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About SweatyPremise

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  1. SweatyPremise

    Episode 181 - Freejack: LIVE!

    I feel like I completely missed something or the script supervisor did. So after Freejack Furlong decides to not take those suicide ads up on their offer, he wanders through the slums somewhere that (as far as I can tell?) we've never been before in the city. And yet, Rene Russo knows exactly where to take Black Panther Samurai to find him. There's no discussion or explanation or major reveal as to why. Just Furlong walking out of the shadows saying, "Hey girl, let's hug (and it's weird that all they do is hug while Russo's bodyguard makes sure the people don't attack?). I tried to figure it out using geography because maybe it was his apartment in Park Slope, but that doesn't make sense either because Vacendek would have known where he might go, right? Anyways, I'm not sure which bridge he jumped off, but I assume one of the mid-town ones, so 59th street or maybe even as far up as GW. But that would mean he washes up in New Jersey or Brooklyn, right? I'm guessing Brooklyn based on the ground-level being near the water but are they meeting outside his old apartment? That doesn't add up to me--can anyone help? Also, am I correct that the guy who gives the Eagle Speech is an operative for Mike from Breaking Bad? Isn't he in one of the rival gangs in the big warehouse shootup? When Furlong walks away he says something like, "Oh Furlong, if only you knew that we're going to get you," so I assume so. But nothing is ever made of this. And if it is the case, why would he stop him from killing himself? Why not offer to help and then tie him up or something? I actually tried to pay attention to this one, but the only thing I can think of to explain these massive gaps is the reshoots?
  2. SweatyPremise

    Episode 175 - Ultraviolet: LIVE!

    No one made a single comment about the title of the film. Her name is Violet, and she is certainly ultra-powerful, but it's also a reference to UV wavelengths, which are what vampires (hemophages) are sensitive to. Also, nothing disinfects like UV light, so it also suggests that it's good for humans. I think it's a ham-handed attempt to suggest that exposing secrets is the best way to heal both vampires and humans. But again, what the fuck? Confusing as shit. Anyway, if you read the novelization of the film, you find out that hemophages have powers, sensitivity to light, and live shorter than regular humans. You also find out that Chicago is the key location in the film. It's the place where the bowling balls attack in the beginning, where V infiltrates shit and runs around, and also where vampires were invented. Btw--I cannot suggest the novel. It's just as stupid and shitty and confusing as the movie.
  3. SweatyPremise

    Episode 172 - The Last Dragon: LIVE!

    One man's huckster is another man's prophet. I think he's a great Lama in the Vajrayana tradition. I would not be surprised if he had a relationship with Leroy. IN fact, I think there's another cut of this movie where Leroy is an orphan. It would make the plot make quite a bit more sense. But it would also cut out all the drama and really make it boring to mainstream audiences. No clue how they got so many episodes out of Kung Fu.
  4. SweatyPremise

    Episode 172 - The Last Dragon: LIVE!

    No one talked about my favorite characters. The Chinese dudes who wanted to be black and kept tricking Leroy. This multicultural vision of New York was an ideal that we all fall short of. The entire film is a love letter to Bruce Lee from Gordy. But my favorite thing about this movie is how it's a Hertzogian meditation upon meaninglessness. Ultimately Leroy's master tricks him and then tricks him again in order to get him to embrace the nothingness at the center of a fortune cookie without a fortune. I guess you could try and say the film is about Leroy learning to trust himself, but I think it's actually Leroy learning to become a Buddha figure (which is why he calls the young Huxtable girl Lotus, a clear nod to the Lotus Sutra), find Nirvana, and embrace the joy that comes with a true understanding of nihilism.
  5. SweatyPremise

    Episode 170 - Bratz

    There were way more revealing gaffs with Dylan's deafness. He's the one who starts dancing to La Cucaracha at the Super Sweet 16. But he was seated too far away from the speakers to feel that song (if he would even be able to recognize the song from a single voice) and based on his position and the film he wouldn't be able to lip read. This is mentioned in the imdb goofs but I noticed it right away as well. In terms of pacing and film-making, I have to say this actually blows up most of my expectations, as Kate suggested. There's only one moment of artificial witholding of information, and it's when Yasmin doesn't tell her friends about the flashdrive at the end. The stereotypes are established cartoonishly at the beginning, only to get fucking blow the fuck up in the first 10 minutes and repeatedly undermined in the ensuing film. But if you're paying attention, the rapid two year time jump makes the friends' fallout and reunion take like 10 minutes. In fact, in that scene where Chloe is standing on the desks and looking out the window after their detention, I was sure it would take the rest of the film to resolve their differences. Instead, it's resolved in a single conversation that takes like 2 minutes. In contrast, Mean Girls has the entire film resolve a similar conflict. The real conflict of this film is the slobs versus the snobs. What I want to take issue with is how anyone could disagree that this wasn't parody. Are there straight up fascist principals out there I don't know about? I went to a giant public school and agree they're basically prisons for children, but even I didn't have signs that said OBEY and CONFORM.
  6. SweatyPremise

    Episode 169.5 - Minisode 169.5

    I just watched Bratz, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. My wife enjoyed it too. If you want background info on an old review, Nathan Rabin famously gave it a C+ and here's his justification for why: http://film.avclub.com/on-bratz-and-men-1798211931.
  7. SweatyPremise

    Episode 169.5 - Minisode 169.5

    Actually, the Soviet Union often had a difficult relationship with unions, which is why Lech Walesa's Solidarnosc protests among the dock unions in Poland was such a thorny issue for the USSR. You would imagine that unions and communists would be a great fit. But in a communist society, unions should be unnecessary because labor is never alienated. For Horror Movies I want to see Foodfight! Or one of those shitty 90s horror remakes. House on Haunted Hill or 13 Ghosts.
  8. SweatyPremise

    Episode 168.5 - Minisode 168.5

    I was allowed to watch Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th at 5 or so. My parents covered my eyes for the boobies, but the bloody murders of teens was just dandy. I know I saw Garbage Pail Kids around the same time, but I can't recall it. The trading cards made more of an impression. I think Paul is probably right that Sidaris is trying to kill people with vitamins. For some reason I thought Shades was the Vitamin Guy. But I guess he wasn't.
  9. SweatyPremise

    Episode 168 - Hard Ticket to Hawaii: LIVE!

    From my understanding of Bechdel's writings, the Bechdel test was itself a joke about how low the bar is for female representation in Hollywood films in the first place. Did I misread her book completely? I thought in its first version "Two women discussing something other than their appearance" and the second revised version, "something other than their appearance or a man" it was intended to illustrate the paltry and pathetic offerings for women, even in supposedly empowering films. Wasn't Aliens her first and only example? Or am I misremembering? Anyways, I think more blatantly offensive in this movie is something that was touched on in the podcast by Andrea or the other guest--why was the half Chinese guy obviously white? They didn't even do old-style Charlie Chan style yellowface. Talk about white-washing. What is it with movies in Hawaii and white washing? Isn't there one with Emma Stone? This movie makes no sense on any level, but I have to make a public service announcement. If anyone is tempted, don't listen to the vitamin guy's advice. You can most certainly eat too much vitamin C. Even in the amounts he suggests, taken in conjunction with all the other vitamins, you would most certainly get ill.
  10. SweatyPremise

    Episode 167.5 - Minisode 167.5

    Paul, thank you for registering the appropriateness of my name. But the irony is that my name is appropriate for these films, so I am not myself a Sweaty Premise on the forums for this podcast. We can never be what we behold, I suppose. Isn't that Wagner? The great Robert Wagner, character actor, of course. I have to say I'm shocked by people who thought Hard Ticket was difficult to watch. I was generally bored watching by myself at 4 in the afternoon, but the boredom was punctuated by some wonderful madness. The soundtrack is from a bad video game. Plus, some truly insane moments in there. I won't spoil them, but I had to laugh and question if I'd seen what I just saw. Plus, you can't argue with the moral of the story.
  11. SweatyPremise

    Episode 167 - Chopping Mall: LIVE!

    They discuss their survival and situation in the air ducts. It's Aliens level Bechdel test passing. But that's actually Allison's example in her updated version of her test. NO ONE HAS NOTICED THIS BUT IT'S THE MOST HIGH BROW THING IN THIS FILM: The sporting good's store where they get the guns? It's called Peckinpah's. I have to assume after Sam Peckinpah, a la The Wild Bunch. Makes sense because it becomes a Western like High Noon after that point. Shame on everyone for not noticing that.
  12. SweatyPremise

    Episode 167 - Chopping Mall: LIVE!

    This movie passes the Bechdel test and has a strong competent heroine. More feminist films on HDTGM! My real issue with the lasers is that they get reflected with mirrors. Also, I have an issue with how this movie posits that electricity transfers when you smash into something that's being short-circuited. That's how that one dude dies when he drives the golf-cart into the one that explodes. That's just not how electricity works. Also, these robots completely malfunction but then they just go about their appointed rounds like normal and say "Have a nice day." Their malfunctioning is too inconsistent to track. It's almost as if the logic of Chopping Mall is flawed. The most obvious problem is the one that they touch on--these killbots have WAY WAY WAY too powerful weapons for mall security bots. Police brutality for realz. When the Janitor got shocked to death I must have time travelled to 2007 because I suddenly screamed, "Don't tase me bro." Fuck the fuschia, it's Friday. Let's go send these fuckers a Rambo-gram.
  13. SweatyPremise

    Episode 498 - What That DOS

    I would watch Cap'n's show.
  14. SweatyPremise

    Episode 166 - Timecop: LIVE!

    I want to live in a Time Village with Timecop keeping me safe, Doc Brown doing my dental work, Doctor Who doing my general checkups, Ash working at the S-Mart, Bill and Ted as the lovable stoners, and the Terminator. Timecop for Timecrimes, and Actor/Activist Ron Silvah for Time President of Time Town.
  15. SweatyPremise

    Episode 497 - Wait Awhile

    God damnit D'Arcy! He spends more time learning how to tell jokes than delivering them.