BIG COMEDIAN PRESS CONFERENCE LATER THIS MORNING, ENJOY!

[BIG COMEDIAN PRESS CONFERENCE LATER THIS MORNING, ENJOY!]

I’m sorry

[We hereby claim the state of laughs for jokes, goofs and gags!]

Free shipping LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

[I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in, I'll never reach the ground. Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us, we're far from the Shallow, Hal.]

Sha-a-allow, Shallow Hal

[Here, have some money. The name's Anthropist, Phil Anthropist.]

$$$

[Colonel Popcorn, 55th Division, Jiffy Squad, reporting for comedy duty, sir]

I wasn't good enough to make it in Army

[Mr. Floyd, build this Wall up!]

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way

[Help wanted: seeking four rude, crude dudes with attitude to fight some crime that's happening downtown. Experience wearing a shell is a plus. This is not a trap. Please contact Shredder at 555-xxxx.]

You heard me

[A man (Johnny Depp), a plan (a bank heist), a canal (Erie), am i doing this right?]

Weird Shallow Hal

[Time to fire up the ol’ tackle box and get tacklin’]

Your sister’s box is awesome bro, smells like provolone

[Not to be offensive, but say what you want... LITERALLY. Coming this Fall to a theater near you.]

You must post to enter

[Would you rob Peter to pay Paul to kill Mary? The answer, my friend, is yes.]

Hm

[You can’t poo in a shoe if it’s not filled with goo]

A man a plan a canal, The Last Canal

[He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he’s a braaaaaaand newwwwww carrrrr!!!]

Congratulations

[You can't spell pajamas without a J, so I'm off to train in the driveway!]

It's a real steal of a deal

[Episode 513 - Hobo Code]

Randy Travels is an A+ character, the bit with the cinnamon rolls had me cracking up and I especially loved the line about (paraphrasing) 'packing Scott up in a box like a Vizio flat screen TV'. An excellent lost episode, and also an excellent episode of Lost!

[I have been to Houston, and I can assure you that it is *not* space.]

I have been to Houston, and I can assure you that it is *not* space.