Call Waiting for Godot

late night Hamlet

It's not fair

I scream, you scream, we all scream for urethra memes

Tiny tater tots trot through tricky taint twats

there's a wenis between us

As the Widow Kulap awoke one morning from uneasy dreams she found her husband transformed in their bed into a monstrous vermin.

Don't be fooled: Kim's Cheesy Kimchi isn't kimchi at all.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Gwyneth Paltrow's severed head

Alfreda always confused citronella with salmonella. Now the mosquitoes can't ever hurt her again. Rest in peace, Alfreda.

She grabbed the aft of his shaft. / It grew like an inflatable raft. / Though they were drowning at sea / Just as quick as could be, / His boner was clueless; how daft!

You didn't need to be an inspector to see that no amount of Preparation H was going to fix those Go Go Gadget Hemorrhoids.

She says, "do you want fries with that?" and I go, "Non non non.... pommes frites s'il vous plaît!" Cause I'm classy as fuuuuck!

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be an astronaut. I guess I ended up with this lupus instead.

All the world's a stage, and I can't get a callback to save my goddamn life.

I ALWAYS confuse topical creams with topical references, and I've gotta tell you - those hot new fidget spinners did absolutely nothing for this flaky rash

Sadly, Mother's Day still gives Oedipus a raging boner.

Charlemagne for my real friends, real magne for my charle friends

No amount of Viagra can possibly fix your impotent rage. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

Gripping the edges of her AARP Magazine, as tightly as the arthritis would allow... she suddenly feared that this colonoscopy could be her very last.

I'm not that same little girl from Savannah, mama.

I'm your comedy sherpa. I'll guide you on this thrilling journey, until I leave your frozen corpse up the side of a mountain. This is Comedy Bang Bang.

If the Lord didn't want me chewin' off my toenails, he wouldn't have blessed me with these teeth in my head.

Ma'am, these glands aren't going to express themselves. Now step away from the labradoodle anus so I can get to work.

Open your greedy little mouths, children... who's hungry for more? This is Comedy Bang Bangers and Mash.

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