TootyBut2DButt

In Mexico Aquaman is called Auga muchacho.

Did you know the 1979 song “Message In A Bottle” was originally called “Piss In A Bottle” but the name was changed after Sting realized no one wanted to hear a song about the time he peed in a bottle.

Hachi machi, where’s my hitachi!

A car jacking is a very different crime in the Pixar universe.

I want Luke Skywalker to force feed me.

I've never saved a life with the Heimlich maneuver but I have saved countless lives with the HAIM-Lick maneuver.

After I mated with my bicycle I became a spokesperson.

It’s time for catchphrase submitters to unionize.

While less misogynistic, off the body wet t-shirt contests are pretty boring.

I hate to make excuses about my penis but that’s why my nickname is Dick Caveat.

Yankee Doodle went to town on that pony.

I got addicted to censoring films so I had to join MPAA.

A good solution to gang violence would be to let Kool run more of them. How often have you heard about The Gang getting in trouble since Kool took over.

ISIS? More like cry-SIS, those guys are babies.

I’m horny for New Zealand.

Imagine if it really was raining men.

In cum, in neck koala tea.

This is CNN reporting that a child you never knew and never could have known has died in a horrible way. The tragicness of their death was only eclipsed by the tragedy that was their life. Feels sad, you sadness bitch.

Judas was a patsy.

You can't hear the actors on the recording? Did you try putting a microphone on the end of a long stick and holding it over their heads?

For every zoomer with a tumor there's a boomer with a lot of medical debt.

I just found out my wife has been faking her moon landings for years now.

Turtlenecks were invented as a prank.

"Things are getting pretty hot and heavy." said the man traveling to the dense molten core of the sun.

Whoopsie, I accidentally left Jeff Bezos in space!