SideofMcG

Mowing the lawn, getting up at dawn, want a vindaloo? I'm having prawn.

I'm making the most of these Boston beans on toast and making the least of this foreskin full of yeast.

The airplane I just flew in on had broken arm rests. So boy are my arms tired. Did I do that right?

My frenemy's frenemy is my frfriend.

If you were me and I was you then who'd be M. Emmet Walsh?

Tragedy plus Time equals Trimgedy.

The theory behind Trickle Down Economics also explains why I, in the bottom bunk, used to wake up smelling of my brother's piss.

An American Tail 3: Fievel Goes QAnon

If the earth is flat then explain to me how Yahoo Serious' career never took off outside of Australia.

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Could it be, just like me you were recently tarred and feathered?

Who knows why the caged bird sings? THE SHADOW KNOWS!

And when you saw only one set of footprints it was when I had fucked off to get a coffee with my friend Jeff.

The Hills have Ayes. The Valleys have Neighs. I have turned to crime because crime always pays.

Can I pay this bill with Ziptocurrency? And by that I mean, the currency I keep in my pants... by which I mean the dollar bills in my pockets.

Hose me down Rosie, I'm too warm and cosy.

Bringing home the bacon, ignoring messes that I'm makin'. I'm getting less attention so it's heart attacks I'm fakin'.

I can't trust you if I can't eat crusts with you

If you're happy and you know it sit there in self-satisfied silence.

Cultural Reference + Butt Joke = Catchphrase Superstardom

In an old school mystery novel, if an accent has been murdered you can be sure the Gerard Butler did it.

True Crime is great but I'm really into Fictious Law-Abiding podcasts at the minute.

It might be a Game of Thrones to you but for us throne makers, it's a full time Job of Thrones.

People of Earth, show me your dirt. People of Mars, sell me your cars.

I hate that thin selfish muppet. It's all "Mee mee mee!" with that guy.

You can bring sexy back, I'm bringing this expired yoghurt back.