gigi-tastic

I feel like that was written by a person who loves to brag about how they "Tell it like it is" and will be an asshole but excuse it by saying "Hey I'm just being honest!" Or some similar bullshit.

Ok so it's totally not really possible but you know what would have been great if at the end we see a flashback of Kendra talking to the mom about Kyle and his dad. The mom doesn't know that she's a witch and somehow the two meet and start chatting. And the mom will confess how worried she is that her son is going to turn into an utter BEAST like her ex husband . Which could be the reason for Kendra to specifically go to that school and to enact that curse. Trying to think about what a good meet cute for the mom and Kendra could be . Like maybe Kendra is a waitress and the mom is always really nice to her or something. Or because this is a dramatic ass movie and in fairy tales fairies in disguise and in distress reward people who help them maybe the mom stops to help her somehow because "I've got a son you're age". Thoughts on my new Beastly crackfic?

YES leave Zola out of this! Even if she had been with him as a nanny she's really working against the tide in this situation. She's not the parent who makes the decisions and is the person who decides how they want the child to be raised. She's the nanny. Her job is to take care of the child and follow her boss's parenting style . Not that she has to instill intense asshole tendencies into the kid but if the parent is really into appearances for instance kid Kyle might not be allowed to wear informal clothes, or if he was rude she might not be allowed to punish him if her boss wouldn't allow that. It really depends on how much control/ neglect Anchor Dad decided to have. If he just sort of left Kyle and Zola to themselves and never cared what Kyle said (he seems like he might try to get her in trouble with his dad) then maybe she could have had a chance if she got to him young enough. Even then though I don't think it would have done much good. In the end Kyle is still going to crave his father's approval and try to emulate him. He might have been an ok kid but I still think he would have transformed into an asshole teen if only to get daddy to notice and love him. if they had had Zola as his childhood nanny who left and came back that might have lent credibility to the idea that he had goodness in him and that he had transformed himself into a "beast" to make his father love him. But I think maybe that's too smart for this movie.

I would have to agree with you. I don't really think Kyle changed. I think he realized he was an asshole but that was more because he wants to break the curse and get the girl than any real soul searching in my opinion. To be honest I'm not sure such a curse could change someone like Kyle (or his dad ) into better people. Because they would always be partly motivated to break it to get their looks back . I'm not sure how genuine that kind of transformation can be if it's still motivated by vanity.

I fully feel that's Mary Kate's normal day to day wigs. The Olsen Twins always look like weird hobos to me and I feel like they have a wig collection.

Agreed! I feel like would have been great as like a dark Teen Witch gone wrong. Like the scene of Luis Guzmán telling that girl to break a leg. So Mary Kate has suddenly come into her powers or doesn't know how to keep a handle on them and is SO enraged by this duchenozzle's latest bullshit she accidentally curses him and she can't undo it. Maybe there's a scene showing beforehand of her taking her time to get ready and how much effort she put in for that to make sense.

So it looks like Henri Bendel is closing. I guess the guy from Simply Irresistible is going to have to find another department store to make restaurants for.

Actually I've always seem it as the witch/ fairy being... Fey and the old school rules of not missing with or offending the fey because they Will Fuck Your Shit Up. Not because they are evil per say just very touchy. Back then guest rights and civility/ courtesy were VERY important and you didn't refuse someone hospitality. Especially if you were a royal that was kind of your job. So I've always found the witch/fairy justified in most versions (ESPECIALLY this one) at least from her point of view. The Fey are supposed to be rash outlandish people. It would make perfect sense for her to do that. Honestly this dude got off easy.

Has anyone read the original version of Beauty and the Beast by Gabrielle-Suzanne de Villeneuve? It was published in 1740 and is apparently the oldest know modern version of the tale. It's like an actual novel I guess, it's been on my list of things to read for forever. I guess after she died another woman Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont pretty much stole it, and rewrote it to help teach English girls morals. Which might be where we get some of the stuff we have in it now because I knew the OG was weird and involved the Beasts mom going away to war and him turning down the fairy's sexual advances (I thought she showed up like a creep on his doorstep like in the movie) but everything else was a surprise. From Gabrielle's Wikipedia: "the Beast, a prince, lost his father at a young age. His mother had to wage war to defend his kingdom, and left him in the care of a rather evil fairy. This fairy attempted to seduce him as the prince became an adult. When he refused, she transformed him into the beast until someone would agree to marry him without knowing his past or that he was intelligent. In a neighboring kingdom, Beauty is the daughter of a king and a different fairy. Beauty's mother broke the laws of fairy society by falling in love with a human, so she was sentenced to remain in the fairy land and Beauty was sentenced to marry a hideous beast when she grew up. After Beauty's mother disappeared from earth, the evil fairy unsuccessfully attempted to take Beauty's life and marry her father. Beauty's aunt, another good fairy, intervened and changed Beauty's place with the dead daughter of a merchant for Beauty's protection, then placed the Beast in a magically hidden castle until Beauty grew up." First off I'm on the Beast's side no means no asshole! Secondly that's some Adore level shit trying to bang the kid you raised. Why does Beauty have to be punished for having a mortal father? Speaking of did he know his (wife? Baby mama?) was Fey and that she locked away in punishment for loving him? Or does he think she up and abandoned him ?cuz that's got to suck losing your wife then suddenly finding who you think is your kid dead (I assume that he doesn't know the aunt's plan).

There's are two really great books I can recommend where the Beast ends up deciding to stay a Beast at the end. The first is Rose Daughter by Robin McKinley (actually her second time rewriting Beauty and the Beast. Beauty was the first and is also good) and the second is from one of my favorite author's T . Kingfisher Bryony and Roses. She says that the former book was an inspiration for hers. All her stuff is great and if you like fairy tale or folklore based fiction check out her work.

In the original fairy tale Beauty is the youngest daughter of a once wealthy merchant. At the beginning of the story his fleet of ships are lost on a storm and the family loses everything. usually they end up moving from the city to the country because of their new found poverty. One day the family receives word that one of the ships survived with some of the cargo in tact. The father leaves on a trip to go recover the cargo and asks his daughters what they would like him to bring back as a gift for them. I forgot what the first two ask for but Beauty being the best of his daughters asks for only a rose because it's relatively worthless and won't cost him anything (or so she thinks). On his way back to his family the merchant is caught in a freak storm and takes refuge in the Breast's castle. There are no talking enchanted servants just sort of invisible ones? He finds a warm fire and a dinner set out for him and everything is fine until he gets ready to leave and sees an amazingly perfect rose which he picks for Beauty. This is what causes the Beast to fly into a rage and to demand the merchant must pay for taking his most prized possession because dude's really into his flowers. They come to an agreement that the merchant can go home to his family but either Beauty (the person who the rose is for) or the merchant has to return and live with the Beast. (Which is one way to get a roommate) In the end Beauty decides to go after forcing her father to tell her what is wrong. There's no deadline to get her to love her . Every night he asks her to marry him and every night she politely refuses. They actually are really civil in the tales I've read. He gives her clothes and jewelry. She still feels homesick though so he gives her a magic ring and mirror which will get her home and back to the castle. She's only supposed to stay for a week but her sisters make her stay for like a week and a day i think? And of course she feels awful and rushes back to find the Beast dying which makes her cry on him and profess her love which saves him like the movie. In several of the older ones her sisters purposefully try to keep her home and drive a wedge between them out of jealousy because women are each other's worst enemies am I right? (Sorry this is so long I love fairy tales/folklore/mythology! I'm a giant nerd)

Has there been any underwater pepper spray inventions because this tweet makes me feel unsafe.

Tales From Blockbuster is turning into a real sexual album. Kinkshaming Dolphins are going to become the next Marvin Gaye. Think of all the babies Jason could demand people give to him because of these songs!

June needs a song called Whores and Mothers (We're Both) .

Way off topic but last night I dreamt of a new episode of the show and when I woke up I was convinced that it was real for a good five minutes even though I couldn't remember any real details. I often use the podcast to fall asleep when I'm having trouble keeping my brain quiet. So I just assumed that I fell asleep on an amazing episode I had never heard of or had forgotten. All I remember of the dream was Jason being really extra. Truly he was the Jason of the group that dream episode. I was here for it!

Have Nicole Byer and/or Jason Statham dress up as a Megladond to be the shark and I'm sold. The idea of Statham in a megladon version of the Baby Shark costume is the new highlight of my week.

I kind of need Paul Jason and June to start a band now. I don't know why but I feel like a tambourine would be involved

For a hot second I thought you guys were talking about Paul Scheer and I was fully buying it? Sure Paul has a band he plays with . Then I started reading your comments and I was very worried because I don't think I can handle having Paul singing about sex. Then I realized I'm a fucking idiot and that Paul McCartney exists. This all happened in like a minute tops but oh wow what a minute.

Well I may have brought up them masturbating with dead fish so.... maybe?

Knowing our Dolphin Talk made the mini episode made me laugh

Yeah I agree. I don't know if this is kinkshaming so much as Katie not feeling comfortable with this kink and that's ok. Not everyone's kink is compatible and this doesn't sound like she felt safe or comfortable. You don't just spring that shit on people that's really rude. A considerate partner would have been like "Hey I'm into this would you be ok with it?" and get her consent to ... role play / talk dirty ( is that what this would be called? talk sickly?) Consent is key . Without the consideration for his partner to ask for her consent he's an asshole and people who don't bother for consent usually suck at sex because they don't bother to notice their partner's needs.

Katie... No girl. No. You need to ghost him. NOW! There's being kinky and there's demanding you say you have a life altering diseases people die from. What's next? smallpox or he is only into STI's? I mean I know my all time favorite bad movie Showgirls has the line "Everybody got AIDS and shit" but if your gonna try roleplaying Showgirls there's so many better moments.

I mean you have to admit that the Lady Anglerfish is a strong independent fish lady and it's hilarious how tiny the males are.

I'm personally more upset about them using their echo location to fucking kill baby dolphins and porpoises (though I'm not going to lie I kind of love the word porpicide) and then fucking PLAYING with the corpses. Like they don't eat them . They just kill them for shits and giggles. Or to fuck their mom's some more if they are baby dolphins. Which is why why it comes to aquatic mammals my favorite is narwhals. Unicorn and a whale all for the price of one!

Like orcas . Which are also technically dolphins. If the animal known as the KILLER whale is pretty much a beefy version of something maybe that thing deserves more respect and fear, just saying. Also fuck Sea World.