Guys. Oh no. This was a mistake, but one I don't think I blinked through and gaped at with a half-dropped jaw -- I could actually hear an episode forming around it (mostly every time John Leguizamo appeared -- how is this the same human from Romeo + Juliet that I loved in 1997!?)
I've been planning to go to a seasonal screening featuring Blade Runner & Fifth Element, so I *accidentally* started watching Spawn at the beginning of a night shift (1am, when all the best movie mistakes get made) in the spirit of this visual godknowswhat that Roger Ebert was apparently on board for (?!) hahah what a joy. I sincerely hope they watch it someday, even just for their own enjoyment. There's even a Jason of the group, and my the pleated pants and sculpted facial hair. I think I need to go to some sort of rehab after having experienced this film.