SideofMcG

A horse is a horse of course of course, but why does this horse always get blown off course? Paper Horses are shit.

Side effects may include listening to this podcast, death and taxes.

One. Two. Three. Four. Why am I eating off the floor?

It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it. And you're doing it wrong. A lot. So you're fired.

Everybody has a book in them. I hate my job in the Library Emergency Room.

Hands up who's forgotten it's casual racism Friday?

My warchest is just like my regular chest but it has a bullet hole in it.

Hump Day, Hump Week, Hump whatever you want but stay off my lawn you damn beatniks.

The truth hurts. But does it hurt as much as this rock I'm about to smack you upside the head with? We find out after this short commercial break.

My asshole is fighting with my nostrils. I'm staying out of it cause I don't care for Orifice Politics.

I'm grumpy every time I hear A E I O U. It's probably Irritable Vowel Syndrome.

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Sprinkle sugar on top and slide them up my thighs.

I can't feel my toes. I can't blow my nose. I'm a discombobulated gas cloud, that's just the way it goes.

If I wasn't meant to shove it up there then why did God appear in my dreams and tell me about the 2-for-1 lube sale happening at CVS?

If my voice is mocking then don't come a-knockin'. My confidence can't take it, I use sarcasm as a defence.

Have you been involved in an accident at work? Then call 1800-ADULT DIAPERS now.

If you can read this bumper sticker then you're literate. Congrazumulationsayes.

Snackwise we got Pork Scratchings and for you foodies the less-popular Cow Itchings

To everything turn, turn, turn, where d'ya want these ashes? Urn, urn, urn.

The Davy Jones Index is where they trade Monkee stocks.

Don't start never stoppin', Can't handle Pringles when they be poppin'

If you shank it they will come. Prison sex is weird man.

Please stand while I vibe out this week's catchphrase on my vintage theremin

Hugh's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf. Fuckin' scaredy-cat.

We're here for a funnel time, not a long ol' time. Hi and welcome to funnel time - the very short podcast for funnel owners and funnel lovers alike.