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TootyBut2DButt

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Everything posted by TootyBut2DButt

  1. Dial 1 for my butt. That is your only option, you may not hang up the call.
  2. I consider fiat currency to be the gold standard of monetary systems.
  3. Sometimes if I eat an entire pizza I get heartburn, uhhh, what gives body!?!?
  4. Hey Rodney, maybe people would respect you more if you stopped using double negatives.
  5. People don't seem to respect me, the only pen pal I ever had was a pig.
  6. Turns out the person who told me I had bad skin wasn’t a dermatologist they were a racist.
  7. You had me at “Lay on Macduff”, don’t mind if I do.
  8. Grab your guns and let’s go find out how immortal this bard really is.
  9. I put the cuum in vacuum.
  10. Diapers for shits, vipers for pits when, when it’s me on the aux cord I play the hits.
  11. I know the pet food business is competitive but as the CEO of Purina, using the phrase “dog eat dog” so much is raising suspicions.
  12. Babies are famously bad at sleeping and certainly aren’t a model to aspire to sleep like.
  13. I was going to touch him with my hot feet to warm him up but I got cold feet.
  14. If you hit it, you must acquit it.
  15. I’ve seen Batman begin but now I’d like to see him finish.
  16. I think I’m going to hit the sack, said the dominatrix.
  17. Does a bear shit in the woods? Because I’m trying to get ahold of some bear shit.
  18. If you’ve seen the shit I have to deal with then you’re probably my proctologist.
  19. My kicks are sick but they look like dicks, walkin’ down the street, skeetin’ with my feet.
  20. Two if by land, one if by sea, when the British arrive, I poop and pee.
  21. Lilo and Stitch were found in a ditch, eating their Christmas Pie.
  22. Better a Charlie Cough Man than a Charlie Horse Man.
  23. Nothing gets me harder than blood flow to my penis.
  24. TootyBut2DButt

    Waiter, this yeast piss is delicious!

    stealing this for my own personal lexicon
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