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About BeckyNatchez

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  1. I understand why we have laws against sexual behaviors with children and as I said I think my dad made a mistake. No one is on here defending child molesting. I don't want to get explicit, but there is a big continuum between innocent fatherly hugs and vicious violent rape. To pretend that sex of any kind is black and white is willful ignorance. . Just because someone made a bad decision doesn't make them a monster. I wouldn't say the caller is positive or brave at all. She sounds consumed with anger and vindictiveness. She spends every day spewing out her hate and insisting that everyone validate her opinions. She requires everyone in her presence to hear her story and respect her pain. That's exactly how my mom terrorized everyone in her life. It's wrong to equate what the caller went through to the worst tragic events anyone has ever gone through. I can respect that she feels betrayed by her exhusband, but many many people experience betrayal in their marriage. What about all the other terrible events people face across the world. Terrorism, starvation, disease, Alzheimer's. The world is full of survivors of horrible abusive relationships. How can Chris raise her pain up to the point of worshipfulness when the ex husband she hates so much is probably in a living hell worse than she ever experienced? It's no secret how horrible life is for incarcerated sex offenders.
  2. Hi trampus thanks for your reply. I'm going to sit with your mom's story and think about how it might apply to my situation. But I'm not pissed off with you. I'm listening and thinking about what you said. I feel like you are an example of a grace filled person. The world is not full of black and white absolutes. Your grandma might have done some monstrous behaviors, but she wasn't a monster. Your grandma's family was correct to stand up against the abuse, but the fact that they still love her is a sign of strength, not weakness. Thank you for allowing me to form my own opinions about what happened in my life. That kind of respect empowers me and gives me space to come to my own conclusions. I do think that my dad made a judgement error. I did get angry at him because his behavior caused a lot of trouble for me and my family. He should have known how rabidly people react to incest. I was forced to go through very heavy handed therapy. It felt like people were trying to brainwash me into accepting the one true interpretation of his behavior. I don't deny that I was abused, but the abuse didn't start until my dad went to prison. I was abused by therapists who hold an almost religious view that incest is always 100% victimization. They used to say it's ok if I liked it and it's okay that I love my dad, and then they'd insist that over time I would come to realize that he used and abused me. By the way, one of my therspists did proposition me sexually. I credit my dad for instilling me with the bravery to stand up to that abuser and tell on him. I understand that what the therapist did was wrong because I was under age and because he was in a position of authority over me which made me vunerable. I've been through years of therapy and the good therapists tell you that your feelings are valid, no matter if they are politically correct. We all have to conform our behavior to the law or face the consequences, but our feelings are our own and no one should try to tell us that our feelings are wrong. One thing that stood out to me in the call was the fact that the dad never denied it when he was confronted. My dad was the same way - he never lied about it. And like that guy from the story, my dad was great with kids. He is empathetic, patient and kind. I have no fear that my dad would ever be sexual with my step children. We have talked about it and he agrees that he made a mistake. Personally I am not philosophically opposed to the idea of kids learning about sex from their parents or other loving adults. That's better than getting a warped concept of sex from watching porn. Not that I think porn is evil or anything, it's just not reality. But my feelings and opinions notwithstanding, I wouldn't allow someone to violate any laws with my children. There is just too much hate ready to spew forth. We all need to be aware of the danger of getting caught up in this country's moral panic. I recognize that these are tough and volatile subjects and different people have different opinions. We are should all be free to think and feel however we want as long as we don't hurt other people. Sex is not as simple as people try to pretend. There are grey areas and things we don't usually talk about in public. People have a way of convincing themselves that what they are doing is ok, when sometimes it really isn't. When we make mistakes we should expect to be corrected, but it doesn't make us monsters.
  3. Jeeze, I don't know why Chris found this caller so graceful and inspiring. Human beings, even criminals, are NOT monsters. Hate speech like this is what tears families apart. My father and I had an intimate relationship when I was young and my step mom knew partly about it. When my birth mom found out she reacted the same like this caller. She called my dad a child molester and a monster and did everything she could to ensure that my dad got the longest prison sentence possible and never saw me again. Mom took on the role of hero victim, just like the caller. She told EVERYONE about my dad and me. People who play the hero victim are so encouraged and coddled by self righteous people in society. Defining me as a victim was way more abusive to me than any of the loving touches my dad and I shared. My dad served 5 years in prison and my step mom and I stood by him every step of the way. Love and support are what people in prison need, not calling them monsters. My dad is happily home with my step mom and I grew up to be happily married. People who equate sex offenders with serial killers need a reality check. Chris you really need to check yourself. You were falling all over yourself to praise the caller's strength and grace the entire hour. You were not accurate when you told her all the listeners approve of her and agree with her approach. I certainly didn't.
  4. This caller is a hoot, but also a tough nut to crack. I respect and thank him for his service to the kids at the group home. I would have liked to hear more about his job or his family relationships, but the caller was quick to steer the conversation back to his music career. Gethard tried to make it more personal, but after all it's the caller's hour and they can talk about whatever they want. The caller reminds me of that guy Kyle who rap battles Kanye. He's a funny cat who has inspired me to download the Spotify ap so I can hear some of his songs. I don't imagine that his music can complete with artists who expend more time and effort crafting individual songs, but it's a big world out there and perhaps he can find his niche.