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Posts posted by SirVizzle
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AAAAAND, I can use my AA keychain as a bottle opener!
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Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure the medical term is kyphosis. Stenosis refers to narrowing of a vessel or spinal canal.
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Sir, in light of recent events, you'll have to sign this acknowledgment, waiver and consent form if you want to engage in any tickling activities with Elmo.
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When in Phoenix, do as the Phoenicians do: develop the first extensively-circulated alphabet, rise to a global seafaring and trade power, but ultimately succumb to a succession of foreign rulers and fade to relative obscurity by 2 a.m.
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I was amazed that I had somehow tricked everyone into believing that the office was mine and that I wasn't deaf. Or so I thought, until I realized everyone was dead! I can see dead people!
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Especially when you're dressing it in drag for Uncle Frank/Aunt Francine, who really needs a pick-me-up right now, because her hormone therapy is really kicking her ass.
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Jerry! Jerry honey, would you get me another bottle of wine?!
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God, I hope this works.
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Fat dads, you know what I'm talking about. Everyone else, take a break.
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She didn't tell me that I'd take her herpes per stirpes*, but I got the purple slurpees, and that's the durnkey's tits.
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*It's funny, and it rhymes, trust me. Or don't. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Per_stirpes
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Is a "cum tree," like, where you hang your gym socks up to dry?
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Dutch dikes, Dutch boys...Hey, don't Dutch me there!
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Actual quote from Captain Janeway.
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Cause of death: blunt force trauma.
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Could've been a hammer. Maybe. That would be funny.
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Just like Jack and Steve, they like to Jack and Skeeve, but when the place is empty they get on with Jackin Me!
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To the beat of "Whatcha Want" by those impish scamps The Beatsie Boys.
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And may I say, in my experince, shouting "NO WHAMMIES!" doesn't help.
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I disagree. Her business plan clearly states that she would sell seashells *by* the seashore. In a busy boardwalk setting, a lot of people aren't going to want to go all the way down to the water to pick over what's left after she's already collected the best shells.
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I'm in for a 40 percent stake at $200,000. We're going to get you an LLC, some branding, some advertising, and this is going to be a sensation.
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Is that to the tune of "She'll be Comin' Round the Mountain"?
My uncle owns a private security company called Guard Dammit.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
Before he bought it, it was called OMI Guard