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SirVizzle

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Everything posted by SirVizzle

  1. SirVizzle
    Before he bought it, it was called OMI Guard
  2. SirVizzle
    AAAAAND, I can use my AA keychain as a bottle opener!
  3. SirVizzle
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  6. SirVizzle
    I Androme-dare you.
  7. SirVizzle
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  8. SirVizzle
    Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure the medical term is kyphosis. Stenosis refers to narrowing of a vessel or spinal canal.
  9. SirVizzle

    Tickle me elmo, guv'nah!

    SirVizzle replied to Shampoodler's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Sir, in light of recent events, you'll have to sign this acknowledgment, waiver and consent form if you want to engage in any tickling activities with Elmo.
  10. SirVizzle
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  11. SirVizzle
    When in Phoenix, do as the Phoenicians do: develop the first extensively-circulated alphabet, rise to a global seafaring and trade power, but ultimately succumb to a succession of foreign rulers and fade to relative obscurity by 2 a.m.
  12. SirVizzle
    I was amazed that I had somehow tricked everyone into believing that the office was mine and that I wasn't deaf. Or so I thought, until I realized everyone was dead! I can see dead people!
  13. SirVizzle
    Especially when you're dressing it in drag for Uncle Frank/Aunt Francine, who really needs a pick-me-up right now, because her hormone therapy is really kicking her ass. Jerry! Jerry honey, would you get me another bottle of wine?! God, I hope this works.
  14. SirVizzle
    Fat dads, you know what I'm talking about. Everyone else, take a break.
  15. SirVizzle

    But Mr.Murphy my mother birthed me

    SirVizzle replied to ThomasWSumnersIII's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    She didn't tell me that I'd take her herpes per stirpes*, but I got the purple slurpees, and that's the durnkey's tits. *It's funny, and it rhymes, trust me. Or don't. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Per_stirpes
  16. SirVizzle
    Is a "cum tree," like, where you hang your gym socks up to dry?
  17. SirVizzle
    Dutch dikes, Dutch boys...Hey, don't Dutch me there!
  18. SirVizzle
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  19. SirVizzle
    Actual quote from Captain Janeway.
  20. SirVizzle
    Cause of death: blunt force trauma. Could've been a hammer. Maybe. That would be funny.
  21. SirVizzle
    Just like Jack and Steve, they like to Jack and Skeeve, but when the place is empty they get on with Jackin Me! To the beat of "Whatcha Want" by those impish scamps The Beatsie Boys.
  22. SirVizzle
    And may I say, in my experince, shouting "NO WHAMMIES!" doesn't help.
  23. SirVizzle
    I disagree. Her business plan clearly states that she would sell seashells *by* the seashore. In a busy boardwalk setting, a lot of people aren't going to want to go all the way down to the water to pick over what's left after she's already collected the best shells. I'm in for a 40 percent stake at $200,000. We're going to get you an LLC, some branding, some advertising, and this is going to be a sensation.
  24. SirVizzle
    But such a charming name: "polyorchid". https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyorchidism
  25. SirVizzle
    Is that to the tune of "She'll be Comin' Round the Mountain"?
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