Franz forgot a diaphragm and figured he'd find four in Fanny's full fannypack. The fool froze in fear as feminine fingers deflowered his efforts.

[Franz forgot a diaphragm and figured he'd find four in Fanny's full fannypack. The fool froze in fear as feminine fingers deflowered his efforts.]

----

[Too many times I've tried to tame the tiger. This time he tore my taint in twain.]

---

[I wonder if Wonder Woman wears a Wonderbra and what her womb will weigh? What? Too weird?]

--

[Uuuuuuugh... I came.]

-

[So schlong, and taints for all the mammaries.]

This is a guarantee

[It's a slipper slope: First, Roman Polanski is allowed to marry whom he wants and then my neighbor fuck-murders a cheetah.]

So...this is a grammatically fucked sentence and I can't delete it. The more you know...

[It's a slipper slope: First, Roman Polanski is allowed to marry whom he wants and then my neighbor fuck-murders a cheetah.]

Slippery slope...goddammit

[It's a slipper slope: First, Roman Polanski is allowed to marry whom he wants and then my neighbor fuck-murders a cheetah.]

The end of days

[Toby or not Toby: That is the Michael Scott question]

Yes, this is dumb.

[Some Guidelines on Suggestions]

Suggestion then that meets all the criteria. "The Reflecting Skin." Completely free and available on YouTube, made in 1990, co-stars a young Viggo Mortensen, and has a premise that would make Uwe Boll call bullshit.

[The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy vs. The Making Of The Lord Of The Rings trilogy]

I'm just really confused about OP's phrasing of...well...everything. Something about a LoTR trilogy and something about documentaries.

[The Reflecting Skin (1990)]

Recently watched this one. A friend's girlfriend brought casually suggested we watch the DVD she just happened to have. I really thought she may have been mentally unbalanced. But with the passing of time, I watched it again, and it really is a beautiful movie. But all the same, how the fuck did this movie get made? Early Viggo Mortensen is very unsettling. The mother waterboarded the child. The sheriff's monologue about how he received his wounds is unintentionally hilarious. The twin sisters making weird noises is never explained. The weird "greaser"-like gang is horrifying in implication. The premise alone is so weird: a vampire movie not about vampires, a coming of age story about a child that could give Damien a run for his money, a murder mystery that everyone seems comfortable blaming on the immolated and closeted father, a time period that is both non-specific and confusing, and a tragic yet creepy love story.

 

I think a lot of cocaine was consumed in Hollywood that day.

["Look closely," the magician said, right before peeing in my eye. That's the last time I go see Kelly the Great.]

R. Kelly can't quite ease into retired life

[Why don't you monogram THIS on a pillow, you elderly piece of shit: "#1 Grandma"]

This took a turn

[I'll try to keep this brief: the People of the United States v. Comedy Bang Bang]

The trial of the century.

[Comedy Bing Crosby: This time with more minutes of soulful crooning than you can shake a Rhythm Boy at and still have a White Christmas]

References!

[CBB Forums: Home of those not as funny as they think they are.]

Nothing, really. Just reading the submissions and finding myself very sad. They are not worthy of dear, sweet, loving Scotty Auxerman and his supple, yet tender lips.

[CBB Forums: Home of those not as funny as they think they are.]

You know who you are.

[CBB: Promising more uncomfortable metaphors than an incestuous romantic comedy penned by Charlie Kaufman and directed by Jerry Seinfeld]

s

[Scott Aukerman is like Oklahoma cocaine - stepped on by everyone and enjoyed by no one]

Fun fact, Oklahoma cocaine is dandruff.

[Powder (1995)]

Terrible movie...to each their own...but this line from the movie has always lived on in my head as the cheesiest line with the corniest delivery:

Powder: The worst day I can remember was in a hospital. Sheriff Barnum: What day was that? Powder: The day I was born.

This just seemed so damn stupid.

[This show is like crack cocaine: amazing alone, but causes anxiety when in mixed company.]

Above

[The show with the most pubes per host: 75]

Who doesn't like to talk about their pubes?