TobiasJTurner

Good night, honey. I hope you dissapoint me less in the morning.

You've got a daschund named Hot Dog Bun and I've got a pug named Pancake Face. I guess what I'm saying is: will you marry me?

Who do blind people think they are? If I'm not supposed to pet your dog, then how come you get to bring your dog into a restaurant? #Trump2016

I can't eat that, I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and then I tell a bad joke that everyone's heard before.