CaptPukeFish

Give a man a fish for the rest of his life, for you are Fish Man - Giver of Fish.

They say write what you know, soooo, "you know".

Take a shit on Mr. Gapers and do the cabbage patch.

Yep

A lonely frog in an abandoned train yard whose best friend just died. It starts to rain.

Strawberry fields, as long as they bring in revenue.

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A lineup careening perilously towards B- territory.

The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Second biggest? Got your nose!

I can't believe that is your natural hair color. And it just grows right out of your butthole like that, huh? Gorgeous.

I don't care what the abyss did to you, it's not polite to stare...period.

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Relax Fonz, nobody MADE him sit on it. Let's just clean up this blood and get our stories straight, yeah?

Listen my child, for there are places in this world that you can not find on a map. That is to say, you're really bad at reading maps, idiot.

Broke and irrelevant, he used his final champagne wish to end the source of his madness - his unrelenting caviar dreams. Then there was only darkness

And when you come across the man named Witchita Stan, he can find his 50 grand in that Burger King trash can.

Legend tells us of a podcast so wondrous, it brought joy to whomever happened upon it. But enough about that. Here's Comedy etc etc.

The wonderful thing about tiggers? They know how to keep their goddam fucking mouth shut.

He was once but a young man, with a young man butt. Butt Youngman: Ass lawyer.

What is the source of the salt?

If I were king of the forest, first things first - the trees, am I right? I think we alllll know what I'm getting at. Wink wink.

Mr. speaker, let the record show that the chair recognizes an old high school acquaintance, but has chosen to feign ignorance and avoid eye contact.

Oswald Copplepot that Endsweld Copplepot. #captpukefishsux

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, but looks like a human, then it's probably just my Dad, and yes it's safe to throw bread at him.

Not stacked. Layed end to end. Obviously. Jesus fuck. Weirdos