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Everything posted by TootyBut2DButt

  1. She fucked me into Oblivion and then flipped me over and took me straight to Skyrim.
  2. When it comes to safe sex the most important thing is not to get locked in the safe while you’re having sex.
  3. I’m so horny I could cum.
  4. A bonafide altruist, Gandhi was known to provide gas, grass AND ass to those in need.
  5. There are no positive implications to saying “I’m about to take my dog to pond-town.”
  6. Yeah, that's gonna be a no from me dog, I will not be adopting you.
  7. Catch Freys? Who am I, Lady Stoneheart!!?
  8. Put your ear to the ground and listen to the sounds of the ground, it sounds like ground.
  9. I have a tick where I can't stop putting towers on my castles which is why I've started taking pills for turrets syndrome.
  10. Please, spit into my cuspidor so that your mouth might not be filled tobacky.
  11. On eagles wings I fly o'er mountain and field, peeing a little the whole time.
  12. Did you know "My Neck, My Back" is actually about the war in Iraq?
  13. I used to use sham-poo but then I upgraded to real-poo.
  14. I can't afford smoke so I have to get second-hand smoke.
  15. I pooped my pants but worse yet, I pooped my shirt.
  16. Look at that irate pirate gyrate.
  17. Hold me like you hold your calls.
  18. Someone tell the Academy that kids today care less about "documentary shorts" and more about "booty shorts".
  19. The sixties called they want their unwavering fight for peace and community back.
  20. I hate to be a pedant but I believe it's actually pronounced "these testicles".
  21. What started as a vasectomy debate has now turned into a full on jism schism.
  22. To be fair, we were warned to beware the ides of March.
  23. The advancement of green technology is critical to our survival which is why I'm using my PhD to develop green eggs and ham.
  24. Those who can't do teach, so teachers who teach teachers are the worst teachers to be teaching teachers how to teach.
  25. Forsooth! This elusive sleuth has a uncouth booth where she pulls information tooth by tooth from the youth and guzzles it down like a fine aged vermouth.