WithApologiesToJune

There's something clearly wrong with Michael's social skills. Despite being easily the most handsome man in the school, he still only manages to make one friend in an entire 9 month period. At least I assume that girl he talked to at the bowling alley was his friend, it's kind of hard to tell since they only have 2 or 3 scenes together. A handsome guy like that should have tons of friends in high school. Teens aren't exactly renowned for pricing personality over looks so he'd have to have a pretty unappealing personality to be so unpopular for such a long period of time. But even putting that aside, he goes to the bowling alley alone and his plan is to ask a group of guys who clearly don't like him and who have already tormented him at school to let him bowl with them? Even if they weren't clearly the most qliquish group in the whole school, Michael's gotta realize just showing up uninvited and begging for friends is weird, right? No normal person would act that way.

That bowling scene was amazing. The best part? That random nun who was just as enthusiastic as the horny high school kids about how everyone was going to score that night. I can't decide which is funnier: a horny nun trying to get laid at a bowling ally or a really oblivious nun who just thinks that everyone is really happy to bowl. Since she took part in the bowling lane gyration dance, I assume it's the former.

Okay, first time poster here. I know June didn't want us to, but we need to talk about the mole. I have so many questions about that mole. 1. Why does the department store owner keep calling it a wart? Those are two drastically different things, I don't understand how anyone can confuse a mole for a wart (and it's so clearly a mole). Was that just a costuming fail of did Terry Kiser not want to have to wear a fake wart so he asked for a hairy mole instead but they forgot to change the script? 2. Why did no one else react to the mole? Seriously, besides the department store owner, no one bats an eye. I was totally expecting it to come back in for an awesomely cheesy 80s one-liner. How perfect would it have been for Jason to throw a punch at the count and say "I've always loved a good game of whack a mole"? 3. Why didn't the count get the mole removed? Clearly the count was a vain man. He wanted the best clothes, the best jewelry, the best women. Even his henchmen had no redeeming qualities except for sex appeal (they certainly weren't smart, strong, or competent) so the count must have picked them solely because they were attractive. Given all that, you'd think he'd be ashamed of his mole especially since he's planning to live a life of wealth and debauchery in the Bahamas. This can't have been the first time someone has mentioned how disgusting that huge-ass piece of yarn that's been glued to his face looks and he clearly has the wealth (especially after stealing the Crown Jewels of Hauptmann-Koenig) to get the mole removed. Hell, he wouldn't have even had to get the mole removed. The mole itself is small, it's roughly the same size as a beauty mark. It's not misshapen or lumpy. Literally the only problem with it is that huge hair, so why didn't he just trim it off? Do they not have scissors in Hauptmann-Koenig or was he under a curse too? On an unrelated note, Hauptmann-Koenig translates as Captain-King, which is a really weird thing to name a fictional country. I feel like they should have been able to come up with a more relevant fake kingdom or even a subtle joke of some sort. Does anyone have any ideas why they chose that name?