SideofMcG

Knock knock, WHO's there? Global Pandemic. Yes that's what the WHO is here to deal with.

Did you know you can now print out mattresses at home? I'll see you never at the bed shop.

Gulliver's lay-ups didn't count because of Gulliver's travels.

Don't feed your dog Scraps. Especially when Scraps is your cat.

If you can read this catchphrase then you're too close to the start of the podcast.

Lock down with your cock down.

Hark, what lightsabre through yonder window breaks? It is the Ewoks and Yoda is the sun.

I'm shaking my money maker, and by money maker I mean this empty coffee cup.

It's impolite to let imps alight on this flight.

Kareem can dream but can cream collect steam?

A poem about lovers and Crispin Glovers, Ah to heck wi' this, let's sue Zemeckidis

So much wonderfully wrong with this movie. - When they're playing Russian Roulette they offer odds of 20/1. For a world-renowned bad guy airplane casino they really don't have much of a grasp of probability! - So eh... HOW do you bet on a man fucking an alligator? Is it like the dude versus the snake - you wager on how long he'll last? - Why is Mcgillicuddy doing a cartoon sneak when he's moving around the plane? Definitely won't attract suspicion that way. - When the plane gets knocked about during the cockpit fight why does NOBODY GO TO CHECK WHAT'S HAPPENING? They assure passengers that everything is fine but don't bother going up to make sure the pilots haven't y'know, died or been beaten up or something? - WHY IS THERE NO SECURITY ON THIS PLANE EXCEPT FOR THE TWO DUDES RUNNING THE SHOW?

If you've gothic, font it.

Imma let you finish. I'm in the finishing business. My business is from Finland. Where they make the sharks.

Who's Afraid of Virginia's Wolves? Well Melvin's Pigs for a start. Poor oinkers never stood a chance. Divorce is hard on a farm.

Mustard for my real friends. Real Turds for my musty friends.

Eye of the Tiger, Knees of the Rhino, Endangered Stew is delicious.

Straitjackets are like jury duty. Mel Gibson's dislocated his shoulder to get out of both.

Are you a duck? Have you been yelled at by a pantsless man? Call 1-800 QUACK-COMPO now!

It's 2nd Amendment weather so roll up your sleeves and this punchline writes itself.

Don't hip hop job swap if you can't handle my hip hop floor mop.

Take me, shake me, but never wake 'n bake me.

Bunker? I hardly even knew her. Oh wait, no you said we should all go live in a bunker. I thought you meant I should BUNK her. And I was like - what does that mean?

Have you ever dunked on the devil in the pale moonlight? Hi I'm Michael Jordan and I'm the new Joker.

Call me crazy, call me lazy but never call me Jay-Z.