George III as he was your last one before that tax evasion scheme from all those mega rich white dudes that you call the American Revolution happened, and he is commonly just thought of as King George. At a stretch...a rather long long stretch, you could say that they should have left the III in for thick Brits so that they could tell which one of the 6 Georges that we have available it was referring to. Stupid British, hur hur hur. That doesnt hold much water either though because of all the King Georges hes the most famous and the first to spring to mind, mainly for being as mad as a rat in a biscuit tin. And for losing the 13 colonies, though that was hardly his fault, due to his condition. Inept fucktard Prime ministers and cabinets are hardly a new thing. He was supposedly a decent kindly old cove when not incapacitated. Now is there anyone left on either side of the Atlantic that I havent offended there?

Oh that boat sailed decades before. Remember Zardoz? And when he married old Paul McCartney?

Wasps are purely a summer insect here, usually late summer/early autumn. Youre lucky that you missed the wasp season on your recent trip to the British Isles, because though we only have them for a month or so, when we do, the wee fuckers are everywhere like bad tempered stripey flies that hurt a lot.

Paul F Tompkins is really good whenever hes on, I only knew him from Bojack Horseman so his appearances made me look up his other stuff. That girl, I forget her name, from Broad City who guested on the Hercules in New York episode was great. Thats one of my favourite episodes too. And Chelsea Perretti in the Suckerpunch episode more or less moistening her knickers over the cook fella was great. Mind you, she could read the Toronto yellow pages in Croatian and I'd listen. Im a little bit in love with her.