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@AnchorBryant

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About @AnchorBryant

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    http://www.seattlecomedy.org/index.php/podcasts/news/
  1. You know why Beyonce doesn't keep any coasters in the house? She really likes her coffee table.
  2. The NHL decided to have Kid Rock play the all star game. WTF?
  3. They say a watched pot never boils, so why do my hands hurt so bad?
  4. U Tattoing U2 on Me? Is the joke I should have made in episode 3 of that show.
  5. Life gave me lemons so I tried to make lemonade but life forgot the sugar and water so I sent him back to the store. Life is so irresponsible.
  6. A warm smile is the universal language of kindness and a serious indicator of a problematic fever. Get that checked out
  7. Happy Birthday!? No, today's the day I remember my placenta, mom. Never Forget.
  8. I got 99 problems and none of them are with bitches. Several are with women though. For example, my mom doesn't think I make good life choices, my wife won't touch my dinger, my sister doesn't respect me, and the barista at my local coffee shop never gets my name right. But the fact that I'm upset with them does not make them bitches. That's just rude. ...If you're wondering, world, yes I am aware I've already done a 99 problems one. I'm running out of popular sayings to toy with. Ssssorry.
  9. The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotations. Maybe. Someone should have written that down
  10. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. Today's guest knows all about the middle part
  11. The wise man has long ears and a short tongue, so women never seem satisfied with him. Poor wise man, poor poor wise man.
  12. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
  13. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. So bend over I can't kick that high
  14. If you can dream it, you can do it Shawndra. So get out of that coma and start dreaming of loving me again
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