CaptPukeFish

For some, the war never ended. For others, it never began. Then there are those who can only mastubate to certain cloud formations.This is their story

There's plenty of fish in the C word.

U can't say I didn't warn u. Also, u can't say I DID warn u. U can't say anything since they cut out ur tongue, which I shoulda warned u would happen

You might not like the guy stuffing cigarettes inside chairs, but you can't say he doesn't put butts in the seats.

I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, squatting over a fish, making it rain up in da club.

You can take my finger guns when you pry open my cold, dead finger-gunned shaped hands.

By how he packed his sack, he's not coming back. Scott reaches down from atop his unicorn and wipes my tear away with the back of his man hand.

I wasn't trying to be an asshole. How was I supposed to know that spilled milk killed his entire family.

It's lonely at the Hot Topic

Mess with the Bull Durham, get Lena Dunham horny.

You can keep saying "Everything old is new again", but I'm not eating anymore of these milk chunks.

An ole sightly tweaked favesy

Now, after all we've been through, I know why it's called the city of angels. Because "Los Angeles" is Spanish for "the angels".

You can keep your friends close, and you can keep your enemies closer, but you can't keep your friends clothes in your enemies nose, weirdo.

It would be remiss of me if I didn't commend you on the rare "Monday/Bonus" episode catchphrase combo this week, McLiverneck. A suspicious lack of corn I noticed, but impressive nonetheless.

Don't put the cart before the horse. Put that horse IN the cart, and show me you can close a deal. DEAD HORSE FOR SALE! DEAD HORSE FOR SALE!

A wild catchphrase appears. What do you want to do? A: Fight. B: Comedy Bang Bang

As a reminder, if this had been an actual catchphrase, it would have been followed by "Welcome to comedy bang bang"

Howie Mandel says a lot about Howie perceive reality.

The real scandal here is low-life catchphrase submitters leaking shit all over town, like a pants-less townie with diarrhea.

That movie about bipolar disorder was amazing. I mean, I laughed, I cried, and then I watched the movie.

And just like that...the catchphrase was over.

Her's was a tale of woe. Like, "woe, what a tale lady!" You know what I mean? Like "crazy". Crazy sad.

Oh Mr. McLiverneck, you do go on. You're not so bad yourself sir. Danke

Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Don't count your chickens AFTER they hatch. Don't. Ever. Count. Your. Chickens. Oh and since we're finally being honest with eachother? Those are MY chickens.